Rapunzel: I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?
Flynn Rider: It will be.
Rapunzel: And what if it is? What do I do then?
Flynn Rider: Well, that's the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.
Rapunzel: [after leaving her tower; happily] I can't believe I did this!
Rapunzel: I can't believe I did this.
Rapunzel: I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THIS!
Rapunzel: ... Mother would be so furious.
[later, sitting on a rock holding some water lilies]
Rapunzel: Well, that's okay! I mean, what she doesn't know won't kill her, right?
[rocking back and forth in a cave]
Rapunzel: Oh, my gosh... This would kill her!
Rapunzel: THIS IS SOOO FUUUUUN!
[standing on a tree branch, head up against the bark]
Rapunzel: ... I am a horrible daughter. I'm going back.
Rapunzel: I am NEVER going back! Woo-hoo!
[facedown in the grass]
Rapunzel: I am a despicable human being!
[swinging around a tree]
Rapunzel: WOO-HOOO! BEST DAY EVER!
Rapunzel: [singing] Flower gleam and glow. Let your powers shine. Make the clock reverse. Bring back what once was mine. Heal what has been hurt. Change the fates' design. Save what has been lost. Bring back what once was mine, What once was mine...
Rapunzel: Who are you, and how did you find me?
Flynn Rider: [clears throat] I know not who you are, nor how I came to find you, but may I just say... Hi. How ya doin'?
Rapunzel: We made it.
Flynn Rider: Her hair glows!
Rapunzel: We're alive. We're alive!
Flynn Rider: I didn't see that coming.
Flynn Rider: The hair actually glows.
Flynn Rider: Why does her hair glow!
Flynn Rider: [almost in hysteria] What?
Rapunzel: It doesn't *just* glow.
Flynn Rider: [Pascal smiles at him smugly] Why is he smiling at me?
Flynn Rider: [after Rapunzel's magical tear revives him] Rapunzel?
Rapunzel: [surprised] Eugene!
Flynn Rider: [smiles] Did I ever tell you I've got a thing for brunettes?
Flynn Rider: Oh... oh no... where is my satchel?
Rapunzel: [proudly] I've hidden it. Somewhere you'll never find it.
Flynn Rider: [Looks around the room for 2 seconds] It's in that pot, isn't it?
[Rapunzel hits him with her frying pan. He comes round with Pascal's tongue in his ear]
Flynn Rider: Will you stop that?
Rapunzel: *Now* it's hidden where you'll never find it.
Hook Hand Thug: [to Rapunzel] Go. Live your dream.
Flynn Rider: I will.
Hook Hand Thug: Your dream stinks. I was talking to her.
[looking in the mirror with Rapunzel]
Mother Gothel: Rapunzel, look in that mirror. Do you know what I see? I see a strong, confident, beautiful young lady.
Mother Gothel: Oh look, you're here too!
Rapunzel: [the Stabbington brothers appear] Who's that?
Flynn Rider: They don't like me.
Rapunzel: [the castle guards appear] Who's that?
Flynn Rider: They don't like me either.
Rapunzel: [Maximus appears] Who's that?
Flynn Rider: Let's just assume for the moment that everyone in here doesn't like me!
Thug: That's a lot of hair.
Flynn Rider: She's growing it out.
Flynn Rider: But I know what the big question is? Did Rapunzel and I ever get married? Well I am happy to say after years and years of asking, I finally said yes.
Flynn Rider: Okay, okay. I asked her.
Rapunzel: And we're living happily ever after!
Flynn Rider: Yes we are.
Rapunzel: [dragging Flynn towards her with her hair, which she has used to bind him to a chair] Something brought you here, Flynn Rider. Call it what you will, fate, destiny...
Flynn Rider: A horse.
Rapunzel: ...so I have made the decision to trust you.
Flynn Rider: A horrible decision really.
Rapunzel: But trust me when I say this.
[yanks him closer]
Rapunzel: You can tear this tower apart brick by brick, but without my help, you will never find your precious satchel.
Rapunzel: [there's a rustle in the bushes. Rapunzel jumps on Flynn's back, terrified] Is it ruffians? Thugs? Have they come for me?
Flynn Rider: [a cute little bunny hops out of the bushes] Stay calm. It can probably smell fear.
Flynn Rider: You smell that? Take a deep breath through the nose.
[Breathes through nose]
Flynn Rider: Really let that seep in. What are you getting? Because to me, that's part man-smell, and the other part is really bad man-smell. I don't know why, but overall it just smells like the color brown. Your thoughts?
Flynn Rider: [from trailer] I could get used to a view like this. Yep, I'm used to it. Guys I want a castle.
Flynn Rider: [sword-fighting with Maximus] You should know that this is the strangest thing I've ever done!
[Max flicks the frying-pan from Flynn's hands]
Flynn Rider: ... How 'bout best two out of three?
Flynn Rider: Let me just get this straight, I take you to see the lanterns, bring you back home, and you'll give me back my satchel?
Rapunzel: I promise.
[Flynn looks at Rapunzel suspiciously]
Rapunzel: And when I promise something, I never ever break that promise.
[Flynn still looks suspicious]
Flynn Rider: All right, listen! I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder.
[Flynn puts on a pout, hoping to charm Rapunzel. She just looks at him sternly]
Flynn Rider: This is kind of an off-day for me. This doesn't normally happen.
Flynn Rider: Fine! I'll take you to see the lanterns.
Rapunzel: [gasps] Really?
[She jumps in excitement, letting go of the chair Flynn is tied to. He falls on his face]
Flynn Rider: [weakly] You broke my smolder.
Rapunzel: Something brought you here, Flynn Rider. Call it what you will... fate... destiny...
Flynn Rider: A horse.
Rapunzel: So Mother, earlier I was saying tomorrow is a really big day, and you didn't really respond, so I'm just gonna tell you: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! Tada!
Mother Gothel: No no no, can't be. I distinctly remember, your birthday was last year.
Rapunzel: That's the funny thing about birthdays, they're kind of an annual thing.
Flynn Rider: [Flynn looking at his 'Wanted' poster] No... no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is bad, this is very very bad, this is really bad... They just can't get my nose right!
Stabbington Brother: Who cares?
Flynn Rider: Well, it's easy for you to say...
[Looking at the Stabbington Brothers' 'Wanted' poster]
Flynn Rider: [in awe] ... You guys look amazing.
Hook Hand Thug: Head down.
Flynn Rider: Head down.
Hook Hand Thug: Arms in.
Flynn Rider: Arms in.
Hook Hand Thug: Knees apart.
Flynn Rider: Knees apart... Knees apart?
Rapunzel: Too weak to handle myself out there, huh, Mother?
[starts twirling frying pan]
Rapunzel: ...tell that to my frying pa...
[accidentally hits herself with pan]
Hook Hand Thug: [During the 'I've Got A Dream' number] What about you?
Flynn Rider: I'm sorry, me?
Big Nose Thug: What's your dream?
Flynn Rider: No, no no. Sorry, boys. I don't sing.
[All swords are pointed at him, Flynn begins to dance and sing]
Rapunzel: [circling Flynn tied to a chair with her hair] So, what do you want with my hair? To cut it?
Flynn Rider: What?
Rapunzel: Sell it?
Flynn Rider: No! Listen, the only thing I want to do with your hair is to get out of it... lit-er-a-lly!
Flynn Rider: The party lasted an entire week, and honestly, I don't remember most of it.
Flynn Rider: [to a thug] Is that blood in your mustache?
Flynn Rider: Goldie, look at this! Look at all the blood in his mustache! Good sir, that's a lot of blood!
Vlad: [Points at wanted poster of Flynn Rider] Is this you?
[Moves finger away to show a long nose on the poster]
Flynn Rider: Oh, now they're just being mean.
Flynn Rider: [clears throat] You know, I can't help but notice you seem a little at war with yourself here.
Flynn Rider: Now, I'm only picking up bits and pieces here, of course. Overprotective mother, forbidden road trip. I mean, this is serious stuff. But let me ease your conscience. This is part of growing up. A little rebellion, a little adventure, that's good. Healthy, even.
[brushes Pascal off his shoulder]
Rapunzel: [chuckles] You think?
Flynn Rider: I know. You're way over thinking this, trust me. Does your mother deserve it? No. Would this break her heart and crush her soul? Of course. But you've just got to do it.
Rapunzel: Break her heart?
Flynn Rider: [plucks grape off vine] In half.
Rapunzel: Crush her soul?
Flynn Rider: [squeezes grape] Like a grape.
Rapunzel: She would be heartbroken. You're right.
Flynn Rider: I am, aren't I? Oh, bother.
Flynn Rider: All right. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm letting you out of the deal.
Rapunzel: [catches on to what he's trying to do] What?
Flynn Rider: That's right, but don't thank me. Let's turn around and get you home. Here's your pan, here's your frog.
[hands her pan and Pascal and puts arm around her]
Flynn Rider: I get back my satchel and you get back a mother-daughter relationship based on mutual trust, and violà, we part ways as unlikely friends.
Rapunzel: [pushes Flynn away] No. I am seeing those lanterns.
Flynn Rider: Oh, come on! What is it going to take for me to get my satchel back?
Rapunzel: [holds up frying pan] I will use this.
Flynn Rider: This is the story of how I died. Don't worry, this is actually a very fun story and the truth is, it isn't even mine. This is the story of a girl named Rapunzel.
Mother Gothel: [Rapunzel has just locked Flynn in her closet] Rapunzel! Let down your hair!
Rapunzel: One moment, Mother!
Mother Gothel: I have a big surprise!
Rapunzel: Uh... I do too!
Mother Gothel: Ooh, I'll bet my surprise is bigger!
Rapunzel: [to herself] I seriously doubt it.
Flynn Rider: Hey, Max!
[throws him a bag of apples as he, Rapunzel, and Pascal row out to see the floating lanterns. Max gets a suspicious look on his face]
Flynn Rider: What? I bought them!
[Maximus starts chomping away happily at his apples]
Flynn Rider: ... *most* of them!
[Maximus starts and his eyes widen]
Flynn Rider: Ha! You should see your faces because you look -
[crashes into a beam]
Flynn Rider: ... ridiculous.
Flynn Rider: So! Hey can I ask you something? Is there any chance that I'm going to get super strength in my hand? Because I'm not gonna lie, that would be stupendous... Hey, you alright?
Rapunzel: [turns around] Oh. Sorry yes, just... lost in thought I guess.
Flynn Rider: [shrugs] I mean because here's the thing. Superhuman good looks, I've always had them. Born with it. But superhuman strength, can you imagine the possibilities of this?
Mother Gothel: [angrily] Enough with the lights, Rapunzel! YOU are not leaving this tower! EVER!
[sits down dramatically]
Mother Gothel: Great. Now I'M the bad guy.
Mother Gothel: Rapunzel, please, stop with the mumbling. You know how I feel about the mumbling. Blah blah blah blah blah, it's very annoying! I'm just teasing, you're adorable. I love you so much, darling.
Mother Gothel: [singing] Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
[Rapunzel pulls Mother Gothel up the tower]
Rapunzel: Hi. Welcome home, Mother.
Mother Gothel: Oh! Rapunzel! How you manage to do that every single day without fail! It looks absolutely exhausting, darling!
Rapunzel: Oh, it's nothing.
Mother Gothel: [in a sing-song voice] Then I don't know why it takes so long.
Rapunzel: [During the 'I See The Light' number; Rapunzel sees Flynn holding two lanterns for her and approaches him] I have something for you too.
[Rapunzel hands Flynn his satchel, Flynn looks surprised]
Rapunzel: I should have given it to you before, but I was scared. And the thing is, I'm not scared anymore. You know what I mean?
Flynn Rider: [Flynn gently pushes the satchel Rapunzel is holding in front of him aside and flashes a sincere smile] I'm starting to.
Rapunzel: [after healing Flynn's hand] Please don't freak out!
Flynn Rider: [rapid-fire] I'm not freaking out. Are you freaking out? No, I'm just very interested in your hair and the magical qualities that it possesses. How long has it been doing that, exactly?
Rapunzel: Uh, forever, I guess. Mother says when I was a baby, people tried to cut it. They wanted to take it for themselves. But once it's cut, it turns brown and loses its power.
[She shows her lone brown lock]
Rapunzel: A gift like that, it has to be protected. That's why Mother never let me... that's why I never left, and...
Flynn Rider: You never left that tower. And you're still gonna go back?
Rapunzel: No! Yes. Ugh. It's complicated. So, Eugene Fitzherbert, huh?
Flynn Rider: Yeah, well, I'll spare you the sob story of poor orphan Eugene Fitzherbert. It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a downer.
[She scoots up to him and rests her chin on her palms]
Flynn Rider: Huh. There was this book. A book I used to read every night to all the younger kids, "The Tales of Flynnagan Rider." Swashbuckling rogue, richest man alive, not bad with the ladies, either. Not that he'd ever brag about it, of course.
Rapunzel: Hmm. Was he a thief, too?
Flynn Rider: Well, no. Actually he had enough money to do anything that he wanted to do. He could go anywhere that he wanted to go. And - and for a kid with nothing, I don't know. It just seemed like the better option. You can't tell anyone about this, okay? It could ruin my whole reputation.
Rapunzel: Ah. We wouldn't want that.
Flynn Rider: Well, a fake reputation is all a man has. Um, well I should um... I - I should get some more firewood.
Rapunzel: Hey. For the record, I like Eugene Fitzherbert much better than Flynn Rider.
Flynn Rider: Well, then you'd be the first. But thank you.
Rapunzel: [Sung] I could go running/ and racing/ and dancing/ and chasing/ and leaping/ and bounding/ hair flying/ heart pounding/ and splashing/ and reeling/ and finally feeling/ now's when my life begins!
Rapunzel: [after releasing a branch that hits Hook Hand Thug on the head] PUT HIM DOWN!
[Everyone stops and stares at her in disbelief]
Rapunzel: Okay, I don't know where I am and I need him to take me to see the lanterns because I've been dreaming about them my entire life! FIND YOUR HUMANITY! Haven't any of you ever had a dream?
Hook Hand Thug: [draws his battle axe and walks over to Rapunzel] I had a dream once.
Short Thug: [about Mother Gothel] Whoaaaa! Somebody get me a glass! 'Cuz I just found me a tall drink of water.
Flynn Rider: So! You're being strangely cryptic as you wrap your magic hair around my injured hand.
Rapunzel: Sorry! Just, don't... don't freak out.
Flynn Rider: [eyes widen in anticipation of what is about to happen]
Rapunzel: [about Flynn] I think he likes me.
Mother Gothel: Likes you? Please, Rapunzel, that's demented!
Rapunzel: But Mother, I...
Mother Gothel: This is why you never should have left!/Dear, this whole romance that you've invented / Just proves you're too naive to be here./Why would he like you? Come on now, really./Look at you! You think that he's impressed?/Don't be a dummy, come with mummy./Mother...
Mother Gothel: No? Oh. I see how it is. Rapunzel knows best; Rapunzel's so mature now./Such a clever grown-up miss./Rapunzel knows best. Fine, if you're so sure now,/Go ahead and give him this, huh?
[reveals the satchel with the crown inside]
Rapunzel: [shocked] How did you...?
Mother Gothel: THIS is why he's here! Don't let him deceive you!/Give it to him, watch, you'll see!
Rapunzel: I will!
Mother Gothel: Trust me, my dear, that's how fast he'll leave you./I won't say I told you so!/No, Rapunzel knows best!/So, if he's such a dreamboat,/Go and put him to the test!
Rapunzel: Mother, wait!
Mother Gothel: If he's lying, don't come crying/Mother... knows best!
Mother Gothel: [singing] Mother knows best./Take it from your mumsy./On your own you won't survive./Sloppy, underdressed,/Immature, clumsy,/Please!/They'll eat you up alive!
Mother Gothel: Rapunzel? Rapunzel, what's going on up there? Are you all right?
Rapunzel: [whispers] I'm the lost princess.
Mother Gothel: [sighs] Please speak up, Rapunzel. You know how I hate the mumbling...
Rapunzel: [louder] I am the lost princess! Aren't I?
[Mother Gothel stares in shock]
Rapunzel: Did I mumble, Mother? Or should I even call you that?
Mother Gothel: [pauses, then regains composure] Oh, Rapunzel, do you even hear yourself? Why would you ask such a ridiculous question?
Rapunzel: [pushes her away, angry and frightened] It was you! It was ALL you!
Mother Gothel: [coldly] Everything I did was to protect YOU.
[Rapunzel shoves past Gothel in disgust]
Mother Gothel: Rapunzel!
Rapunzel: I've spent my entire life hiding from people who would use me for my power...
Mother Gothel: Rapunzel!
Rapunzel: ...when I should have been hiding - from YOU!
Mother Gothel: Where will you go? He won't be there for you.
Rapunzel: What did you do to him?
Mother Gothel: That criminal is to be hanged for his crimes.
Rapunzel: [gasps] No...
Mother Gothel: Now, now, it's all right. Listen to me. All of this is as it should be.
[She tries to touch Rapunzel, but Rapunzel grabs her wrist]
Rapunzel: No! You were wrong about the world. And you were wrong about ME! And I will NEVER let you use my hair again!
[Mother Gothel breaks free of Rapunzel's grip, only to cause a nearby mirror to fall and smash. Rapunzel then turns to leave]
Mother Gothel: You want me to be the bad guy? Fine.
[advances toward Rapunzel threateningly]
Mother Gothel: Now I'm the bad guy.
Flynn Rider: [Awakes to see Maximus staring back at him, dripping water] Well, I hope you're here to apologize.
Flynn Rider: [Upon being chased by the Palace Guards, Flynn and the Stabbington Brothers reach a dead end. They are facing a cliff] All right, okay, give me a boost, and I'll pull you up.
Stabbington Brother: [the Stabbington Brothers look at each other] Give us the satchel first.
Flynn Rider: What? I just... I can't believe that after all we've been through together, you don't... trust me?
[the Stabbington Brothers look at Flynn straight in the eye and crickets chirp in the background]
Flynn Rider: Ouch.
[Flynn hands the satchel to them]
Stabbington Brother: [Flynn climbs up the Stabbington Brothers and reaches the top of the cliff] Now help us up, pretty boy.
Flynn Rider: Sorry... my hands are full.
[Flynn cockily shows them the satchel he had stolen from them while climbing up and runs off]
Flynn Rider: Well, I've gotta say, I didn't know you had that in you back there. That was pretty impressive.
Rapunzel: [excited] I know!
Rapunzel: I know. So, Flynn, where are you from?
Flynn Rider: Whoa, whoa. Sorry, blondie, I don't do backstory. However, I am becoming very interested in yours. Now, I know I'm not supposed to mention the hair.
Flynn Rider: Or the mother.
Flynn Rider: Frankly, I'm too scared to ask about the frog.
Flynn Rider: Nuance. Here's my question, though. If you want to see the lanterns so badly, why haven't you gone before?
Rapunzel: Uh, heh, well...
[notices stones rumbling at her feet]
Rapunzel: Uh, Flynn?
[the guards and Maximus come charging in]
Captain of the Guard: Rider!
Flynn Rider: Run! Run!
Mother Gothel: [after tricking Rapunzel into returning to the tower with her] I really did try, Rapunzel. I tried to warn you what was out there. The world is dark and selfish and cruel. If it finds even the slightest ray of sunshine, it destroys it!
Rapunzel: [trapped in a flooding cave with Flynn] This is all my fault. She was right. I never should've done this. I'm so, I'm so sorry, Flynn.
Flynn Rider: [sighs] Eugene.
Rapunzel: [confused] What?
Flynn Rider: [sheepishly] My real name is Eugene Fitzherbert. Someone might as well know.
Rapunzel: Hmm. I have magic hair that glows when I sing.
Flynn Rider: What?
Rapunzel: [realizing what she's saying] I have magic hair that glows when I sing!
Rapunzel: Flower, gleam and glow. Let your power shine.
[the water overtakes them, and her hair glows, lighting their way out]
Hook Hand Thug: What about you?
Flynn Rider: I'm sorry, me?
Big Nose Thug: What's your dream?
Flynn Rider: No, no, no. Sorry boys, I don't sing.
Flynn Rider: [Flynn starts singing and dancing after the thugs hold swords in his face] I have dreams like you, no really, just much less touchy-feely, / They mainly happen somewhere warm and sunny, / On an island that I own, Tanned and rested and alone, / Surrounded by enormous piles of money.
Rapunzel: [sings] I've got a dream,
Chorus: [sung] She's got a dream,
Rapunzel: [sings] I've got a dream,
Chorus: [sung] She's got a dream,
Rapunzel: [sings] I just want to see the floating lanterns gleam, / And with every passing hour, I'm so glad I left my tower, / Like all you lovely folks, I've got a dream.
Chorus: She's got a dream, he's got a dream, / I've got a dream, he's got a dream, / So our differences ain't really that extreme, / We're one big team...
Big Nose Thug: Call us brutal,
Chorus: Say sadistic,
Big Nose Thug: And grotesquely optimistic,
Chorus: 'Cause way down deep inside, we've got a dream.
Chorus: [individually] I've got a dream, I've got a dream, I've got a dream, I've got a dream,
Chorus: Yes, way down deep inside, I've got a dream!
[the thugs say 'Yeah!' and cheer as the song ends]
Short Thug: [drunkenly stumbles out the door] I got a dream, I got some dream, I- Oh, somebody get me a glass, 'cause I just found me a tall glass of water.
Mother Gothel: [flirtatiously] Oh, stop it, you big lug.
Mother Gothel: [holds a knife to Shorty's nose] Where does that tunnel lead out?
Short Thug: [nervously] Knife!
Big Nose Thug: [sings] I've got scars and lumps and bruises, plus something here that oozes, and let's not even mention my complexion, / But despite my extra toes, and my goiter and my nose, I really want to make a love connection. / Can't you see me with a special little lady, rowing in a row boat down the stream? / Though I'm one disgusting blighter, I'm a lover, not a fighter, / 'Cause way down deep inside I got a dream.
Big Nose Thug: [sings] I've got a dream,
Chorus: [background singing] He's got a dream,
Big Nose Thug: And I know one day romance will reign supreme, / Though my face leaves people screaming, there's a child behind it dreaming, / Like everybody else, I've got a dream.
Vlad: [to the Captain of the Guard] I believe this is the man you're looking for.
Short Thug: [in a Cupid costume] You got me.
Captain of the Guard: [the guards have seized Flynn, and the dungeon doors all close shut one at a time] What is this?
Captain of the Guard: [the Captain pounds on a dungeon door] Open up!
Short Thug: [Shorty opens the door's window] What's the password?
Captain of the Guard: What?
Short Thug: Nope.
[Shorty closes the door's window]
Captain of the Guard: Open this door!
Short Thug: Not even close.
Captain of the Guard: You have three seconds! One... two... three...
[Hook-Hand Thug captures the guards one at a time]
Captain of the Guard: Huh?
[One of the thugs hits the Captain from behind with a frying pan, knocking him out]
Flynn Rider: Frying pans! Who knew, right?
Flynn Rider: [while in the hands of the Thugs] Not the nose, not the nose, not the nose!
Rapunzel: [Rapunzel wraps her hair around a decorative branch, and lets go, hitting Hook Hand on the head] Put him down! Okay, I don't know where I am, and I need him to take me to see the lanterns, because I've been dreaming about them my entire life. Find your humanity! Haven't any of you ever had a dream?
Hook Hand Thug: [Hook Hand approaches Rapunzel] I had a dream once.
Hook Hand Thug: [Hook Hand throws his axe at the wall, and the man in the corner starts playing his concertina] I'm malicious, mean, and scary, my sneer could curdle dairy, and violence-wise, my hands are not the cleanest. But despite my evil look and my temper and my hook, I've always yearned to be a concert pianist.
Hook Hand Thug: [Hook Hand starts playing the piano] Can't you see me on the stage, performing Mozart, Tickling the ivories 'till they gleam? Yep, I'd rather be called deadly, for my killer show tune medley.
Hook Hand Thug: Thank you!
[He slides his hand across the piano keys]
Hook Hand Thug: 'Cause way down deep inside I've got a dream!
Chorus: [singing] He's got a dream, he's got a dream.
Hook Hand Thug: See, I ain't as cruel and vicious as I seem, though I feel like breaking femurs, you can count me with the dreamers, for like everybody else, I've got a dream!
Big Nose Thug: [sings] Tor would like to quit and be a florist.
Vlad: [sings] Gunther does interior design.
Thug 2: [sings] Ulf is into mime.
Big Nose Thug: [sings] Attila's cupcakes are sublime.
Hook Hand Thug: [sings] And Vladimir collects ceramic u-ni-corns...
[Vladimir smiles with a sinister, ominous look]