Lauren Holly looks after Tom, a young man who suffered head trauma in a car accident as a teenager. As a brittle, unhappy recovering crack addict, she is the ideal candidate to care for Tom. She knows Tom's father is withholding money from her, so she goes to confront him - except he turns out to be Billy Zane, who isn't his father, but is a famous actor who can channel Marlon Brando! Yes, repeatedly rubbing your hand over your bald head counts as a performance.
Anyway, Billy tells her she can't have any money, so Lauren decides to kidnap Tom's twin sister Casey. She does what any competent kidnapper would and takes her to see Meat Loaf, who gives Lauren the details of a desert motel where she can go and the key to Room 2. That's Room 2. This may be significant. The motel is called, and I am not joking, The Big Cock Inn.
Meanwhile, in a storyline that is NOT CONNECTED IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER TO THE KIDNAPPING STORYLINE, Angus Macfadyen is an oddball psychology professor who is germ- obsessed, anally retentive and about to be kicked out by his wife. Did I mention he is anally retentive? This may be significant.
After his wife kicks him out because she is in love with another woman (edgy!), he wanders around a bit and then meets a young woman who pretends to be his student, then pretends to be seducing him, then says she is a sex addict, then says she is an escort (and has the documentation to prove it), then tries to have sex with him for free, then it turns out she's just a sad, scared girl who wants a better life. This woman is possibly the most ridiculous character ever to appear in a film. She is played, heartbreakingly, by Gretchen Wieners from Mean Girls.
Anyway they end up at - have you guessed? - The Big Cock Inn. In Room 2. The Big Cock Inn turns out to be the least appropriate place Angus could be. Gretchen gets very cross with him because his penis is small and doesn't work, and because he's - I cannot stress this enough - a total idiot. She leaves, but then for some reason she doesn't. This is bad news, because they're in Room 2, and the lesbian hitwoman Billy Zane sent after Lauren goes to their room! D'oh!! (Lesbians, again, are edgy.)
But rather than try to find the kidnapped Casey, the lesbian hitwoman - because lesbians are so edgy - takes her gun and puts it up Angus's bottom, again and again. Angus loves this; it makes him sing a song. He keeps singing for ages, just in case you thought this film wasn't ludicrous enough.
There's a big shootout and all the women (except Gretchen) are killed, because women deserve it, those bitches, except for the sex-addict prostitute ones because they have hearts of gold. Tom saves Gretchen and they head off to Portland, Maine, together because Tom always wanted to go there. Hooray!
Angus goes home and enters his lesbian (edgy!) wife's bedroom where she is lying with her lesbian (edgy!) lover. He is naked and has a gun, and that's the end. You never find out if Angus was going to shoot his wife or get him to penetrate him with the gun, because ambiguity is super-edgy, especially when it involves lesbians.
I highly recommend this edgy film.