Locusts

(This post contains spoilers, so don't scroll down too far too quickly if you don't want to know what happens) I, being a huge Lucy Lawless fan, could not wait to see this movie. My dad and I sat through the entire 2 hours, which feels more like 4, the entire time thinking and saying "This is so unbelievable..!!", at one point my dad even said that she (Lucy Lawless) must have owed someone a favor..That's how surprised we were that she would be doing something like this. The plot is hard to believe (This coming from someone who couldn't believe more strongly in suspension of disbelief) and it seems the characters overreact, getting the government involved so early on? Their first result using nerve gas that was originally for the war in Iraq? I tried so hard to like this movie, but the final straw was..**SPOILER SPOILER**

When the man who created the locusts is helping Maddy get fuel for their solution, and is KILLED by the locusts..Now, I could see if he staggered in COVERED by them and bleeding to death barely able to walk, but he appeared to only have a swollen eye and cuts on his face. Granted his face was beaten up, I didn't think that an injury like that could kill someone...All in all the only reason to watch this movie would be to see Lucy. She is an incredible actress, but sadly, even she could not save this movie.

I only watched this because I was curious to see Lucy Lawless do something besides Xena. I always thought she was a good actress, but it's hard to tell when none of the lines are worth speaking.

I did not watch this for very long. It just had that, cheap, inept movie quality to it. The dialog was bad. It had these painful soap opera scenes between Lawless and her husband, or boyfriend, or whatever he was. I would get a bit nervous when I knew the bugs were about to attack, because it just seems icky, but the bug scenes I saw were notable for how completely unscary they were.

I might have watched a bit more of this if I were a bigger fan of creepy crawlies. I'm not big on bugs, and while I'll watch a decent bug movie like Arachnophia I will not suffer through a bad bug movie.

It's really very sad. Lawless was the star of a hit show and Heard has been in tons of major movies and here they are in a movie apparently made by a high school student of below-average intelligence. What a shame.

Oh my, oh my, oh my. Awful doesn't even begin to describe this moronic waste of time. This movie is really just an incessant cell phone ringing and someone picking it up looking harried and worried. Yet another reason to hate technology--infesting the movies now with cell phones to eat up the scenery. Wow, kept me riveted! This blech of a movie is pathetic and I'm a huge fan of science fiction. This doesn't exactly harken back to the good old sci-fi/B movies of the past--it is insulting and a grind to watch. I was hoping the locusts would eat everyone and start with the people with cell phones parked at their heads.

I gave this movie 7 out of ten stars, only because of the performance of Lawless. The script wasn't the best to work with, but she is a professional, and managed to pull it off quite well.

Still, if your not a fan of Lawless, you'll probably not appreciate this movie. (Like I say, not the best script. But does anyone have any business expecting much from a made-for-TV movie?)

The first reviewer actually said that Hollywood needs to adopt a Xenaphobic(!) policy. As an adult, I know the difference between an actress and the character she portrays. It is unfortunate that some of the others who claim to be adults while reviewing work on this site do not.

Halfway into the 00's, it looks as if CBS is trying to bring back what was a regular event on broadcast TV in the 70's and 80's -- the totally lame low budget TV-movie.

While I don't watch movies or shows that are appalling to me (thus explaining why I watched "Locusts" rather than "Desperate Housewives"), I am entertained by pictures that I find ridiculous. I only caught the last half-hour of CBS' last hastily served pseudo-big event, "Spring Break Shark Attack," and only the young that hasn't seen "Jaws" didn't know what that movie was before seeing it. Whatta hoot. Like "SBSA", the scenes in "Locusts" are eminently predictable.

As my summary above indicates, I really do miss Mike, Joel, Servo and Crow cracking wise at the inanity of movies like "Locusts." Prime scenes for their barbs would have been (SPOILERS!): the opening one where the assistant, showing off for her bug-fearing boyfriend, goes into the chamber full of locusts without putting on a jumpsuit; the following scene with the semi-naked Lucy Lawless (sing the National Anthem again for us, Lucy!) cutting short what should have been a romantic interlude with her chiseled-torsoed boyfriend (played by the wooden Dylan Neal), who whines like a child about how her prestigious Washington position takes her from his bed; the school bus scene when the daughter of the locusts' breeder calls for her daddy; the meeting with the USDA and the Dept. of Homeland Security, in which Lawless briefs a panel wearing full dress uniforms while she is dressed in skin-tight jeans; the inevitable expression of remorse from the entomologist, prior to his bloody demise; the scene in the Pittsburgh office, with the b-day party being interrupted by a picture window full of bugs (plus the revelation that the office hunk is even wimpier than Lawless' bf); the scene in the chopper when Lawless declares she's hormonal due to her pregnancy, and just might kill everyone in the chopper if the DHS doesn't change its drastic plan; the climactic kiss that is interrupted by the buzzing of the swarm; and just about every scene in which people are warned about the locusts' pending arrival -- first, they're in denial; minutes later, they're running for their lives.

I gave this movie three stars for each of the three best things about "Locusts": the eye candy. Her Lawlessness herself, the "MILF"-ish Natalia Nogulich, and the birthday girl from the office, the sexy, magnetic, and buxom Azure Dawn, who, according to her IMDb page, is going to be in CBS' upcoming "Elvis" mini-series as "sequined actress." I can hardly wait!

Keep an eye out for Azure Dawn in the future. On second thought, keep both eyes out. You don't want to miss anything!