Pornucopia: Going Down in the Valley (TV Mini-Series 2004– ) Poster

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Fascinating look at The Biz
Ross Williams (rwilymz)1 February 2005
Watched the documentary series with my wife, who originally turned me on to its Real Sex original. What a wife! We get to see what porn stars are like when they aren't porning. Most of them are normal. They just like sex. A lot. They talk about the body parts involved and what they're doing as casually as others talk about an itch on their elbow.

The starlet we first meet, Katie Morgan, originally comes across as an airhead, but we see her in one of the later shows being interviewed and quizzed on a radio show, and she's not unintelligent. She still *sounds* like a ditz, but then we can't always help that.

The show tended to repeat some bits -- I was gonna say snatches but thought better of it -- quite often, and I think if I'd heard Ashlee or Bambi or whatever say "Finger lickin good" one more time it would have put me off porn forever, but mercifully they stopped in time.

Did you know that the female stars control who they will and will not, um, boink? Bet you didn't. Women veritably run the show. That's feminism! Did you know that Viagra® is the drug of choice in The Valley? We get to hear how porn stars balance love and relationships with porn acting: some embrace it; others go to female-only sex until they break up and marry someone else.

We get to see directors and crew commenting on the meal catering while in the background is obviously a money-shot being filmed. They musta been real hungry...

We get to see a few clips of Jenna Jameson, thankfully, and none of Ron Jeremy, also thankfully.

We get to see the movie camera change angles, and the actors stop and start their action. On cue. I could never accomplish that. Frankly, I'm in awe. Makes me appreciate what they do all the more. And wasn't that the point?
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2/10
A crime to make sex look so boring and uninteresting
Pro Jury19 August 2008
Warning: Spoilers
PART 1

Been writing reviews here since the first years IMDb went on line (my user name in the 1990's was NO GODS) and it is my hope that this will be the one review that everyone reads -- that this is the review that will change motion picture entertainment because, friends, there needs to be change.

PORNUCOPIA claims to represent the California-based American porn industry. Sadly, the American porn industry is an insult on human sexuality. American porn has done the impossible -- American porn makes sex look boring, uninteresting, and downright unwatchable.

PORNUCOPIA's biggest selling point is that it shows what happens behind-the-scenes as porn videos are made. For example, a naked adult actress is on camera acting out a sex scene and at the same time is seen glancing and peeking off in the distance at something out a view. What hot sexy thing is she looking at? We see that the actress is looking over at the food being put out by the company caterer who is late with lunch. The cast and crew will soon eat. Viewers are informed that the California porn industry provides jobs for thousands of food servers, cooks, carpenters, make-up artists and many other laborers.

Later we see, as a sex scene is in full swing, the PORNUCOPIA documentary camera swings over to the adult film's producer who is holding up a bowl of scallop potatoes from the lunch table. The producer samples it, and then begins to review the high carb side dish for the PORNUCOPIA cameras. What passion-filled times in the American porn world. Yeah, right.

Even without PORNUCOPIA's behind-the-scenes illustrations, it is evident that the men and women in front of American porn cameras really have no interest in sex -- American porn is all just an act -- a very limp act.

The typical American porn movie will have an excellent title -- often a title spoofing a major movie or something from the mainstream. But apart from the title, the rest of the production is an embarrassment to human sexuality. The title might be INVASION OF THE SEXY HIGH SCHOOL TEENAGERS, for example. First, sure as the day is long, every "teenager" in the movie, male or female, will be 35 years old, and we will be lucky if all of the "teenagers" are under 40. Second, every 35+ year old female body is going to be stuffed with painful, unnatural plastic breast implants. Petite actresses will have unnatural dented breasts stuffed with plastic tennis balls, while the big boned older ladies will have unnatural dented breasts stuffed with plastic candle pin bowling balls. Either way, why do breasts that have been stretched so much still have so many dents? And why do chests presumably stuffed with round balls so often end up looking like lumpy sponges?

To be continued...
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2/10
PORNUCOPIA Review -- Part Two
Pro Jury Two20 August 2008
Warning: Spoilers
PORNUCOPIA: My most important review -- Part 2

Let's not leave out the male actors. With their shaved male areas and waxed, hairless bodies, they look far too feminine, or at best look like molded androids rather than human males. Even with the male actors being 35 to 40 years old, credit must be given for them all having tip-top trim and fit bodies. Male American porn actors almost always have a thick full mane of hair and a six-pack of abs. You have to admire it when middle aged men can stay in such ideal shape (the 35-year-old actresses all have slim and trim bodies as well). However, points need to be subtracted from both actors and actresses when their middle aged bodies are tattooed and pierced with Amazon-sized hoop rings and punk spikes.

Let's now add together the ingredients (the fake chested females with the shaved and waxed males). In American porn, males and females technically do have sex, but they do it with as little physical contact with each other as possible. Not only do they not touch each other much, but 99.99% of the time they do not even look at each other. Other than the lunch table, the female's full and complete concentration and total awareness is focused on the camera lens. Her partner's important body part is obviously the last thing on her mind. And equally bad, during the act the male is very likely to bend into the camera's view, look into the lens, and make faces. Neither the man or woman ever lets their hair get messed up. Neither of them ever perspires. Arrgh! Call me old fashioned, but I always thought a basic element of sex is that there is an extreme interest towards a partner. An intense, acute, hyper interest in interacting with a partner as together both seek satisfaction. However, in American porn, there is very little touching and very little interaction between the performers. If the actor and actress are not sharing passion, then there is no passion to see.

In fact, both male and female adult film performers often have a "OK-what-do-I-do-now" look with slight hesitations in actions. Just as bad, in American porn the camera constantly moves around creating yet another distraction, and there is even greater distraction as zillions of dissolves are employed. And perhaps worst of all, 99.99% of the time American porn actors end every sex scene with zero physical contact with the female as the actor uses his own hand to masturbate. Every single time -- male hand masturbation. The whole concept is so thoroughly boring that it is offensive.

Contrast all this with movies of people having sex (not performing sex). Briefly described, in any country a simple locked down video camera points at two people having sex. The man appears to have not had companionship in a long time and hurriedly grabs, squeezes, pulls cloths, takes passionate kisses, and, consumed with lust, gets busy and does not stop until it is over. His full and complete attention is on his desirable partner. The woman's activity, always completely aware of her partner, directly satisfies. The woman looks to be a normal girl-next-door and not a bored middle-aged professional. The ending takes place inside the woman with both of them touching head-to-toe. Massive perspiration. Messed hair. Real sex.

I am not saying that plastic-filled 35 to 40-year-olds full-time professional actors who are completely dominating America's porn industry should never be employed. I am just saying that there should be variety, and the variety needs to include normal people who have sex for pleasure and lust, and whose hearts beat faster during sex than they do when the caterer serves a good potato salad for lunch.
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