- Russell: Check it out guy, he's the alpha male of the store... chicks always go after the alpha male, they're like lions... kings of the desert. And you, you're just a little tiny fieldmouse dangling in the teeth of the lion while he's banging your chick. Oh wait a minute... boxboy, you're like the little hairy nutsack on the little hairy fieldmouse swinging back and forth while he's banging your chick...
- Zack: [on radio] You're metaphors are magical, but shut the hell up! please?
- Russell: [on radio] Roger... just going back and forth hairy calahari style in and out with his big...
- Lon: Wow, that's gotta hurt. I mean, he's always doin' that to you. Stealing your thunder. You remember the red head? In gardening? Boinked her behind the monkey grass. And the asian in automotive? Did her on a pile of carburetors. Oh, and the blonde in frozen foods, with the... Doink! Doink! Turkeys done! Remember her?
- [Lon sticks his fingers out of his chest]
- [a grumpy lady struggles to load a casket onto a cart]
- Grumpy Lady: Damn! The thing's heavier than it looks.
- Zack: Hi, do you need some help with that?
- Grumpy Lady: Yes, thank you.
- [they get the casket into the cart]
- Grumpy Lady: It's for my husband.
- Zack: Oh, I'm sorry to hear about that.
- Grumpy Lady: Oh, he's not dead. Not yet. It's just too good a deal to pass up.
- Zack: Well, do you need some help getting it to your car?
- Grumpy Lady: No, thank you. The lazy prick's waiting for me. I'm gonna make him load it.
- Zack: Well, good luck murdering your husband.
- [the grumpy lady laughs]
- Zack: If you need my help, holler.
- [on her way out of the store, the grumpy lady addresses Dirk]
- Grumpy Lady: Excuse me.
- Dirk: Yes?
- Grumpy Lady: That young man is wonderful. I'll be back for sure, just because of him.
- Dirk: [looks at Vince] Oh, that man there? No surprise.
- Grumpy Lady: No.
- [the grumpy lady goes over to Zack]
- Grumpy Lady: This is the guy. He's a wonderful fella.
- Dirk: Well, thank you. May I help you find your way to your car?
- Grumpy Lady: I know where it is. Idiot.
- Russell: Oh yeah, that picture goes up on the wall she slides into the sack faster than a singed Koala bear looking for an all night burn center.
- [while Vince and Jorje are in Zack's house, changing all the clocks, his grandmother comes into the room. Jorge takes out a knife]
- Vince: What are you doing? There are no weapons in this mission. I will not do time for you. I will roll over on you.
- [after Vince is revealed to have been giving stuff away, he runs off. Semi tackles him to the ground]
- Vince: [writhes in pain] Now I know why they call you "Semi".
- [while Zack is recovering from running into a wooden pallet]
- Semi: And if you pass out, you call 911!
- Russell: Think about it guys, we could be working over there at Maxi-Mart and that place really sucks. Pass me the chips there, eight balls.
- [Iqbal passes a bulk size bag of chips]
- Lon: Plus, I hear they make you wear those house-arrest ankle bracelet things, so they know where you are all the time and if you leave the main floor, you get a little shocker.
- [Lon blows a party kazoo]
- Russell: True. I knew a guy in upper management, man, went crazy. Strapped one of those things around his hairy ballsack, ran out in the parking lot and blew a three dollar Hawaiian wonder cooler all over the place.
- Iqbal: Ids-kay, ids-kay.
- Russell: Knocked the little Korean kid right out of shopping basket.
- [Zack holds up a mop, preparing to go clean up a spill, when Vince appears out of a break room with a mop]
- Zack: You have got to be kidding MEEEEEEEEEEE!
- Glen Gary: [shouting harshly] Vince Downey, you are a disgrace to me and Super Club! I am not proud of you!