Employee of the Month (2006)
Dane Cook: Zack
Russell : Check it out guy, he's the alpha male of the store... chicks always go after the alpha male, they're like lions... kings of the desert. And you, you're just a little tiny fieldmouse dangling in the teeth of the lion while he's banging your chick. Oh wait a minute... boxboy, you're like the little hairy nutsack on the little hairy fieldmouse swinging back and forth while he's banging your chick...
Zack : [on radio] You're metaphors are magical, but shut the hell up! please?
Russell : [on radio] Roger... just going back and forth hairy calahari style in and out with his big...
[a grumpy lady struggles to load a casket onto a cart]
Grumpy Lady : Damn! The thing's heavier than it looks.
Zack : Hi, do you need some help with that?
Grumpy Lady : Yes, thank you.
[they get the casket into the cart]
Grumpy Lady : It's for my husband.
Zack : Oh, I'm sorry to hear about that.
Grumpy Lady : Oh, he's not dead. Not yet. It's just too good a deal to pass up.
Zack : Well, do you need some help getting it to your car?
Grumpy Lady : No, thank you. The lazy prick's waiting for me. I'm gonna make him load it.
Zack : Well, good luck murdering your husband.
[the grumpy lady laughs]
Zack : If you need my help, holler.
[on her way out of the store, the grumpy lady addresses Dirk]
Grumpy Lady : Excuse me.
Dirk : Yes?
Grumpy Lady : That young man is wonderful. I'll be back for sure, just because of him.
Dirk : [looks at Vince] Oh, that man there? No surprise.
Grumpy Lady : No.
[the grumpy lady goes over to Zack]
Grumpy Lady : This is the guy. He's a wonderful fella.
Dirk : Well, thank you. May I help you find your way to your car?
Grumpy Lady : I know where it is. Idiot.
[Zack holds up a mop, preparing to go clean up a spill, when Vince appears out of a break room with a mop]
Zack : You have got to be kidding MEEEEEEEEEEE!