Independent, low budget movies are my favorites. Movies about characters more than what they do are my favorites. Gritty movies set in gritty locations are my favorites. Movies in which almost nothing happens are my favorites. Movies filmed in New York are my favorites because New York is my home and my favorite place on earth. So I had great expectations for Choking Man, because it looked like it had nearly everything I love most in a movie. Man, was I disappointed!
This is a phony, manipulative and unrelentingly annoying movie. It's as phony, manipulative and unrelentingly annoying as a 1980s sitcom with a too-loud laugh track. Every character is a caricature: the dumb immigrant is EXTREMELY dumb; the old, brassy, heart-of-gold waitress is EXTREMELY brassy and gold-hearted; the gruff diner owner with a heart of gold is EXTREMELY gruff and gold-hearted; the obnoxious Irish bully is EXTREMELY obnoxious; the sweet Chinese girl is so sweet she made my teeth hurt. There is not one believable human being in the whole cast. I hated this movie.
People who go on and on about how great this movie is must love American television, because that's exactly where this movie belongs, as a TV movie on the Hallmark Channel or Lifeline or even on NBC or ABC or Fox. It takes all the things that can make a movie great and cheapens and twists them into a revolting, irritating glob of phony, rigged, forced emotionalism. This is no quirky, gritty, unconventional independent masterpiece. It is as predictable and conventional and crummy and corny and irritating as an episode of The Waltons.
