| Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
| Joel David Moore | ... | Ben | |
| Amara Zaragoza | ... | Marybeth Dunstan (as Tamara Feldman) | |
| Deon Richmond | ... | Marcus | |
| Kane Hodder | ... | Victor Crowley / Mr. Crowley | |
| Mercedes McNab | ... | Misty | |
| Parry Shen | ... | Shawn | |
| Joel Murray | ... | Doug Shapiro | |
| Joleigh Fiore | ... | Jenna (as Joleigh Fioreavanti) | |
| Richard Riehle | ... | Jim Permatteo | |
| Patrika Darbo | ... | Shannon Permatteo | |
| Robert Englund | ... | Sampson | |
| Joshua Leonard | ... | Ainsley | |
| Tony Todd | ... | Reverend Zombie | |
| John Carl Buechler | ... | Jack Cracker (as John Buechler) | |
| Rileah Vanderbilt | ... | Young Victor Crowley | |
A motley crew of tourists embark on a boat ride of the haunted Louisiana bayous where they learn the terrifying tale of local legend "Victor Crowley," a horribly disfigured man who was accidentally killed with a hatchet by the hands of his own father. But when the boat sinks and the ghost story turns out to be real, the group tries desperately to escape the swamp with their lives . . . and all of their pieces. Written by Anonymous
Writing a review for Hatchet is almost pointless. Devotees of the horror genre will see this no matter what is written. In fact, a certain rhetorically named fan-boy website that prides itself on cool news has already lauded the movie's villain as the next horror icon. While I wouldn't be too sure about that, Hatchet does make one thing clear at least, and that's that writer/director Adam Green has undeniable talent.
Structured largely as a parody of the Friday the 13th films, Hatchet casts legendary Jason Voorhees stand-in Kane Hodder as Victor Crowley, the deformed son of a backwoods Louisiana bayou fisherman (also played by Hodder), who was presumed killed years earlier in a house fire started by a bunch of tormenting local kids.
Green follows the stock formula for such movies: take a bunch of folks, find an excuse to strand them in monster country, and let the audience revel in watching them get picked off one-by-one.
Where Green excels, however, is in his smartly written, comically-paced script that is chalk full of genuinely funny inside jokes that are blatant winks at the audience and along the way establish more of a bond with Sean of the Dead than Halloween.
In terms of horror movies, there's nothing going on here that is particularly inventive or even scary, but Green clearly isn't out to achieve that. Rather, he's paying homage to a genre that he grew up with, as is clear by the cameos he's given to icons Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street) and Tony Todd (Candyman and numerous others).
Bolstered by good acting, top notch production values, and intentionally rubbery costume effects, Hatchet panders to the fan-boy crowd in glorious revelry. Clearly Green knows his audience likes to sit back, kick the Fangoria magazines off the couch, and watch somebody take a belt sander in their kisser.
While I think labeling Victor Crowley as the next horror icon in the same vein as Jason, Michael Myers, and Freddy is complete preposterousness, saying Adam Green is someone to keep an eye on is a more realistic, and complimentary laurel.