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Serkis in undeniably the star of this film
jess-15412 February 2008
Director Paul Andrew Williams wanted to "write a film that cost no money and was all set in one place". And the first sixty or so minutes stuck to this agenda pretty well; Two brothers kidnap the daughter (Jennifer Ellison) of a wealthy man, he sends out two crazy Chinese guys to kill them, nerdy brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) looses the all important mobile phone and older hard-man brother David (Andy Serkis) swears a lot, all in the confines of a deserted cottage. The dialogue is just about snappy enough to keep this interesting. Not much to be said for the camera work – but it does kinda add to the atmosphere. And then they end up in another cottage and the blood bath begins.

It's pretty obvious why they cast Ellison: she has big bouncy boobs and her harsh liverpoodlian accent is juxtaposed perfectly with her blonde hair and Barbie doll face. No one really cares that her script rarely ventures beyond words too rude to publish here – the camera generally focuses on her chest/backside with the occasional headbut thrown in. Shame really; I was hoping she'd amaze us all with her diverse acting talent, but I guess it's a case of you can take the girl out of Brookside but you won't get an amazing actress out of a soap star.

Serkis in undeniably the star of this film. The perfect gangster with a heart, his sincerity and charm kept me watching throughout. I'm not entirely sure why he chose to do The Cottage – perhaps, like me, he was hoping this would be one of those rare things; a funny independent British comedy. But unfortunately it just felt like Williams had taken The Chain Sore Massacre and Hot Fuzz, cut out the best bits, stuck the leftovers in a blender and then forgot to cook it properly.

By all means go see this if you like blood, guts and rolling heads, just don't expect any intellect in the script.
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Well worth a visit!
teresaband24 February 2008
British horror movies have always had a unique sense of humour, with "Severance" being a good recent example of savvy brit film-makers throwing laughs and gore together to great effect. This carries on that tradition, and in Reece Shearsmith they're blessed with an actor whose comic chops are well up to scratch. Andy Serkis is no slouch either, playing the straight man brilliantly as a mobster who's hard as nails but a little fuzzy on the inside.

The laughs are pretty reliable, and as the situation goes from bad to worse a lot of those laughs come from the (severe) misfortune of the poor souls on screen, and the blend of splatter and slapstick is well tuned. Jennifer Ellison does grate after a while, her constant use of swearing amusing at times but often a little irritating. Still, she has a fantastic body on her and that ball shrivellingly tough accent to fall back on, so her presence isn't entirely unwelcome. As a comedy it works extremely well, and as a gore movie there's some inventively wince-inducing moments, and with the balance just right "The Cottage" is well worth a visit.
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Mindless, twisted mayhem!
shady40227 April 2008
The best way to sum up this film is 'interesting...!' The violence, blood and gore is fantastic. If you want to see people decapitated and hacked to bits and want to laugh at the same time, this recent British horror comedy is definitely for you. The main characters are fun, likable and witty, Andy Serkis is fantastic, the dialogue is hilarious and the film is just entertaining from start to finish.

However, the storyline is quite simply all over the place. It's an incoherent mess to be exact! The film just twists and turns in different directions raising a number of questions, which it then leaves unanswered. Characters and subplots are introduced and then forgotten about. However, I'm guessing most people would not want to see this for the plot so if you just want some mindless, gory fun, go and see this.
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Horrific fun! Reece Shearsmith shines in excellent black comedy
LittleScarletBlue5 February 2008
Warning: Spoilers
'The Cottage' is an intriguing, genre mixing film, full of twists and turns - an exhilarating 90 minutes. Its gory and funny but one that anchors the splatter comedy to deftly drawn characters enduring a heightened reality one hell of a night.

The nightmarish black comic horror is skillfully delivered, with the gorefest conventions given a darkly comic twist. The film's tongue-in-cheek exuberance humorously balances the grisly nature of the horrific injuries that are inflicted on screen.

What makes 'The Cottage' so distinctive is the unusual approach it takes for a film where a gore infested climax is the pay off. At the heart of the film, and what makes the film stand out for me, is the emotional investment in the two main characters. You really do end up caring what happens to its key protagonists, the brothers David and Peter.

There is an emotional depth about them that made me wish even more time could have been spent with the pair, their arguments and interplay, exploring their relationship and its bickering background.

The relationship between the brothers, brilliantly played by Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith, is a highlight of the film. Their fraught fraternal relationship has a believability about it which grabs you from the moment they appear on screen & the scenes between them crackle with tension, humour and emotion.

Serkis's character is one used to being in control, but his tough, hard streetwise nature is under pressure almost immediately as the kidnapping plan begins to unravel, giving way to repressed anger and growing frustration.

Although Andy Serkis's David is forced out of his comfort zone as the plot unfolds, Reece Shearsmith's Peter is out of his depth from the start, reluctantly brought into a world he knows nothing about and ill equipped to deal with it at any level. His timidity is accompanied by a moralising disapproval of his brother.

Into this mix are thrown two more characters, the kidnapped Tracey and her black sheep stepbrother Andrew (nicely played by Jennifer Ellison and Steven O'Donnell) They are the natural comic grotesques of the movie, hindering and exasperating by extreme measures, a contrasting comic counterpoint to the carefully delineated characters of David and Peter. Much of the comedy comes from the dynamics of their enforced relationship and how they react to the ever worsening situation they find themselves thrust into.

Both the quarrelsome brothers are superbly played, but Reece Shearsmith is truly outstanding. His performance is beautifully nuanced with great comic timing and skillful characterisation. Peter is by turns wimpish, pernickety, argumentative, pathetic, vulnerable. He's hilariously yet tragically out his depth. Shearsmith's performance really holds the film together - it's brilliantly subtle and multi-layered. He brings so much to the role, not only comedically but emotionally too. He gives the film its heart, its pathos.

The bloody battlefield climax at the farmhouse sees the gory finale delivered with aplomb - the comedy and horror unfold with beautiful pace and precision.

Even here, amid the bloodletting, there is a moment of the unexpected and unusual which makes 'The Cottage' stand out. Its a low key, almost poetic scene which seals a growing understanding between the brothers. The badly injured pair contemplate their demise as they look up at a star filled night sky. Its a moment of humanity amid the carnage, sad and touching because its a hoped for reconciliation that will never happen.

'The Cottage' is a very entertaining blending of comedy and horror with a depth not usually associated with the genre and its directed with real confidence and verve.

There is a sense of sadness in the midst of the horrific fun of 'The Cottage' which lingers in the memory afterwards because its central characters matter and you care what happens to them - a rarity for the horror genre which marks the film out.

Its original approach, well evoked atmosphere, at times comically and bloody surreal , the blackly ironic pitch and top notch performances by the two leads, especially a brilliant Reece Shearsmith, make 'The Cottage' a comedy horror whose genre blending works a memorable treat!
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It's a comedy with bite, right to the end.
Spikeopath14 April 2008
Two brothers, David & Peter, kidnap Tracey, the daughter of local tough guy gangster Arnie, they hold her to ransom for the sum of £100,000. What they hadn't bargained into the equation is that Tracey is one tough feisty lady, and that a turn of events will lead them to something far more scary than big bad gangster Arnie.

This is the second feature from director Paul Andrew Williams, and bearing in mind that his debut effort was the highly lauded gritty drama London To Brighton, it's no surprise to find that some folk are a little bemused as to the genre splicing nature of The Cottage. The Cottage is far more in keeping with Christopher Smith's 2006 horror comedy, Severance, and certainly it wouldn't be out of place as a double bill with that criminally undervalued picture.

Very much a film of two halves, this picture is likely to prove a very divisive piece, and it will (has) only find an audience based on word of mouth alone. You will be hard pressed to find any sort of press marketing that will prepare you for the type of genre fusion film you are getting. Already, based on the comments written on this site thus far, you can see that some people were confused (or annoyed) by the tonal shift for the second half of the film. The first half sees poles apart brothers, David & Peter, swapping comedy dialogue as they whisk through a number of exchanges and circumstances with the marvellously volatile Tracey. While the second part of the picture hits you over the head with a quick switch to horror formula that has catering fulfilment for the gore junkies amongst us.

And this is where the problem lies with many, why didn't the film stay as a kidnap farce? Why didn't it set its stall out to be a horror film from the off? There is no denying that the films' high points come with the horror moments, but the film is first and foremost a comedy, from the first reel to the cheeky end of credits sequence it is what it is. As deliciously sick as the gore shift is, The Cottage never once takes its tongue out of its bloody cheek. It's obvious that Paul Andrew Williams is having fun here, and he is clearly hoping his audience will as well. View it as an all encompassing comedy/horror/thriller in that order and you wont go far wrong.

Andy Serkis plays David, the tough brother of the two, with Serkis doing a wonderful line in both visual and vocal comedy. This benefits Reece Shearsmith as Peter, a character so far under the thumb he can barely be seen. Shearsmith feeds off of Serkis to seal the comedy deal for this odd brotherly couple. British tabloid fave Jennifer Ellison plays Tracey, literally swearing for England to have the audience divided as to if they want her to survive or not! But it's a gutsy show from her and one hopes she ventures into this territory a bit more often. There is nothing new or fresh here, and this wont win any awards; even in its homeland of England, but it is FUN and it shows a director intent on making films from different genres. 8/10
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Well regardless of the IMDb score i thought it was a good film.
postmanvendetta15 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Original no. Tasteful no. But this film is still worth seeing. The films plot line revolves around a wannabe gangster, his sissy brother and a big fat dumb bloke, kidnapping this big gangsters daughter in order to hold her off for a ransom of 100,000 pounds. However things go terribly wrong and eventually after a slow but subtly funny beginning (the two brothers act it out like a bickering married couple and the fat dumb bloke cant help but to make you smile) the main characters stumble across this cottage hosted by a deformed, demented farmer who in many cringe-worthy ways (i.e heads getting split in 2 by garden spades) picks them off. Like i said it was never going to win awards for originality, but i laughed at this film in the same way i did to Shaun of the dead, which to me makes it worhty for at least one viewing, but people who love black comedies (like me) will definitely want to see this again. YWNA
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absolutely hilarious movie!!!
I loved this movie, it is definitely my favourite film I have seen this year. I wasn't expecting much as I can't stand Jennifer Ellison, but I was pleasantly surprised. Firstly the first half of the film is funny as hell then the 2nd half is gory as hell but done in a comedy way. The acting is absolutely superb and even I must admit Ellison was perfectly cast even if she did use the "F" word a few too many times. Andy serkis stole the show for me, I didn't know he could act without making stupid noises (Lord of the rings) or being dressed as a 10ft ape (king kong) but in this he is very funny without the CGI. All in all I would recommend this film who doesn't take films too seriously.
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Cannot decide what it wants to be
seawalker19 March 2008
You might say that "The Cottage" has opened to less than stellar reviews in the UK. Frankly, this is a slight understatement. The truth of the matter is that "The Cottage" has opened to stinkingly bad reviews in the UK. Just terrible write ups.

Part of the issue the UK critics seem to have with "The Cottage" is that Director Paul Andrew Williams decided to follow up his low budget, gritty, violent and critically lauded thriller "London To Brighton", with a pretty generic horror film. I don't mind that so much. In fact I kind of admire it. As a film fan I see all kinds of films. I would imagine that any film Director started off at some point as a film fan and, as such, would like to have a crack at making all kinds of films. If "The Cottage" had been a masterpiece then it wouldn't have mattered, would it? Just another Director working in a different genre.

Sadly, "The Cottage" is not a masterpiece. Far from it. Slapstick horror is very difficult to pull off, and "The Cottage" does not come close, but it is not the total flop you might think it would be from reading the reviews. I think the problem with "The Cottage" is that it cannot decide what it wants to be. Knockabout kidnapping comedy or knockabout horror comedy? It is a bit of both, but not enough of either. Sad to say it, but all of the best bits are all in the trailer.

Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith are fine as the bickering, mismatched brothers and kidnappers: Andy Serkis permanently grumpy and frustrated, Reece Shearsmith, jumpy, under the thumb and a sufferer of Mottephobia. (You can look it up.) Boobilicious, lads mag favourite Jennifer Ellison as the tough as nails kidnap victim was a bit disappointing. I was expecting a lot more from her and didn't get it. Not nearly an energetic enough performance.

I went to see "The Cottage" with my Brother. I got a one word review from him. Sh*t. Maybe that says it all?
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"The Cottage" embraces convention, and for the most part, it works.
Mr_Censored13 April 2009
"The Cottage" is really two movies.

One part is a fairly generic but slightly amusing crime-story involving the kidnapping of a voluptuous, foul-mouthed blonde by two brothers. One is a seasoned criminal, while the other is an amateur at best, thus, situational comedy ensues. They take shelter in an abandoned cottage where their hostage gives them a run for their money – literally – and swears up a storm. While this half of the film wants to belong in the same company as "Shaun Of The Dead," it can't, because it's not clever enough and is far too saturated in clichés. Despite some strong performances, the characters are merely stereotypes. It's not the fault of the actors that their characters aren't convincing, though, because in reality, they were written and possibly intended as cardboard cut-outs, meant to service the second half.

Despite a rocky set-up, we get to the second part, a gut-bustingly fun homage to slasher films that would make the likes of Peter Jackson and Sam Raimi proud. When our criminals and guest cross paths with a deformed neighbor, madness ensues. Why no film has been brilliant enough to give its villain a shovel as weapon of choice is beyond me, as the red stuff is spilled in ways that are both shocking and hilarious. Truly, this is where the meat of the flick is. Despite the lack of depth in both story and characters, "The Cottage" does manage to serve up a nice, enjoyable dish of slasher casserole that pays tribute to its influences with some truly inventive slicing and dicing. To be honest, the film would be far more effective if it had played this hand early on, instead of setting up a routine, by-the-numbers premise, but in the end, it'll win you over by its unique "anything-goes" approach to somewhat tired material. It's hardly reinventing the wheel, and is not a flick everyone in the room will appreciate, but as a way to kill 90 minutes, you could do much worse.
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The Cottage from HELLarious
atinder16 September 2009
I heard a lot good reviews about movie on Horror sites, i could not wait check out.

I did not think I would like but BUT I Bloodly LOVED it at the end This movie start where two men who are brothers David and Peter have kidnap Tracey.

Peter and David get Tracey who is unconscious from the car boot. As they take her upstairs Peter gets then start look at her chest not realising that she's woke up. She head butts him several times and Peter screams and then David manages to get her off him and has to fix Peter's now as a bloody and broken nose after tying her to the bed.

Start of movie is really funny and it not gory or scary but then turns around half into movie, when it get really gory and it's bit scary.

I didn't expect to be as gory as it was and I did find the killer Scary for a horror comedy movie, it great killer well done with the great Make up effects, it was really good.

This one of best horror movies to come out last year 9/10
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Occasionally funny...but I really wouldn't bother.
fallyhag17 March 2008
Comment declaration: I am a genuine viewer with no intention of distorting the IMDb ratings to make people go and watch it (yes...the PR corruption of this website annoys me). Anyway...

For some reason I fell for the hype and thought this would be something different. I went along to the Kino on my own and had a big bowl of popcorn ready for the best of British.

The film started very predictably and there was nothing new standing out. No interesting camera work, script or imagination.

I like Serkis and Ellison and I reckon they both did an OK job. I liked the way Ellison didn't give a hoot how she looked on camera. Flab, bad skin and was all there. Good to see she is a pro about the acting and not just glossy. Her character was mean and moody and made me smile. But it was all predictable physical comedy that relied a lot on the "C" word. Not a nice word to use a lot.

I was aware it was going to be a kidnap followed by a killer but I couldn't work out the twist...and then I found out there just wasn't one. It was just plain and predictable with some very dull gore scenes. There is nothing new at all worth mentioning here. No imagination or attempt to break the cliché. As for the ending...well I really didn't see the point. Very flat and I was glad I could go.

I would like to say I was left with more questions than answers but it was just such a non-event that I really didn't give it a seconds thought.

How will I remember this film? Serkiss looked very mean. Ellison was nastily funny and had a great bod in the back of the car. Very odd second half that didn't really go anywhere.

Very very disappointing. Rating 5/10 (because the head butting scene made me smile).
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Yozza8115 March 2008
I thoroughly enjoyed this film.... Don't go into this expecting a horror is more in the mold of a Sean of the dead type of film.

Andy Serkis is great but for me the star is Reece Shearsmith as David, his character is so funny and Jennifer Ellison also provides great entertainment if a little too much swearing... All in all I really enjoyed this and the whole cinema was laughing loudly at certain parts whilst jumping out of their skins in others. Very Gory as well in parts I am sure if you are a fan of British cinema you will enjoy this movie as much as I did.
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thoughts such as "for better or worse" comes to mind
beregic17 May 2008
i guess i should call it a sarcastic horror-comedy show with "vintage" elements. it actually starts as a kidnapping thriller and ends up as a "traditional" horror. only the last 30 minutes could be considered as "horror".

a few things must be said. the pace of the movie is slow and sometimes very slow. but if you keep that in mind and you are in mood for some "dark" comedy you might as well enjoy it as i did.compared to "Shaun of the Dead" is not as funny but a bit more scarier. something to watch out of boredom and it might entertain you in that case( like when you busy with something else and need a background distraction that WILL get at least a few "gigs" out of you). overall i was not disappointed.this feature is missing a defined plot and i am not sure what that "point" would have been here( or could have), other then some really funny sarcastic jokes and some gore.

the main actor to watch here is Andy Serkis as one of the 2 brothers and the mastermind before the kidnapping.he does some great acting when everything goes wrong and it is quiet funny to watch him deal with his naturally idiotic brother( which at one point even personalizes Hitler, literally, but the character does not seem to be aware of that). there are also a few other characters but they not contribute much to the plot except for the "bad" one. the soundtrack is actually excellent in creating those horror "vintage" moods.
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A tale of mixed halves....
kevin_crighton18 March 2008
The Cottage tells the story of two brothers, (Andy Serkis & Reece Shearsmith), who have kidnapped the step-daughter (Jennifer Ellison) of a gangster. Taking her to a cottage in the woods they wait for the ransom. But what they find out there is something worse than the wrath of a gangster...

The Cottage is a horror/comedy written and directed by Paul Andrew Williams. He's tried to make a movie that turns into something different around half-way through. It's a pity that it doesn't work.

The first half of the movie at the Cottage isn't bad, and has some nice humour in it, for example the nerdier brother (Shearsmith) trying to be tough is quite amusing.

As a fan of horror movies however, I actually was a bit disappointed when the horror and gore side kicked in. Not that the gore and bloody violence isn't convincing, but that for me part of the problem was that as none of the characters were that likable to begin with, you don't really care about what happens to them.

This is a pity. Williams directs his own script well, staging the violence well, but it's his own writing that lets it down.

Horror/Comedy movies are hard to pull off. Evil Dead 2 works. Shaun Of The Dead works. An American Werewolf In London works. Dog Soldiers works(I do find it very funny).

Sadly though, The Cottage doesn't.
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Hysterical, but hardly a horror movie
incubusalex25 March 2008
I really liked this movie, up until around the fifty minute mark. To tell the truth, I'm not a horror fan at all so I was in it for the comedy, which I think it did really well! The setup and chemistry between the leads was really well done, the writing and pacing for the whole first half was great. All of the scenes with Jennifer Ellison were hysterical, especially if you happen to be a scouser yourself.

It fell flat towards the end, though. The balance between horror and comedy just sort of fell through and it turned into a really poor horror movie. The ending was a total letdown.

Still, it's the most entertaining thing I've watched this year, and I'd definitely recommend it to anybody with a sense of humour.
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A spot-on twisted horror black comedy
Woodyanders28 September 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Vicious hoodlum David (a marvelously ruthless portrayal by Andy Serkis) and his bumbling wimp brother Peter (ably played to the sniveling hilt by Reece Shearsmith) decide to abduct Tracey (a fabulously feisty performance by Jennifer Ellison), who's the abrasive and foul-mouthed daughter of a powerful mobster. However, things don't go as smoothly as planned.

Writer/director Paul Andrew Williams keeps the entertainingly off-center story moving along at a zippy pace, mines lots of laughs from a wickedly funny sense of pitch-black humor, delivers a few dandy and surprising macabre twists, and tops everything off with a handy helping of excessively gruesome gore. Serkis and Shearsmith display a winningly spiky chemistry as a pair of radically contrasting siblings; their spiky rat-tat-tat-tat sarcastic exchanges are an absolute hoot to behold. Steven O'Connell also excels as hopelessly inept bag man Andrew while Doug Bradley has a nice bit as a suspicious villager and Steven Beroff pops up in a cracking cameo at the very end. The sharp cinematography by Christopher Ross makes inspired use of the widescreen format. Laura Rossi's jaunty barnstorming score hits the spirited spot. A good'n'ghoulish blast.
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Excellent Horror-Comedy
MattyGibbs21 April 2013
This is a very entertaining comedy-horror though it is more horror than comedy. The supremely talented Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith are two brothers who have kidnapped Jennifer Ellison and are holding out for a ransom in an old cottage. Needless to say things don't go to plan and things get very bloody.

It does seem to be two films in one- the first half comedy-thriller and the second half slasher but this is not a downfall in my opinion. The film comes across as fresh and different to a lot of other more straightforward horrors.

What really elevates the film way above its contemporaries is the acting. Both the leads put in great performances and Jennifer Ellison is wonderfully over the top and foul mouthed as the kidnapped victim.

The horror -comedy genre is pretty difficult to get right but there are plenty of genuinely creepy moments as well as a few laughs to make this one of the rare successes of the genre. The ending is also excellent and surprising which is also rare for a horror film.

This film really is entertaining from start to finish and is highly recommended.
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Great comedy and greater horrors await you at The Cottage.
Cinema_Fan18 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Take television comedy actors Reece Shearsmith ("The League of Gentlemen"), Steve O'Donnell (Kevin and Perry Go Large 2000) one movie star Andy Serkis (The Lord of The Rings 2001 - 2003) and director and writer Paul Andrew Williams (London to Brighton 2006) and we have a very fresh faced English comedy based on stupidity, desperation and gruesome death.

A stylised horror with added humour and foul language to boot, this is comedy via a witless tribe of incompetents and amateurish plans to make some easy money. A charming story of two brothers (Shearsmith and Serkis) hiding out in a remote cottage, while their kidnapped victims London gangland boss pays off a one hundred thousand pound ransom for feisty daughter Tracey (Jennifer Ellison). Of course, thing do not go according to plan.

Funded by the UK Film Council and Screen Yorkshire this is horror most horrible, set with some fine colouring by cinematographer Christopher Ross (London to Brighton 2006), the Isle of Man and Yorkshire night time countryside has never looked so tense, suspenseful and dangerous. Then there is the wit of the script that takes its own form, with the added help of clueless kidnappers and Oriental thugs this script is the key core that propels the film forward to a festival of comedy and extreme hilarity, mixed with it murders most foul. Even if the outlaying plot does seem a tad familiar, it can be very much forgiven. The Cottage from the start has been given its own blend of ghastly misfortunes, its own characteristics that set it apart from the rest, like a Carry On gone wrong, The Cottage has built its reputation on a backbone of British humour that always hit's the right spot for the right reasons.

While nothing new to report in overall originality The Cottage is well prepared to take the risk of not pampering to the allure of the teenage cinema market, due respect to its bravery in having the 18 certificate upon it. In addition, with this adult tag comes adult humour and extreme adult violence. There is no compromise with what The Cottage holds within its rafters and with the horrors of it all it really does seem a change from the norm and to see fresh meat, and blood, injected and dissected, into a British film as The Cottage is only a step in the right direction for British Cinema, I'm moving in as soon a possible.
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Delirium can have qualities
boccaccio624 May 2009
If delirium can have qualities, this movie sure has. What should be appreciated here is the integrity that lies in every minute, in every single shot. There is some philosophical deepness in it, the idiot machine characters playing a script from which they cannot escape. This kind of situation usually makes viewers laugh, as a reaction to the inevitableness of stupidity in life, where intelligence plays no role. The plot may seem crazy and twisted: it is not; every minute builds the next one, in a crescendo which is sustained till the end. Add that it is shot nicely, characters are perfectly chosen for the job, the scenery, should say the furniture has a warm touch, blood floods freely. What more can you ask from a horror comedy?
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better than i expected
elilichtenberg1 June 2008
i am not understanding all the flak this movie is taking. you have a dash of lock, stock and two smoking barrels, a healthy measure of suicide kings and a good sample of Texas chain saw massacre with some sly British wit. the elfmanesque score certainly doesn't hurt. all in all compared to other cross-pollination in the horror genre it was head and shoulders above the rest and would like to see a sequel(and i hate sequels).

in all i think the brits are catching up to the Japanese as far as new approaches to the horror genre and have definitely passed the Americans (hatchet...? please)
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This movie was hilarious!
lmt_is_me17 May 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I have never heard of it before but when I saw Andy Serkis's name in it, I knew it would be good. Was it one of the best movies I have even seen? No, but it is a great way to spend 90 minutes.

This movie was quite funny. The interaction between the two brothers was classic sibling rivalry. These guys were a bunch of losers. They can't even plan a kidnapping without arguing. Watching David trying to teach his brother to sound menacing was so funny. Hearing Peter tell the kidnapped his brother's name just about made me fall on the floor! I found this movie entertaining throughout. It had a few gory moments but they added to the story. The music certainly added to the suspense. I would definitely recommend this for a rainy afternoon.
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Bloody good fun!
asda-man28 July 2013
The Cottage always appealed to me. I saw that it was a British horror-comedy and no one does horror-comedy quite like us Brits, given the track record of greats such as, Severance and Shaun of the Dead. It also stars Reece Shearsmith whom I have loved from the wonderful TV series, Psychoville and it's a slasher! What's not to like? Why, from the looks of the reviews it looked like there was a lot not to like, so I held off from buying it for a while. However, when I saw it for a couple of quid in a wonderfully cheap DVD shop in Blackpool I thought that there was nothing to lose. There wasn't. Whilst it doesn't quite reach the heights of the horror-comedy genius from Shaun of the Dead or Severance, I think I could safely say that it's as good as the under-rated zomedy, Cockneys Vs Zombies.

The Cottage has a great set-up with two bumbling brothers, shoddily staging a kidnapping with feisty Jennifer Ellison. I thought that it was a much more original set-up for a slasher, rather than the tired old kids going on holiday to abandoned cottage. In fact, the slasher element doesn't entirely come into play until about halfway in, but there's no need to worry because like Severance, the 'non-horror half' is by no means less entertaining. It's full of funny banter and fantastic characters who you'll feel sad to see go. I especially enjoyed Reece Shearsmith's cowardly idiot and Steven O' Donnell's even bigger idiot who has some seriously funny lines to say. Doug Bradley's came could've been better, but it's fantastic that he's in it.

Things do get especially interesting when a deformed serial-killing farmer is hilariously introduced out of nowhere. I think most films would benefit from a character like this appearing halfway through. This is an obvious pastiche from those wonderful 80's slasher films where a deformed lunatic bumps everyone off. In fact, The Cottage has a great 80's horror vibe throughout which I enjoyed immensely and so should every other horror fan. To top it off the death scenes a humorously over-the-top and great fun. But the reason this slasher works so well is because of its great characters and incredibly witty screenplay. A lot of people say that the humour doesn't work, but for me it did. Although predictable at times, it was still directed with energy to ensure ceasing any dull moments.

Yes the quote on the back of the DVD saying that it's the horror event of 2008 is way over the top, considering that 2008 is the year that graced Eden Lake, Let the Right One In and Martyrs to the screen (all three in my top 10 horror films of all time). Nevertheless, The Cottage is way better than you'd expect, given the unfair criticism the film gets. It's a fun, fast, funny and often thrilling ride that can be watched over and over again. I think that it's even a little bit better than Hatchet!
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Great British Horror Flick a Gem!
80sHorror22 February 2015
This is a surprisingly entertaining film. It shows what a bunch of good actors and producers can do on a budget. Nowhere near as gory as some and the plot has been done to death a thousand times but when the gore comes it is really surprisingly well done and will make you jump out of your skin at times. Well worth the money and one to watch more than once. Miss Ellison is a delight. Hilarious Comedy mixed with blood & gore, I think the cast must have had a real job to keep a straight face during filming, especially the scene with David and the bumbling idiot character, Andrew. (re the bottle opener, and the balaclava).... What comedy genius!

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Good fun black comedy. Well worth a look.
laymonite-225 May 2008
Firstly, I found the publicity around this film very misleading. It suggested it was the 'best British horror film in xxxx years'- OK that's a common hyperbole, but the reviewers comments in daily newspapers suggest they hadn't actually seen the film. 'Inept kidnappers find they are in The Cottage of a deranged serial killer'...

This film had plenty of laugh out loud moments and far more sharp comedy than you'd expect in a low budget horror comedy. Serkis and especially Shearsmith really put in performances that make the film worth seeing. The humour is appropriately very much in the League of Gentlemen vein.

Ellison of course looks fantastic and her relatively brief performance is highly entertaining as a foul mouthed evil chav! Don't expect anything more than a low budget horror film that'll make you laugh and you'll be happy.
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A great film for a night in!
Just_little_Ellie12 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
As someone who is technically a blood/gore film virgin, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Simple enough story - two warring brothers (Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith) kidnap the mouthy, attitude-ridden daughter(Jennifer Ellison) of a dodgy gangster nightclub owner and demand a ransom in order to strike it rich. Her stepbrother (Steven O'Donnell) is also in on the plan. But to their misfortune things take a downward turn when said mouthy daughter (totally unbelievably) escapes and trudges off into the night with Shearsmith's pacifistic character in tow as her own hostage.

The two stumble upon a farmhouse which doubles as the lair for a psychotic killer simply known as "The Farmer". And murder literally ensues from there on and the brothers find themselves thrown back together in a fight for survival.

The gem of this film mainly comes from the character setup which is in full swing the moment Serkis and Shearsmith appear on screen. You're privy to their terse relationship and individual quirks (which are seen visually later in the film and are hysterical!). So later when slash, mangle and chop occurs, you feel it and for them and want them to get out of there alive.

The performances by Andy and Reece are riveting too. Reece sweeps through the film with brilliant comic timing and very detailed characterisation and is simply wonderful. He was the sole reason for me (as a TLoG fan) going to see the film and he did not disappoint me :) Andy is perfect as the hardened and cynical straight man, coming across very volatile and stressed when things go wrong. There is a near homage to "Now, Voyager" - with Reece seeming to light up a cigarette for himself but instead he passes it to Andy before lighting another one. Volumes are spoken about the two brothers in that one moment. The two Chinese hit men are brilliant too and pretty funny - they refer to Reece's character as "one bald f**k" which had me in stitches. In Jennifer's case I thought she was OK the first time round but when I saw it again her character just really got on my nerves and frankly when she is silenced it's a bloody relief! This film is definitely worth seeing - a funny yet touching horror-fest.
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