The Longest Yard (2005) Poster

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7/10
Take it for a stand alone movie..
kennethcoker1982-13 June 2005
Don't compare today's comedy version of "The Longest Yard" to the old with Burt Reynolds. Today's is good and effective for what it is, a comedy film with a bit of action interlaced. So many classic Hollywood films were so good, that any attempt at a remake is just going to fall flat on its face. The Longest Yard with Adam Sandler is more of today's take on the story if you asked me. It has humor, and is Sandler at his best with Chris Rock playing his role well too. Critics and classic moviegoers beware. Unless you are open-minded, you will never find the hidden treasures of the movie world. It's a football comedy, plain and simple.
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7/10
Good kicks, near touchdown
T1Thousand6 June 2005
I'm going to start off by admitting that I had no interest in this movie whatsoever. I only saw it because I was dragged. Was it as bad as I thought? Not at all. It was way better than I expected it to be. We all know those mindless comedies that barely have a plot, cheap dialogue and jokes, and are just filled with stupidities galore. I thought this was one of them. I was wrong. This remake had a pretty good storyline and a few laughable jokes and moments. I usually don't laugh out loud at movies, but I did find myself doing so three or four times here. So that takes care of the Funniness Factor. The story is easy to get involved in--you want to see the prisoners kick the guards' butts in football. It is a well played story and fun to watch. Sandler is not one of my favorite actors, but I have to give him his props because I am starting to see that he usually stars in movies that are at least remotely funny and that have a pretty decent plot. But the main thing is that his characters usually act the same. I would get into the slight lack of character development, but I'm sure you don't care to read about that. You only wish to know if this movie is funny or not and if it's worth watching! Well, yes the movie has its moments and it's good to watch, especially if you like football or are a Sandler fan. This has its good kicks and it is near a touchdown in the comedy category. So if you want to have a good time and relax to some entertainment, you can watch this one =)

6.6/10 Stars
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10/10
Not the original. Get used to it.
drsubtitles4 June 2005
I have read bad comment, after bad comment, about this movie, and I saw it, and I am sick and tired of everybody giving it a bad rap. People are downsizing it because it isn't enough like the original. But to truly enjoy this movie, you have to realize that it isn't really a remake. It's an homage. All it has is the same basic idea, and the characters. I found this an absolutely brilliant comedy, filled with frequent references to the original. It's genius characterizations of what some prison inmates might act like work perfectly. Especially Richard Kiels character turned into a weightier, less intelligent black man. I also quite enjoyed the frequent humor derived from taking scenes from the original and changing the words into PG-13. Although it originally seems silly, the player sh***ng himself scene is so much better when you realize it was originally the broke his f****ng neck scene. Also, the million one-liners, I guess could be taken badly, but only if you're looking for them to be. Possibly the reason everybody hates this so much is because they're looking for it to be the original. If you're going to see this, remember, it's not the original. Its an Adam Sandler movie making homage to the Longest Yard.
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6/10
It made HOW MUCH????
TOMASBBloodhound4 December 2005
People who lined up to bash this film had better get used to seeing more like it. Hollywood these days is stuck in a rut where three types of films account for nearly every film they release. Those are: remakes, sequels, and films based on comic book characters. The Longest Yard would of course fit into the first category. It is a slightly updated, but fairly faithful remake of the 1974 film of the same name. This time, we have Adam Sandler who plays the incarcerated quarterback that Burt Reynolds played in the original. Reynolds is on hand to play a minor role which the original film also contained. The plot is still the same. Prisoners vs guards in a game of football. Pretty simple.

Did the film make me laugh? Sure it did. There are more than a few chuckles, but not much in the way of side-splitting material. Sandler is actually not that memorable in this film. Some of the best performances actually come from people you might not expect. I was truly impressed with Nelly and Michael Irvin. Both men had their characters down, and really proved they could actually act. Chris Rock is about as good as you'd expect. Your own personal opinion of him will determine how you rate his performance. James Cromwell plays the corrupt warden about as well as you might expect. He's pretty much got the market cornered on evil white guy roles, since J.T. Walsh's untimely death. The rest of the cast becomes a game of "see if you can spot the NFL player, WWE combatant, or famous sports journalist". And what on earth was Cloris Leachman doing in the Bernadette Peters role from the original? Did she lose some kind of bet with Sandler on the set of Spanglish or something?

Should this film have been made? Well, we film critics can argue that point all day. The truth of the matter is that this film grossed over $150,000,000!!! As far as the studio bosses are concerned, this film was more than worth it. This was actually one of the more profitable comedies released this year, so you can expect more like it in the near future. I'll give it 6 of 10 stars. Don't expect anywhere near the film we got in 1974. But there are plenty of worse films on the shelves at your local video store.

The Hound.
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6/10
it's trade-off: less character development, more laughs
drjimmycooper25 May 2005
I went to this film thinking it was going to suck. I was a big fan of the original. Loved it as a kid, although I know it's not a great film or anything.

I was surprised at how fun the remake was, although it is a superficial kind of fun. The original had better casting and stronger character development. Reynolds and Eddie Albert are so wonderful in their roles, Sandler and the new warden are pretty damn lame in comparison. And the original spent more time building the characters, so that by the end, the film really resonated in a way the remake does not.

BUT, the remake is a fun & energetic piece of pop entertainment. It goes much more for broad comedy and pretty much succeeds. It's not super- hilarious, but it's funny enough and much funnier than the original. Although Sandler is wrong for the part, he's likable enough. Chris Rock is funny, as are some of the others. And the overall brisk pace keeps the whole thing afloat.

Yes, it's a disposable movie. It lacks the dark undercurrents that made the first one so good. It even seems to self-consciously acknowledge that it will never stand outside the shadow of Burt Reynolds. No, it doesn't have as much substance, but it has its own childish charm.
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Excellent Remake, In My Opinion... And Bob Sapp Still Rules!
BigHardcoreRed5 June 2005
The remake here was surprisingly good and pretty true to the original movie but will be most enjoyed by Adam Sandler fans or fans of the original. Except for a few exceptions to keep it up to date and a few to screw with those that saw the original, the stories are pretty much identical. The main character were all the same as well, but the supporting cast, especially the guards and cons, were changed up a bit.

Former NFL quarterback Paul Crewe (Sandler, replacing the original Burt Reynolds) is arrested and faces a 3 year sentence for GTA, DUI and I am sure some other stuff which is unimportant. After his sentencing, Warden Hazen (James Cromwell) pulls a few strings to get Crewe placed in his prison so he can coach his semi-pro team. Upon the urging of Captain Knauer (William Fichtner), Crewe declines, which sets the wheels in motion for an eventual game between Crewe and the convicts against Knauer and the guards.

The supporting football players were the real highlights of the movie, most notably Bob Sapp and Kevin Nash (I hate to say it but Nash did a good job. If only he was this good a wrestler), with honorable mentions to Nelly, Michael Irvin, Bill Goldberg, Steve Austin, Bill Romanowski & Brian Bosworth. Also, who could forget Chris Rock as Caretaker? This could not have been cast better.

Overall, A good comedy worth seeing. Especially if you are a Sandler fan.
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9/10
Laugh out loud funny
ccvix3 June 2005
I loved this movie! I have seen the original, also, and I have to say that this version is much more fun to watch and should appeal to a wider audience. For those who thought this was going to be a more serious movie for Adam Sandler....what on earth gave you that idea?? It's a comedy. It's meant to be funny and it is. If you are not a fan of Adam Sandler's then don't bother with it, because you won't like it. If you are a fan, I believe you will enjoy it very much. If you have absolutely no sense of humor, as it seems quite a few who have written comments about this movie are lacking just that, then don't bother with it either. I know when my husband and I saw it, the whole audience was roaring with laughter throughout the movie and my husband has informed me that he cannot wait for it to come out on DVD. It was a whole lot of fun to watch and I recommend it highly.
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7/10
A Great Pre-Summer Film!
blondie197213 May 2005
I too got to see a free-sneak peak of this film in NYC and I'll tell you one thing . . there were no sleepers in the cinema! A very mixed crowd from race to ages here and everyone seemed to be having a great time . . even the teenager who sat behind me who reminded me of every actor when he appeared on the screen .. like Nelly. I haven't had this much fun in the theater in quite awhile. No, it's not a super serious film, but if you like football and the good feeling of revenge you'll love this film. Lots of violent blows from the guards and a little racism, but nothing too "out of the ordinary" . . some great one-liners from Chris Rock's character. A definite #1 film for Memorial Day weekend when it opens. I can see this film bringing in some good dough this summer.
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6/10
Hilarious remake about one of the all-time classic football films
ma-cortes15 January 2008
This remake from Robert Aldrich film deals about a professional quarterback (Adam Sandler in the role of Reynolds)is sent to high-security prison for stealing his sweetheart's car(an unbilled Courtney Cox) . There, the warden chief (James Cromwell substituting to Edward Albert) forces him to put together an inmates team to play his semi-pro made up of wardens(led by William Fitchner substituting to Ed Lauter, here playing a cameo). The disgraced quarterback is caught among brutal wardens(Brian Bosworth,Steve Austin, Todd Holland) and embittered fellows prisoners( Nicholas Turturro,Lobo Sebastian, Bill Goldberg, among others) organizing a strong cons-versus -wardens match . He's helped by sympathetic inmate(Chris Rock) and veteran player con(Burt Reynolds).

This comic bone-crunching comedy is constituted by three parts, the first about introduction characters, the second part deals a football training and the third, dedicated to the game. Delightful serio-comic film about two likable crooks(Sandler, Rock), who became trainers of a motley group. This remake is as violent and humorous as the former film though no originality but rips off situations and scenes. The picture is plenty of violence, bone-crunching brutality, profanities , but also humor and amusing. Agreeable script by Tracy Keenan Wynn and production by Albert S. Ruddy , the same from Aldrich version that was remade in 2001 as ¨Mean machine¨(with Vinnie Jones Jason Statham and David Kelly) the original movie's British title. The motion picture is well directed by Peter Segal, usual director for Adam Sandler(50 first dates, Anger management) and comedies expert( Nutty professor, Naked gun: Final insult, Tommy boy) and recently filming ¨Get Smart¨. Rating: Acceptable rendition from classic movie for those who delight in football sports and crunching cruelty and with some moments very funny.
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1/10
An Honest Review
generationofswine7 April 2017
Have you seen it? No? There is likely a very good reason for that...it stinks.

Like nearly ALL the endless remakes and reboots that have been plaguing movie goers for the past decade or so....all this is, is a heartless version of the original.

It has no heart.

It has no soul.

It is a retelling of a film that we all love and cherish...and it adds nothing to the story. It improves nothing but the special effects--which held up very well over time--and in some cases belittles the fans of the original...particularly in the fact that they remade the movie at all, without adding anything clever to it.

Like so many other remakes it is a hallow shell of the original.
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8/10
Good movie for a sports fan.
shredsofmetal14 December 2005
Revenge is the one thing on the mind that every prisoner wants to impose on the guards. This idea of revenge is exactly what Paul Crewe (Adam Sandler) does to help motivate other inmates to organize a football team in an inmates vs. guards football game.

The movie opens up with Crewe being chased by cops after he stole a Bentley. The car chase ends with Crewe getting arrested and bragging to his girlfriend by jumping up and down in front of the media helicopters that were covering the chase. Immediately we get to see the personality of Paul Crewe as a cocky spotlight loving person. Crewe is a former NFL player who is the only player to be banned from the league for point shaving. When he enters the jail, he is hated by everybody because he caused so many people to lose bets from the point shaving incident.

An NFL player, or any celebrity usually has special treatment in prison. Crewe's opportunity arises when the prison Warden, Hazen, (James Cromwell) offers Crewe a chance for a nice cell and good words in parole hearings. The offer was to organize the inmates to play the guards in a football team. The point was for the inmates to have such a horrible team, that the guards would win easily and have high enough spirit to be able to compete in their organized league. After vowing to never be involved with football again, Crewe declines the offer. The guards beat up on him, and he is unable to socialize with any inmates. After not wanting to take anymore beatings from the guards, Crewe accepts Hazen's offer.

The first friend that Crewe makes is Caretaker (Chris Rock). Caretaker had already spent a long time in prison and knew most of the inmates. Caretaker helps Crewe with tryouts for the team, but there was no talent. As are most prisons, the Old Main prison is racially separated. Crewe wanted some of the black players on the team, but they wanted nothing to do with football. Megget (Nelly) had a respect for Crewe, and was the first player to join the team. He was an extremely fast runner, but there were not enough players to make a decent team.

Enter Nate Scarborough, (Burt Reynolds) a Heisman Trophy winner, who still lived for football. He helped train the team, but the lack of talent made it so that there is no chance for the inmates to win. After several racial incidents involving guards, many other black players join the team, and the inmates become a decent team. The inmates are ready to face to guards in the battle of revenge they have been waiting for. Most of the inmates only want to play so that they can impose as much pain as possible on the guards. Crewe and Scarborough want to take the respect out of the guards by beating them. They train the teams until the Warden asks Crewe for something that he will not do again; shave points off the score so that the guards can easily defeat the inmates.

The cast of The Longest Yard has many big names. Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds, James Cromwell, and Nelly are the main characters of the movie. On both teams there are many NFL players such as Michael Irwin and Bill Romanowski. One of the best roles in the movie is Chris Berman's cameo as the ESPN announcer during the big game. Berman is the benchmark for football commentating, and for such an important game, it is fitting to have such a personality as Berman.

The visual effects of the film are fantastic. The bone crushing hits are presented well in slow motion and with up close camera shots. The set of the prison gives a realistic sense of a jail as well. It is in the middle of New Mexico with absolutely nothing but desert near it. The sense of isolation is similar to what the prisoners probably feel.

The Longest Yard has the same basic premise as Happy Gilmore but football rather than golf. Adam Sandler is trying to get revenge, but turns to a sport rather than fights. In both movies, I found myself rooting for Sandler's character, and hating the antagonists. This film is not as crude as other Sandler films, but still has plenty of laughs. Chris Rock's humor is similar to his standup as most of the things that Rock says in The Longest Yard has something to do with race. Burt Reynolds is not given a lead role in this movie, but he still has a "tough guy" attitude through his character.

I have not seen the original The Longest Yard, so I cannot compare the remake to the original. While watching the movie, I found myself cheering for the teams as I do when watching the Bears beating the Packers. Chris Rock's character adds a lot of humor to the movie. The one complaint I have with the movie is that the conflicts at the end are not completely resolved, and it is unclear about what will happen in the future. The Longest Yard is not an Oscar worthy masterpiece, but for a typical sports fan, The Longest Yard is a great movie. In all, I give it a rating of 8 out of 10.
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6/10
Better than "The Waterboy"
tompeterson515 April 2005
I got to see the same sneak preview movie at the theatre last week.

With all the TV advertising and trailers at the movies I thought the film was coming out soon, but I just checked and they said it won't hit the Cineplex until May 27th!

Prediction? It will the box office winner on Memorial Day weekend. Perfect time to come out with a football picture because all the NFL fans are fed up with Arena football and thirsty for any real football.

Well, what can I say about the movie? Loved it! Very entertaining. You could get into the characters, no matter how despicable they were and you were rooting for them. Of course the story is an old one. They filmed it in 1974 with Burt Reynolds and it is about prisoners playing a football game against the guards. It's a comedy, but boy it is Violent with a capital V.

It is a real macho man movie and everyone is going to love it. Adam Sandler gets beat up or beat down a lot in the movie, they give the best lines and jokes to Chris Rock and there will be a few other Saturday Night Live people you will recognize in it. There are a lot of scenes of cheap shots and unsportsmanlike conduct. Very physical, very brutal. Some scenes will make you cringe. You will feel their pain. Not blood and guts with stabbings or shootings, but extreme football hurts and hits.

Yes it's a comedy and yes it's funny, but also ultra violent, did I mention that already? Now I know why I gave up on football in high school and focused more on Cross Country and Track & Field...because I realized I would live longer if I competed in a sport where no one is trying to injury me or knock you out of competition.

A great film? No, but people will feel they got their money's worth and yes, it will be popular on DVD with outtakes and behind the scenes footage. I can't see it getting a PG-13 rating, not with all the language and use of the "N" word by the cookie cutter, steroid popping sadistic guards.
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1/10
Horrible
mr_me4 May 2006
Well, where to begin. Shawshank Repemption it ain't. I know that's a bit of a cruel comparison, but when you look at the Shawshank Redemption, and you look at this, you get really worried, and realise how bad this movie actually is.

Is there a single likable character in this film? No. The main character deserved to go to jail, so did all the others. There is no one to sympathise with, no one to like, it just trails on and on, one loathsome character after another, with a laughable and uninteresting plot.

Seriously bad. Just bad. Come on Adam Sandler, you're much better than this. And what was with the uncredited Courney Cox cameo? It was terrible!
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1/10
One Word, Horrible!
General_G22 October 2005
If I have to even hear a commercial for another sports movie I'm going kill the producers! This movie was just horrible! I can't believe Adam Sandler anymore. Hes a sell out with this remake not to mention Spanglish. He is just annoying now. The Longest Yard is full of stupid, corny and annoying scenes and jokes. I despise football. Its the worst sport ever invented. On top of them showing it on TV twenty-four hours a day seven days a week during the fall, people go out and make stupid movies about it, like this one. If you like pathetic movies that critics rave they are so great when there not, go see this piece of garbage.
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1/10
So bad it made my TV stink!
kjohnson4598841714 October 2005
Tommy Boy good, Longest Yard Bad

I try not to be hypercritical of low budget films, but... You would think that having the original as a template for the remake, that at least some original thought, or effort would be made to update this already marginal film, but no. How many days were spent shooting this film? My guess is just a matter of weeks.

The Longest Yard has to be the worst film of Sadler's career. I know the Director has had experience making some well crafted comedy films, I liked Tommy Boy and found it quite amusing, but "TLY" was like a long drawn out joke without a punchline. The viewer should fill insulted as well as cheated by the lack of effort made in the making of this film and had I paid to see it... (I don't want my money back, I want to be paid for my my pain and suffering). Burt Reynolds, what were you thinking? Your Macco commercials had a tighter script.
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1/10
Stop the REMAKES
jreinhardt-13 June 2005
Please Hollywood stop the remakes. Your not good at them. This is another example of a classic Hollywood movie ruined by the New Hollywood & actors who can't pull it off. I like Adam Sandler but would like to see him in better scripted movies. Adam aren't you tired of playing the same roll over & over? The script was bad, the dialog even worse. Chris Rock needs to either get acting lessons or stay out of cinema. He's never been able to carry a movie & the chemistry between he & Sandler doesn't exist. There were very few actual laughs just goofy comedy & scenes already played on television. Don't' waste your money.
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4/10
About As Bad A Mr. Deeds
Matt_Layden12 December 2006
Crewe was a football superstar back in the day, but cast a black eye on the sport when he sold out his team-mates. Then a drunk driving accident sends him to prison, but the thing is the Warden specifically requested he be sent to his prison. Now Crewe has been giving the duty of putting together a football team, full of the inmates. Recruiting is hard, until the inmates find out that they are playing the guards.

Let me just say that I've never seen the original, so my views on this film are not in comparison to it, but as a film on it's own. I'm sitting here asking myself if I should judge this film against other football films, or even other Adam Sandler films. I can't really do that with the latter because it's not like any other Sandler film. It seems that he has grown up out of the stupid jokes that involve him yelling a lot and hitting little kids. This seems to be a softer side, a side that wants to show that he is not just a comedian, but a money making star. If this is a side of Sandler that we will be seeing, then I want to shun him out of the business right now.

I've never seen "Punch Drunk Love" or "Spanglish", so I can't comment on those films, but other then the recent "Click", Sandler hasn't had a good, or even funny, film since The Waterboy. The Longest Yard, if I were to describe it in two words it would be, NOT FUNNY. Now I know it's not suppose to be a flat out comedy, but with comedic actors like Chris Rock and Adam Sandler, you would expect to maybe laugh every once and a while, this is not the case. Mr. Deeds was Sandler's worst film in his career (not including that boat one) and The Longest Yard seems to be giving it a run for it's money. I had a more enjoyable time watching Little Nicky then I did this.

The film is full of clichés. I was rolling my eyes when the mean prison guard gave Sandler the "you're okay" speech at the end, not to mention the useless and meaningless character of Chris Rock, who is only there for sympathy, only there to get a few tears, but it doesn't even work. It's sad really. Let me tell you this, just because there are stars in the remake that were in the original, does not make it "okay" or "good". Does having them in the movie signify some kind of blessing? Give me a break. I can see having wrestlers in the film to play football players and guardss, but they didn't add anything to it. No star value of "Hey, look who it is" because there are so many of them. Also, Nelly makes an appearance, yet another rapper trying to make it in Hollywood. Again, I'm asking myself, what's the purpose? Couldn't get real actors? So you try to reach out to the young crowd, "Hey look, it's NELLY kids."

Now after telling you that the film is full of stupid clichés, that it's not funny and that it tries to pass of rappers and wrestlers as actors, what else is there to tell? How about how it's not even a good football movie? Not once did I ever think that they would lose and not once did I ever think that any of this would ever actually happen. Never would the inmates be wondering around the prison at night. Basically you need to pass on this film, all it consists of is poor McDonald's jokes that never hit the mark. Go watch the original instead…and I haven't even seen it.
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1/10
Unfunny 2-Hour Commercial
drcrabdc6 August 2006
This film is an hour long commercial for ESPN as many personalities appear in on-screen roles. Michael Irvin, Dan Patrick, Jim Rome, Sean Salisbury and on down the line. McDonalds apparently paid a hefty fee to have about 20 mentions in the movie. One character is dedicated to talking only about McDonalds products.

To make matters worse, there are several attempts at juvenile humor and they all fall flat. There is not a genuine laugh in the whole movie. It's stunning that Chris Rock is so funny doing stand-up and so bad in a movie. Adam Sandler's funny days are clearly behind him. Oh, and the plot is contrived and predictable--but you probably guessed that. See this movie at your own risk.
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1/10
One of the worst films let alone remakes that I've ever seen...
stephenjamesb-122 December 2007
There have been some good remakes and there have been some bad remakes of great films... Then there was this film (I'm being kind when I refer to it as a film) Now you take a film that is a classic, which the 1974 version is most certainly one of the best sports movies ever made.. The idea was fresh, funny and well done... Then 31 years later this truly dreadful movie gets released.. The whole problem was trying to do a carbon copy of the original film.. But they failed to even make a copy of the original film.. The original had character development with Crewe, Caretaker, Nate Scarboro, Captain Knauer, Warden Hazen and Unger.. This didn't...

The film failed to create character development, it was introduce the characters give them a few insights and then just cut to the football game... It was like the filmmakers actually believed taking shortcuts in the actual story and relying on the people who actually enjoyed the first movie to know about the backstory..

Other problems with the film was just throwing in so many homophobic stereotypes and other racial jokes that truly detracted from what would have been moderately passable film.

This was all in the first 25 minutes until I got so annoyed with a total waste of celluloid that I turned it off and watched the original..

If they were smart enough they should have continued on the story not just have remade it, use the ideal that was established in the original film where Burt Reynolds (Paul Crewe) is still in prison for pissing off Eddie Albert (Warden Hazen) much like John Steadman (Pop) did, then have Sandler's character whatever they would call him be arrested for something similar.. If they did that then they could of had a good movie.. They didn't.. SO you got this piece of garbage..
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Peter Segal's best film since TOMMY BOY
jellyneckr28 May 2005
In 1994, Peter Segal made his feature film directorial debut with NAKED GUN 33 1/3: THE FINAL INSULT, the hilarious concluding chapter of the NAKED GUN series. His follow-up was the even funnier TOMMY BOY in 1995, one of the best comedies of the 1990s. His next film, MY FELLOW Americans, was pretty funny but failed to generate the same number of laughs as his two previous films. Still, it seemed like Segal was destined to become one of the next great comedy directors. That is until 2000's NUTTY PROFESSOR II: THE KLUMPS, a lame rehash of the 1996 remake. Since then, he's continued to direct pretty mediocre comedies like ANGER MANAGEMENT and 50 FIRST DATES so I had low expectations when I heard he was to direct the THE LONGEST YARD. Luckily, THE LONGEST YARD, his latest movie, is his best film since TOMMY BOY thanks to Segal's great comedic direction. In addition to handling the comedy well, he also does a fantastic job with the football scenes. In fact, I think it is safe to say that because of Segal's direction, THE LONGEST YARD is the best football film of the 2000s so far.

Anybody that knows me knows that if there is one type of movie I hate, it's remakes. There is no reason for them, making them pointless. However, for whatever reason, I actually enjoyed this one. From the great opening shot of a beautiful girl swimming in a pool to the very last shot of Warden Hazen (James Cromwell) getting Gatorade poured all over him, I found myself having a ball. It's just an all around fun film. Everyone does a great job with their roles (especially Sandler and Rock) and for an almost two hour movie, THE LONGEST YARD is fast-paced.

Still, THE LONGEST YARD has its fair share of problems. The rap sound track doesn't seem to fit the picture very well, some of the jokes fall pretty flat(i.e. most of the gay jokes), and there's not nearly as much character development as there was in the original. Despite these flaws, THE LONGEST YARD remains one of the highlights of 2005. Recommended.
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1/10
Utterly Retarded even for Adam Sandler
wallacepark18 October 2005
Adam Sandler is a funny guy but this film doesn't live up to his better comedies, such as Anger Management and 50 first dates. It's OK if a movie is ridiculous as long as it makes you laugh, but this movie is just not funny. It's too ridiculous. There is no storyline...The plot is just about getting ready for the football game. I never saw the original movie so I can't really compare the two. As for the acting, it's not that the acting is bad...it's that no one has to act. The best part of the film is the opening scene where Adam Sandler insults some police officers and gets into a car chase. The rest of the movie is just to silly to be taken seriously and failed to make the audience laugh outloud. There is no character development at all and the characters' actions are not realistic as well. Not many good things about this movie.
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4/10
Totally unworthy of its predecessor
Angeneer8 September 2005
I wonder, will some corporate guy actually get a bonus for having thought that a remake of Mean Machine starring Adam Sandler would be a great idea? What kind of productive thinking is that? This movie not only adds nothing in the mean machine brand, but it serves as a Trojan horse that can destroy the myth from within. What is the redeeming value of having endured 2 hours of Adam Sandler and co? I couldn't find any. Even to say that it conveys an anti-racist message is a longer shot than those we see in the movie itself. The music is pathetic, but at least that was expected. Oh and I forgot, it is a comedy? Where are the jokes then?
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9/10
Longest Yard... Touchdown!
dumassays23 June 2005
I haven't laughed like that in a long while. Welcome back Adam Sandler. Sandler hasn't offered a performance of this scale and quality since Happy Gilmore. With movies like Punch Drunk Love and Eight Crazy Nights, you had to ask yourself if Sandler had lost his golden touch, though he did save himself with his dramatic roles in Spanglish and 50 First Dates. Sandler, like Jim Carrey and Robin Williams, really belongs in the comedic roles, where quick wit and obvious ad lib are not only welcomed but expected. Sandler absolutely dominates in this film.

He wasn't hurting for supporting characters either, Chris Rock's role as Caretaker is a bit unbelievable, but he delivers his lines with his well known stand-up approach to comedy. He's funny and lovable, a definite asset to the movie. Burt Reynolds, taking on the senior role this time around, as opposed to the lead in the '74 version, obviously has a lessor impact on the story, but he plays it well with his hard nosed, shy but deadly, attitude. Then there is Terry Crews as Cheeseburger Eddy... if you thought that this guy was funny in White Chicks, then you can expect more of the same hilarity in The Longest Yard. Every scene with Crews is laugh out loud.

I didn't know what to expect from this movie being that it was a remake, but I can say with sincerity that I was truly impressed with the acting and story line. With characters like Sasquatch, Mc-Asshole and Colonel Sanders, it would be difficult not to be. This movie is not to be missed!
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1/10
I thought Mr Deeds was bad... Shame i can't give a '0' rating
iain_greenaway1 February 2006
This was the worst film I have ever seen at the cinema, and I have seen some terrible films in the last 20 years.

It was recommended by a friend of a friend who we can only assume finds Police Academy 7 funny too.

My mate wanted to leave after 10 minutes when we realised there weren't even any good looking women in it to distract us from another moronic Sandler remake e.g. Mr Deeds.

The main premise of this 'comedy' appears to be showcasing how great, popular and hard Adan Sandler is. Sandler seems unable to cast himself as anything other than:

  • a mistreated retard who beats people up


  • the most popular man on Earth who always gets the girl/wins a competition despite the efforts of a rich bad guy.


Considering he was surrounded by a decent support cast in Chris Rock and Burt Reynolds, it's amazing that he felt the need to give the 'funniest' lines to a group of wrestlers. I truly have seen better comic delivery at a nativity play. Steve Austin is the best of a bad bunch and to be honest no-one could be as unfunny as Sandler's best mate Rob 'Deuce Bigalow' Schneider who has a cameo for no reason.

So in summary, never ever watch this film unless you want to not laugh or are trying to split up with someone.

I read somewhere that Sandler was first choice to play the cab driver in Collateral. Maybe they wouldn't cast Rob Schneider in Cruise's role so he declined (?)

Seriously Sandler please, please stop making films. Leave comedy to funny people like Ben Stiller. If you do carry on cos a seven year old once laughed at a fart gag in 'Happy Gilmore', don't do another remake and ruin the memories of a decent original.
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