Quotes

Four Brothers

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Bobby: [imitating a teenage girl] The popos is here! Ya'll better run, man, these white cops are crazy! They killed Cornbread! They killed him - he didn't do nothin'!

Lt. Green: You keep knocking on the devil's door long enough and sooner or later someone's gonna answer you.

Bobby: Lemme catch you on the street without that badge! I'll smack that smirk right off your face, you punk!

Angel: I gotta ask you a question. Me and Sofi did a lot of making up last night. It seems like a got a little rust on my tools down here
[opens his bathrobe]
Bobby: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ask the cockologist in the shower.
Jack: How the hell would I know?
Bobby: You're the expert.
Jack: [looks for a second] Rug burn.

Damian: Call me an ambulance.
Bobby: What? For my Dog bites? Nah, I'll be fine.

Camille Mercer: Bobby! You told me you weren't gonna let him get hurt!
Bobby: He breathin'.

Bobby: I wanna make a toast to Evelyn Mercer, the greatest mother four degenerate bastards ever had. Pour me and my brothers another round, and some nice warm milk for my little sister.
Jack: Man, I will drink you under the table.
Bobby: We're not talking about sperm, Jack, this is whiskey.

Bobby: I don't know how you did it for so many years, man. It must've driven you crazy, Angel. On a ship for, what, six months at a time with nothing but dudes
Angel: It wasn't a ship. And the marine's went co-ed, they got girls now.
Bobby: Yeah, I bet'cha those girls look like dudes too, though.
Angel: Not after six months they don't.

Jack: [chasing a kid down a hallway in a school] Hey, kid! No running in the halls!

[first lines]
Evelyn Mercer: Ok, Darnell, so the candy just happened to jump into your pocket, huh? Well I don't think so. Samir's going to call the police right now. Samir, the police!
Darnell: Please don't call the police, man, please!
Evelyn Mercer: That's what happens when you shoplift. There's consequences.
Darnell: But it's just some damn candy! I don't wanna go to jail!
Evelyn Mercer: Well you can probably get away with stealing sometimes, Darnell, but sooner or later you're gonna get caught. Is that the way you want to lead your life?
Darnell: No.
Evelyn Mercer: I happen to believe you're worth more. But you gotta believe it, Darnell.
Darnell: I hear you, Miss Evelyn.
Evelyn Mercer: Are you bullshitting me?
Darnell: No, Ma'am.
Evelyn Mercer: Well you better not be, you hear me?
Darnell: Yes, Ma'am.
Evelyn Mercer: Ok. Now you tell Samir.
Darnell: I won't steal anymore, sir.
Samir: Alright.
[hangs up the phone]
Evelyn Mercer: Boy, did you get lucky.

Bobby: He's your brother? Well, shit, these are my brothers.
Keenon: [looks around] No, no: he's my real brother
Bobby: Yeah, these are my real brothers. I'm Bobby, that's Angel, Jack and Jeremiah.

Angel: Cops are always welcome at the Mercer's. It makes us feel safe and cozy. Just the way we like it.

Sofi: Angel, can I ask you a question? What the hell is this?
[holds up some condoms]
Angel: Those are breathmints, baby!
Sofi: You know I'm allergic to latex! Who did you buy them for?
Angel: Put the coo coo back in the clock, baby, I bought them in Vegas way before I even knew I was coming here!

[about Jack]
Angel: I miss him too. We won't be able to bring him back, but we're going to send him some company.

[at Thanksgiving dinner, the brothers reminisce about Evelyn]
Evelyn Mercer: [to Jeremiah] Zip up your mouth Jeremiah. Did you grow up in a barn?
Jeremiah: [to Angel] Close your mouth, Angel. You think you a cow or somethin'?
Evelyn Mercer: [to Angel] More tattoos Angel?
[Angel pulls his sleeve down]
Evelyn Mercer: It's okay, you don't have to hide them. Look at mine!
Evelyn Mercer: [pulls sleeve back to reveal a rose, winks] But get your elbows off of the table.
Evelyn Mercer: [to Jack] Jackie. I know bad things happened to you before you came here Jackie, hey look at me!
[Jack looks at her]
Evelyn Mercer: But you're safe now.

Detective Fowler: If this woman's such a God-damned Saint, how did she end up raising four total fuck-ups?
Lt. Green: Miss Evelyn cycled hundreds of kids out of the foster program and into permanent homes. In 30 years she only came across four lost causes. Four delinquents so far gone she couldn't find anyone to take them in. So she did. Trust me, Fowler, these kids are congressmen compared to what they would've been

Bobby: [after Jack is shot] Jack! Jack, look at me! Jack, you all right? Hold on. We need an ambulance!
Angel: Somebody help! Call 911!
Bobby: Jack. Jack. Jack! Jack, please. Come on, man.
Sofi: I'm calling, I'm calling!
Bobby: Come on, Jack, you gotta breathe!
Sofi: [on the phone] We need an ambulance right now!
Bobby: Don't you die on me you little fairy. Come on, Jack. Please! You gotta fucking breathe! Come on!
Jack: [grunts and gasps, gives one last breath, and dies]
Bobby: [crying] Jack! Jack. Jack, come on, Jack, please! Please...
Angel: [whispers] Jack.

Bobby: What about me, Green? You gonna arrest me too?
Lt. Green: That depends, Bobby. You keeping strait?
Bobby: Strait-ish.

Bobby: Thanks for coming, Green. Ma would've been happy you made it to the service.
Lt. Green: Shit, your mom would've been happy you made it back for her funeral!
Bobby: I didn't come back for no funeral.

Bobby: I ain't playing no more. I'm gonna go in there and bust that melon...
Jack: Hey! His family's in there!
Angel: Bobby, you're gonna have to calm down.
Bobby: Oh, I'm calm. He think's I'm an idiot! He thinks I don't know what the fuck is going on!

Angel: It's a little heavy in here, I'm just gonna go outside and get a little air.
Bobby: You're full of shit, man. You can smell that ass from down the street, huh?
Angel: What are you talking about?
Bobby: What do you mean, what? You know exactly what we talking about with La Vida Loca.
Angel: Ain't nobody going to go get no La Vida Loca nothing!
Jeremiah: She's got a boyfriend.
Bobby: She's got a boyfriend, she's got hard dick in her right now. She screaming somebody else's name and the last thing she's doing is thinking about is your black ass.

Angel: You said something, didn't you, Jerry?
Jeremiah: I did not say nothing, man.
Angel: Why you always - ?
Bobby: I did.
Jeremiah: What you say?
Bobby: I told him I was banging his wife. Come on, man!
Angel: I did too.
Jeremiah: Me too.

Jack: So, shit, Bobby, what've you been up to?
Bobby: I'm a freakin' college professor, Jack, what do you think I've been doing.
Jack: I doubt that.
Bobby: What about you? You still sucking a little cock left and right, or what?
Jack: Fucker.

Jack: Haven't seen you in forever!
Angel: Yeah, I know.
Jack: Hey, did you get your teeth whitened?
Angel: Man, shut up Jackie-poo

[commentating as Jerry and Angel wrestle]
Bobby: Yeah, get him Jerry! The gorgeous black ladies of wrestling! Nitro and Midnight! Nitro's got Midnight in a headlock! Get him, Jerry! Midnight's trying to be up, but Nitro's on him!

Jack: You guys are coming up with this pretty quick.
Bobby: Yeah, we should've been cops.

Detective Fowler: It's not looking good for you, homeboy.
Angel: We'll see if they're still your boys after they find out you killed your partner Green, homeboy.
Detective Fowler: That's your angle, huh? You're gonna walk out there and tell them I killed Green? That's your story?
Angel: It has the advantage of being true.
Detective Fowler: So what? I killed my partner. I could kill the whole damn police department if you were the only witness. They'd probably just promote me to chief. You're one of the Mercer brothers. No cop in the world is going to believe your word over mine.
Angel: You know what, you're probably right. Other than the ones I got outside right now in a van, listening to every bit of our conversation.

Bobby: We got a blowout.
Jack: Bobby, let's just stop the car. Okay, Bobby, let's just stop.
Bobby: Shut up, Jack. Gonna ride this out on the rim.

Jack: [at funeral, giving eulogy] I never bothered looking for my real parents. Because Evelyn was enough. To go from foster house to foster house. Those people are just watching. Just looking for an extra...
[inaudible speech as Fowler's line comes in]
Jack: ... You were hardly given anything to eat. You learn to take what you can get. When Evelyn took me in, it was no different for me. Until she caught me with my pockets all full. And she tried to explain to me what it meant to be adopted, and what it meant to have a family, what it meant to have a last name... And she would say: "Jackie... there's no reason to steal your own toothbrush anymore." 'Cause I would, I would, I would take it, and I would put it in my sock drawer...

Bobby: [to Jack] Turn around, dick lips! What the fuck are you looking at?

Jack: Jack drinks Jack! Jack drink Jack!
[considering his name is Jack and he's Drinking Jack Daniels]
Jeremiah: Jackie is drunk!
Bobby: Jack likes ass crack and ballsack.
Jack: Jack doesn't like ass crack and ballsack! Jack likes boobs! Jack's got fans. Jack's got lots of fans.
Angel: Man, shut the hell up.

Jack: [meeting Jeremiah's daughters] Hey, you must be Daniela!
Bobby: [petting Amelia's costumed dog] and you must be Amelia! I like your dress...
Amelia Mercer: I'm Amelia!
Bobby: I know. You probably don't remember us, but I'm your Uncle Bobby, and this is Cracker Jack.
Jack: Man, don't teach them that.
Daniela Mercer: You can't be our uncles. You're white.
Amelia Mercer: Grandma Eva's white!
Bobby: That's right. You see, we're a different kind of uncle. Your grandma, she adopted me and your uncle Jack just like she adopted your daddy.

Bobby: She's so La Vida Loca.
Angel: Shut up Bobby, don't start with that! That's why you don't get a girlfriend.
Bobby: I get a girlfriend every fucking week. You know what I want a girlfriend like you.
Sofi: Callate!
Angel: Please don't go there. Can y'all please not go there.
Sofi: [in a whiny voice] Angel, you said this time was going to be different.
Bobby: Ai mami, you're breaking mi corazon, chica. She's getting real comfortable here. What are you doing? I thought you were a macho man, a tough guy. You know, it's a crying shame that Little Jack is the only one down to ride.

[Victor Sweet's first lines]
Victor Sweet: Out-of-town shooters. That's what I said. I remember hearing myself saying, "Out-of-town shooters." You know what? You don't pay a ho to fuck you. You pay her to leave. What you pay out-of-town shooters to do? You pay them to get the hell back out of town. That's why I asked for out-of-town shooters. What'd I get? In-town shooters. Someone decided to hire in-town shooters. You know what else I got for my money? In-town police. In-town trouble. Who's got to get in the ring with me on this?

[last lines]
Evelyn Mercer: Always so good to have you back home, son. You gonna stick around a little while this time?
Bobby: I'm thinkin' about it, Ma. I'm thinkin' about it.
Evelyn Mercer: [chuckling] Oh, Bobby.

Jeremiah: What's the plan, Bobby?
Bobby: We're wingin' it, Jerry.
Jeremiah: We're always wingin' it.
Jack: We're gonna get killed.
Angel: What'cha mean WE, white boy?

Bobby: [after crashing into a parked car while chasing the killers] Aw! Wrecked the whole side of my fucking car!
Jack: You gonna get these guys before you kill us?
Bobby: Sit back and put your fucking seatbelt on, Jack.

Jack: [leaving, after threatening to set a group of teens on fire] Thank you very much, I hope you all have a lovely evening!

Bobby: [to Evander] Angel tells me you're one of Victor Sweet's boys now. Hear he's running shit like his uncle, treating you like a house nigger.

Angel: [after interrogation officer punches Angel] I did it, okay! Is that what you want to hear? I did it!
Interrogation Officer: You did it, I wanna hear you say it! What did you do!
Angel: I was bumpin' uglies with your wife!
[Interrogation officer hits him again]

Bobby: [seeing Jack pissing on the floor] Look, look at your little brother.
Jeremiah: Jack!
Jack: Oh I'm sorry, is this the master suite?
[Angel, Bobby, and Jerimiah laugh]
Jack: Am I making the property value go down?

Lt. Green: [about Bobby Mercer] It's been a long time since anybody's seen that face around here.
Detective Fowler: Must've gotten off for good behavior.
Lt. Green: Not likely. That's Bobby Mercer. Heavyweight champion fuck-up of the family. And that's a well defended title. Would've made his daddy proud, if he'd ever had one. I used to know him a little. Played hockey with the boy. Got thrown outta 60 odd games before the league had finally had enough of him. They called him the Michigan Mauler.
Detective Fowler: Who's the kid?
Lt. Green: [chuckles] Oh, that's Jack. He's the youngest. First class fuck-up, third class rock star.
Detective Fowler: He doesn't look like trouble.
Lt. Green: He's a Mercer. Don't let him fool you.

Jeremiah: [lifts kids silver necklace] What is this? Aluminum?
Jack: Shit doesn't even spin.

Jeremiah: Evelyn was in this city for a long time. She saw a lot that was terrible, but she stayed hopeful. She still believed that things were getting better, sometimes despite all evidence. And that's a hard thing to do, stay hopeful. Even when you can't find a reason.

Jeremiah: Do you remember when I built that tree house and you burnt that shit down? Boy, I wanted to kick your ass!
Bobby: Don't worry, your house is brick, I ain't gonna burn it down.

Jeremiah: Mom always said, as bright as Bobby is, he just doesn't like to think.

Gang Leader: That shit was counterfit as a mother-fucker, man! Ain't nobody playing no basketball when that shit went down! Why you think the cops ain't arrest nobody?
Bobby: How do you know nobody was playing basketball if you weren't there?
Gang Leader: Because, bitch, the police said those people wasn't kill till 11 o'clock!
Bobby: So what?
Gang Leader: So they turn the court lights out at ten!

Jack: What do you think he found?
Bobby: I don't know, but it's something big.
Jack: How can you tell?
Bobby: By the sound of his voice. I know my brother.