Today You Die

The plot: A thief tries to go straight but is tricked into performing one last heist, which lands him in prison. After escaping, he recruits a sidekick and seeks his revenge.

There are just so many things wrong with Today You Die that it's the kind of movie where you just don't know where to even begin. To start with, the movie has trouble with even basic plot continuity. For example, the protagonist's wife is introduced as being psychic, having prophetic dreams, and visiting a tarot card reader. Throughout the the early part of the movie, this is an important element, but near the middle, it's completely abandoned. The movie is sloppy and lazy, but this is probably the sloppiest and laziest part of it.

Seagal seems to be pumping out as many crap movies as possible, to cash out on his fans before he retires. It's an insult to his fans, and he owes us an apology. Say what you will about Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme, but they would never abuse their fans like this.