- Jocelyn: [holding up two belts] It's a tough call. They're so different.
- [Andy snickers; everyone in the room stops and stares at her]
- Miranda Priestly: Something funny?
- Andy Sachs: No... No, no, nothing's... you know, it's just... both those belts look exactly the same to me. You know, I'm still learning about this stuff and, uh...
- Miranda Priestly: "This stuff"? Oh. Okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select, I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean. And you're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent, wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets?
- [turns to an outfit she is styling]
- Miranda Priestly: I think we need a jacket here.
- [Nigel nods, leaves the room]
- Miranda Priestly: And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. And then it, uh, filtered down through the department stores, and then trickled on down into some tragic Casual Corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs. And it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room... from a pile of "stuff".
- Emily: Andrea, my God! You look so chic.
- Andy Sachs: Oh, thanks. You look so thin.
- Emily: Really? It's for Paris, I'm on this new diet. Well, I don't eat anything and when I feel like I'm about to faint I eat a cube of cheese. I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.
- Miranda Priestly: You thought I didn't know. I've known what was happening for quite some time. It just took me a little while to find a suitable alternative for Jacqueline. And that James Holt job was just so absurdly overpaid that of course she jumped at it. So I just had to tell Irv that Jacqueline was unavailable. Truth is, there's no one that can do what I do. Including her. Any of the other choices would have found that job impossible and the magazine would have suffered. Especially because of the list. The list of designers, photographers, editors, writers, models, all of whom were found by me, nurtured by me and have promised me they will follow me whenever and if ever I choose to leave Runway. So he reconsidered. But I was very very impressed by how intently you tried to warn me. I never thought I would say this, Andrea, but I really, I see a great deal of myself in you. You can see beyond what people want, and what they need and you can choose for yourself.
- Andy Sachs: I don't think I'm like that. I couldn't do what you did to Nigel, Miranda. I couldn't do something like that.
- Miranda Priestly: You already did. To Emily.
- Andy Sachs: That's not what I... no, that was different. I didn't have a choice.
- Miranda Priestly: No, no, you chose. You chose to get ahead. You want this life. Those choices are necessary.
- Andy Sachs: But what if this isn't what I want? I mean what if I don't wanna live the way you live?
- Miranda Priestly: Oh, don't be ridiculous. Andrea. Everybody wants this. Everybody wants to be us.
- Andy Sachs: Learned a lot. In the end though, I kind of screwed it up.
- Editor: I called over there for a reference, left word with some snooty girl. Next thing you know, I got a fax from Miranda Priestly herself... saying that of all the assistants she's ever had... you were, by far, her biggest disappointment. And, if I don't hire you, I am an idiot. You must have done something right.
- Andy Sachs: [on phone] Hello Miranda?
- Miranda Priestly: [on the phone from Miami] My flight has been cancelled. It's some absurd weather problem.
- [a hurricane]
- Miranda Priestly: I need to get home tonight.
- [New York]
- Miranda Priestly: The twins have a recital tomorrow morning at school.
- Andy Sachs: What?
- Miranda Priestly: AT SCHOOL!
- Andy Sachs: Absolutely. Let me see what I can do.
- Miranda Priestly: Good.
- [hangs up on her]
- Andy Sachs: [answering the phone few minutes later] Miranda, hi, I'm trying to get you a flight but no one is flying out because of the weather.
- Miranda Priestly: Oh, please... it's just- I don't know- drizzling.
- [Background in Miami shows a huge storm and smashing thunder]
- Miranda Priestly: Someone must be getting out. Call Donatella. Get her jet. Call everybody else that we know that has a jet - Irv? Call every - this is your responsibi - THIS IS YOUR JOB! Get. Me. HOME!
- [hangs up on her]
- Andy Sachs: Oh my God! She's going to murder me.
- Richard Sachs: What does she want you to do, call the National Guard and have her airlifted out of there?
- Andy Sachs: Of course not!
- Andy Sachs: Could I do that?
- Andy Sachs: She hates me, Nigel.
- Nigel: And that's my problem because... Oh, wait. No, it's not my problem.
- Andy Sachs: I don't know what else I can do because if I do something right, it's unacknowledged. She doesn't even say thank you. But if I do something wrong, she is vicious.
- Nigel: So quit.
- Andy Sachs: What?
- Nigel: Quit.
- Andy Sachs: Quit?
- Nigel: I can get another girl to take your job in five minutes... one who really wants it.
- Andy Sachs: No, I don't want to quit. That's not fair. But, I, you know, I'm just saying that I would just like a little credit... for the fact that I'm killing myself trying.
- Nigel: Andy, be serious. You are not trying. You are whining. What is it that you want me to say to you, huh? Do you want me to say, "Poor you. Miranda's picking on you. Poor you. Poor Andy"? Hmm? Wake up, six. She's just doing her job. Don't you know that you are working at the place that published some of the greatest artists of the century? Halston, Lagerfeld, de la Renta. And what they did, what they created was greater than art because you live your life in it. Well, not you, obviously, but some people. You think this is just a magazine, hmm? This is not just a magazine. This is a shining beacon of hope for... oh, I don't know... let's say a young boy growing up in Rhode Island with six brothers, pretending to go to soccer practice when he was really going to sewing class and reading Runway under the covers at night with a flashlight. You have no idea how many legends have walked these halls. And what's worse, you don't care. Because this place, where so many people would die to work, you only deign to work. And you want to know why she doesn't kiss you on the forehead and give you a gold star on your homework at the end of the day. Wake up, sweetheart.
- Miranda Priestly: I need 10 or 15 skirts from Calvin Klein...
- Andy Sachs: What kind of skirts?
- Miranda Priestly: ...please bore someone else with your... questions.
- Andy Sachs: [panicking over getting the Harry Potter manuscript] Is she back? Am I fired?
- Emily: You know, I rarely say this to people who... aren't me, but you have got to calm down! Bloody hell...
- Miranda Priestly: ...You have no sense of fashion...
- Andy Sachs: I think that depends on...
- Miranda Priestly: No, no, that wasn't a question.
- Nigel: [Miranda has moved up a meeting] But we're not expected until Tuesday. Did she say why?
- Andy Sachs: Yes. She explained every detail of her decision-making. And then we brushed each others' hair and gabbed about American Idol.
- Nigel: I see your point.
- Miranda Priestly: Do you know why I hired you? I always hire the same girl - stylish, slender, of course... worships the magazine. But so often, they turn out to be - I don't know - disappointing and, um... stupid. So you, with that impressive résumé and the big speech about your so-called work ethic - I, um - I thought you would be different. I said to myself, go ahead. Take a chance. Hire the smart, fat girl. I had hope. My God. I live on it. Anyway, you ended up disappointing me more than, um - more than any of the other silly girls.
- Nigel: There's a scale. One nod is good, two nods is very good. There's only be one actual smile on record and that was Tom Ford in 2001. If she doesn't like it she shakes her head. Then of course there's the pursing of the lips.
- Andy Sachs: Which means?
- Nigel: Catastrophe.
- Andy Sachs: So none of the girls here eat anything?
- Nigel: Not since two became new four and zero became the new two.
- Andy Sachs: Well, I'm a six...
- Nigel: Which is the new fourteen.
- Emily: I'm sorry, do you have some prior commitment? Some hideous skirt convention you have to go to?
- Andy Sachs: [thinking she is about to be fired] Miranda, about last night. I'm...
- Miranda Priestly: I need the new Harry Potter book for the twins.
- Andy Sachs: [relieved] Okay. Okay. I'll go down to Barnes and Noble right now.
- Miranda Priestly: [rolling her eyes] Did you fall down and smack your little head on the pavement?
- Andy Sachs: Not that I can recall.
- Miranda Priestly: We have all the published Harry Potter books. The twins want to know what happens next.
- Andy Sachs: [realizing with dread] You want the unpublished manuscript.
- Miranda Priestly: [baiting] Well, we know everyone in publishing, so it shouldn't be a problem, should it? And you can do anything. Right?
- Emily: [to Andy] You sold your soul to the devil when you put on your first pair of Jimmy Choos, I saw it.
- [Andy is on the phone taking a message]
- Andy Sachs: Can you please spell 'Gabbana'?
- [person on the other line hangs up]
- Andy Sachs: Guess not...
- Miranda Priestly: I don't understand why it's so difficult to confirm an appointment.
- Emily: I know. I'm so sorry, Miranda. I actually did confirm last night.
- Miranda Priestly: Details of your incompetence do not interest me. Tell Simone I'm not going to approve that girl that she sent me for the Brazilian layout. I asked for clean, athletic, smiling. She sent me dirty, tired and paunchy. And R.S.V.P. yes to Michael Kors' party, I want the driver to drop me off at 9:30 and pick me up at 9:45 sharp. Call Natalie at Glorious Foods and tell her no for the 40th time. No! I don't want dacquoise. I want tortes filled with warm rhubarb compote. Then call my ex-husband and remind him that the parent-teacher conference is at Dalton tonight. Then call my husband, ask him to meet me for dinner at that place I went to with Massimo. Tell Richard I saw the pictures that he sent for that feature on the female paratroopers and they're all so deeply unattractive. Is it impossible to find a lovely, slender, female paratrooper? Am I reaching for the stars here? Not really. Also, I need to see all the things that Nigel has pulled for Gwyneth's second cover try. I wonder if she's lost any of that weight yet.
- [seeing Andy]
- Miranda Priestly: Who is that?
- Nigel: I don't know what you expect me to do. There's nothing in this whole closet that'll fit a size six. I can guarantee you. These are all sample sizes - two and four. All right. We're doing this for you. And...
- Andy Sachs: A poncho?
- Nigel: You'll take what I give you and you'll like it. We're doing this Dolce for you. And shoes. Jimmy Choos. Manolo Blahnik. Nancy Gonzalez. Love that. Okay, Narciso Rodriguez. This we love. Uh, it might fit. It might.
- Andy Sachs: What?
- Nigel: Okay. Now, Chanel. You're in desperate need of Chanel. Darling, shall we? We have to get to the beauty department, and God knows how long that's going to take.
- Emily: You went upstairs? You went upstairs. Oh my God. Why didn't you just crawl into bed with her and ask for a bedtime story?
- [at the "Urban Jungle" fashion shoot, talking to Andy]
- Nigel: Excuse me, can we adjust the attitude? Don't make me feed you to one of the models.
- Nigel: [talking about Andy] Who is that *sad* little person? Are we doing a before-and-after piece I don't know about?
- Nigel: You bet your size 6 ass!
- Andy Sachs: [whispers back gleefully] Size... 4.
- [they high-five each other]
- [rushing out the door to accomplish an impossible task for Miranda]
- Andy Sachs: Wish me luck!
- Emily: No. Shan't.
- Andy Sachs: [seeing Nigel with a black gown] I love that! Will that fit me?
- Nigel: A little Crisco and some fishing wire and we'll be in business.
- Nigel: [Nigel holds up a pair of fashionable high heels] I guessed an 8 and a half.
- Andy Sachs: I don't need those. Miranda hired me. She knows what I look like.
- Nigel: Do you?
- Emily: When I am not here... Andrea, you are chained to that desk!
- Andy Sachs: But what if I have to...
- Emily: What? No! Nothing! One time an assistant left the desk. Oh, because she sliced her hand open with a letter opener, and Miranda missed Lagerfeld just before he was about to board a 17 hour flight to Austrailia. She now works at TV Guide.
- Andy Sachs: Man the desk at all times. Got it.
- Andy Sachs: [talking about Miranda's husband] Oh. So I don't need to fetch Stephen from the airport tomorrow?
- Miranda Priestly: Well, if you speak to him and he decides to rethink the divorce, then yes, fetch away. You are very fetching. So, go fetch.
- Nigel: Come on. Miranda's pushed the run through up a half hour. And she's always 15 minutes early.
- Andy Sachs: Which means?
- Nigel: You're already late.
- Nate: [as Andy takes a call from Miranda] You know, in case you were wondering - the person whose calls you always take? That's the relationship you're in. I hope you two are very happy together.
- Jocelyn: [at a board meeting over the April issue] Well... they're showing a lot of florals right now, so I was thinking...
- Miranda Priestly: Florals? For spring? Ground breaking.
- Nigel: [to Andy, who is buying lunch] Corn chowder. That's an interesting choice. You do know that cellulite is one of the main ingredients in corn chowder.
- Emily: Oh my God. No, no, no!
- Andy Sachs: What's wrong?
- Emily: [on telephone] She's on her way. Tell everyone.
- Nigel: Tsk. She's not supposed to be here until nine.
- Emily: Her driver just text messaged and her facialist ruptured a disc. God, these people.
- Nigel: [points at Andy and mouths] Who's that?
- Emily: That, I can't even talk about.
- Nigel: [opens the door] Alright everyone, gird your loins!
- [as he's leaving]
- Nigel: Did someone eat an onion bagel?
- Andy Sachs: [looks slightly embarrased, starts smelling her breath]
- Emily: Okay, so I was Miranda's second assistant. But her first assistant recently got promoted, and so now, I'm the first.
- Andy Sachs: Oh, and you're replacing yourself.
- Andy Sachs: What if I don't want this?
- Miranda Priestly: Oh, don't be silly - EVERYONE wants this. Everyone wants to be *us*.
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