Mr. Woodcock (2007) Poster


Seann William Scott: John Farley



  • John Farley : You have a father?

    Mr. Woodcock : Of course I have a father, Farley, I'm not Jesus.

  • John Farley : Lets go, Woodcock.

    Mr. Woodcock : You must like getting spanked, Farley. I guess it runs in the family.

  • John Farley : [quietly to Woodcock, as he seems stunned]  Are you okay?

    John Farley : [loudly]  RHETORICAL QUESTION, WOODCOCK!

    [slams him in the back with a chair] 

  • Mr. Woodcock : It's too late. She's made her mind up, Farley.

    John Farley : What? My mom's the best thing that's ever happened to you.

    Mr. Woodcock : One day you'll date girls and you'll understand. Once a woman makes her mind up... there's no changing it.

    John Farley : Oh, I get it. You're scared. Your last marriage fell apart because she was cheating on you. Again, and again, and again.

    Mr. Woodcock : The woman's a deviant, Farley. Who cares?

    John Farley : So you're scared of getting hurt again?

    Mr. Woodcock : Hey, spare me the self-help crap, OK? You're not a guru. You're a spoiled little kid who can't seem to let go of his momma's right tit.

    John Farley : Oh, yeah? Well, you're just a pussy with a whistle!

    Mr. Woodcock : Really? You cocky little shit. Do you actually think you're tougher than me?

    John Farley : Ooh. Any time, any place.

    Mr. Woodcock : Get the rentals, Farley.

  • John Farley : [mimmicking, mockingly]  "I'm known for my meat. I'm known for my meat." Actually, you're not known for your meat, Woodcock. You're known for emotionally crippling an entire generation of children. Dickhead!

  • Mr. Woodcock : I don't do 'Sorry'.

    John Farley : What?

    Mr. Woodcock : Sorry is for criminals and screw-ups... and I'm neither one.

  • John Farley : When you make a blame sandwich, you gotta be ready to eat it yourself.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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