In a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks ...
See full summary »
When Chloe (Kristen Dalton) and Michael Carpenter rent out the cottage behind their house to charming romance novelist, Robert Mars (David Arquette) their American dream soon turns into a suburban nightmare.
In a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks loose.Written by
The man with the dog who speaks to David when he goes to the village telephone Is Doug Bradley, better known as 'Pin-Head' In the Hellraiser film franchise. See more »
When David returns from the Public telephone In the village the Alarm Is blaring out and lights flashing on one of the cars. David runs Into the house with the alarm still sounding but a few seconds later the alarm mysteriously switches Itself off. See more »
[as his brother takes his time crawling over to him]
Hurry up for fuck's sake
[holding the farmer at bay by threatening to destroy his photos]
Mad... mad... mad bastard... you stay there or she
[a photo of the farmer's wife]
See more »
Stay till the very end of the credits for an additional scene. See more »
"The Cottage" embraces convention, and for the most part, it works.
"The Cottage" is really two movies.
One part is a fairly generic but slightly amusing crime-story involving the kidnapping of a voluptuous, foul-mouthed blonde by two brothers. One is a seasoned criminal, while the other is an amateur at best, thus, situational comedy ensues. They take shelter in an abandoned cottage where their hostage gives them a run for their money – literally – and swears up a storm. While this half of the film wants to belong in the same company as "Shaun Of The Dead," it can't, because it's not clever enough and is far too saturated in clichés. Despite some strong performances, the characters are merely stereotypes. It's not the fault of the actors that their characters aren't convincing, though, because in reality, they were written and possibly intended as cardboard cut-outs, meant to service the second half.
Despite a rocky set-up, we get to the second part, a gut-bustingly fun homage to slasher films that would make the likes of Peter Jackson and Sam Raimi proud. When our criminals and guest cross paths with a deformed neighbor, madness ensues. Why no film has been brilliant enough to give its villain a shovel as weapon of choice is beyond me, as the red stuff is spilled in ways that are both shocking and hilarious. Truly, this is where the meat of the flick is. Despite the lack of depth in both story and characters, "The Cottage" does manage to serve up a nice, enjoyable dish of slasher casserole that pays tribute to its influences with some truly inventive slicing and dicing. To be honest, the film would be far more effective if it had played this hand early on, instead of setting up a routine, by-the-numbers premise, but in the end, it'll win you over by its unique "anything-goes" approach to somewhat tired material. It's hardly reinventing the wheel, and is not a flick everyone in the room will appreciate, but as a way to kill 90 minutes, you could do much worse.
7 of 9 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?
| Report this