Edit
How I Met Your Mother (TV Series 2005–2014) Poster

(2005–2014)

Quotes

Showing all 34 items

Barney: Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro-I'm Broda!

316 of 317 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: It's gonna be legen... wait for it... dary!

508 of 512 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: Haaaaave you met Ted?

419 of 424 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: It's gonna be legend-... wait for it... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!

440 of 446 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Ted: So, who are we picking up?

Barney: I dunno... her? Or maybe her...

Ted: Wait, so when you said we were going to pick someone up at the airport, you meant we were going to *pick someone up* at the airport?

Barney: Yeah...

Ted: You're kidding!

Barney: False!

127 of 127 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: Suit up!

410 of 416 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: Ted, tonight we're gonna go out. We're gonna meet some ladies, it's gonna be *legendary*. Phone-five!

[slaps cell-phone]

Barney: You didn't phone-five, did you?

[pause]

Barney: I know when you don't phone-five Ted.

209 of 211 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Lily: [Lily sees Barney hitting on Claudia] Oh, hell. No!

[grabs Barney by the ear and yanks him away from Claudia]

Lily: Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard until your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes.

Barney: [confused] Wait... my eyes? Or my testicles?

Lily: [pause, thinks about it] One of each!

157 of 158 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

[repeated line]

Barney: Challenge accepted!

316 of 321 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Ted: I'm gonna do what that guy couldn't, I'm gonna take the plunge... Well, I guess that's not a perfect metaphor since... for me it's falling in love and for him it's... death.

Barney: Actually, that is a perfect metaphor.

96 of 96 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

[repeated line]

Ranjit: Hello!

250 of 254 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Marshall: I'm not a gay pirate, I have sex with my parrot all the time!

[there is an awkward silence]

Marshall: OK, that came out wrong.

129 of 130 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Ted: You're not... Moby, are you?

Not Moby: Who?

Ted: The recording artist, Moby.

Not Moby: Oh, no.

Ted: Then why, when we said "Hey, Moby" did you come over here?

Not Moby: Oh, I thought you said Tony.

Ted: So your name's Tony?

Not Moby: No.

216 of 220 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: It's going to be legendary!

Ted: Don't say that! You're too liberal with the word "legendary".

[flashback to Barney standing at Ted's door in snow gear with a shovel]

Barney: We're building an igloo in Central Park! It's going to be legendary! Snow-suit up!

71 of 71 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: Moist.

[repeated during Barney's play to get back at Lily]

101 of 102 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: Ted, your problem is all you do is think, think, think. I'm teaching you how to do, do, do.

Marshall: Doo-doo!

[laughs]

Barney: [chuckles] Totally.

120 of 122 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Marshall: I think we're going to wait on the baby thing. I mean I love babies. Babies rule. Pudgy arms and stuff. But, uh, they make you old. Kinda like this anchor weighing you down to one spot... forever.

Claire: I'm three months pregnant.

Marshall: [surprised] Not awkward, guys. Not awkward if we don't let it be awkward.

[nervously smiles, then walks away]

54 of 54 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Ted: Hey Barney, see that girl?

Barney: Ohhh yeah, you just know she likes it dirty!

97 of 100 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

[repeated line]

Lily: You son of a bitch!

230 of 242 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

[repeated line]

Ted: [whenever Marshall and Lily talk about having sex] Please don't.

96 of 99 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Ted: Can we maybe scoop stuffing for a while?

Barney: You wanna scoop stuffing on your first day?

[sarcastically makes phone with his hands and holds it to his ear]

Barney: Hello, NFL, can I be quarterback next Sunday?

53 of 54 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Lily: Hey, nice shirt, Ted. Is it yesterday already?

54 of 56 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

[repeated line throughout season 9]

Barney: Ring bear

Robin Scherbatsky: Ring bear-er

40 of 41 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: What's that? Self five? Nice! We out!

56 of 59 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

[repeated line]

Marshall: Lawyered!

46 of 48 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

[repeated line throughout season 9]

Lily: [Being handed a drink at the Farhampton Inn] Thank you, Linus.

75 of 81 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Lily: You're playing hockey. With a basketball... and tennis rackets?

Marshall: It's BaskIceball, the greatest game ever. We invented it. it's Awesome!

Lily: Wait, BaskIceball? shouldn't it be Iceketball?

Marvin Eriksen Sr.: Ice... Ket... ball? that just sounds weird.

Marcus Eriksen: The game is BaskIceball. And I'm the best.

Lily: Well, maybe that's just cause you haven't seen *me* play.

[Lily throws the basketball to Marcus who throws it back to Marshall]

Marshall: Well, it's not exactly a sport for girls.

Lily: Well, that's funny cause your brother throws like a girl!

[Lily throws the ball back to Marcus]

Lily: [Marcus throws the ball hard and hits Lily in the face]

44 of 49 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: What's that left hand? Right hand suck? Word!

29 of 32 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

[repeated line]

Ranjit: Pulling over

22 of 24 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Ted: At least someone appreciates the fact that I am doing and not thinking.

[pause]

Ted: And now, I don't think I won't not go to the bathroom.

31 of 35 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: Elbert "Ickey" Woods, the Bengals were fools to cut you in '91. Your 1,525 rushing yards and 27 touchdowns will not be forgotten. So, Coach Dave Shula, screw you and your crappy steakhouse!

30 of 35 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: Was that chick at the end really a client?

20 of 26 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: True Story!

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Barney: i request the highest of five!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page


Recently Viewed