The Longest Yard (2005) Poster

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7/10
Take it for a stand alone movie..
kennethcoker1982-13 June 2005
Don't compare today's comedy version of "The Longest Yard" to the old with Burt Reynolds. Today's is good and effective for what it is, a comedy film with a bit of action interlaced. So many classic Hollywood films were so good, that any attempt at a remake is just going to fall flat on its face. The Longest Yard with Adam Sandler is more of today's take on the story if you asked me. It has humor, and is Sandler at his best with Chris Rock playing his role well too. Critics and classic moviegoers beware. Unless you are open-minded, you will never find the hidden treasures of the movie world. It's a football comedy, plain and simple.
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6/10
It made HOW MUCH????
TOMASBBloodhound4 December 2005
People who lined up to bash this film had better get used to seeing more like it. Hollywood these days is stuck in a rut where three types of films account for nearly every film they release. Those are: remakes, sequels, and films based on comic book characters. The Longest Yard would of course fit into the first category. It is a slightly updated, but fairly faithful remake of the 1974 film of the same name. This time, we have Adam Sandler who plays the incarcerated quarterback that Burt Reynolds played in the original. Reynolds is on hand to play a minor role which the original film also contained. The plot is still the same. Prisoners vs guards in a game of football. Pretty simple.

Did the film make me laugh? Sure it did. There are more than a few chuckles, but not much in the way of side-splitting material. Sandler is actually not that memorable in this film. Some of the best performances actually come from people you might not expect. I was truly impressed with Nelly and Michael Irvin. Both men had their characters down, and really proved they could actually act. Chris Rock is about as good as you'd expect. Your own personal opinion of him will determine how you rate his performance. James Cromwell plays the corrupt warden about as well as you might expect. He's pretty much got the market cornered on evil white guy roles, since J.T. Walsh's untimely death. The rest of the cast becomes a game of "see if you can spot the NFL player, WWE combatant, or famous sports journalist". And what on earth was Cloris Leachman doing in the Bernadette Peters role from the original? Did she lose some kind of bet with Sandler on the set of Spanglish or something?

Should this film have been made? Well, we film critics can argue that point all day. The truth of the matter is that this film grossed over $150,000,000!!! As far as the studio bosses are concerned, this film was more than worth it. This was actually one of the more profitable comedies released this year, so you can expect more like it in the near future. I'll give it 6 of 10 stars. Don't expect anywhere near the film we got in 1974. But there are plenty of worse films on the shelves at your local video store.

The Hound.
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7/10
Good kicks, near touchdown
T1Thousand6 June 2005
I'm going to start off by admitting that I had no interest in this movie whatsoever. I only saw it because I was dragged. Was it as bad as I thought? Not at all. It was way better than I expected it to be. We all know those mindless comedies that barely have a plot, cheap dialogue and jokes, and are just filled with stupidities galore. I thought this was one of them. I was wrong. This remake had a pretty good storyline and a few laughable jokes and moments. I usually don't laugh out loud at movies, but I did find myself doing so three or four times here. So that takes care of the Funniness Factor. The story is easy to get involved in--you want to see the prisoners kick the guards' butts in football. It is a well played story and fun to watch. Sandler is not one of my favorite actors, but I have to give him his props because I am starting to see that he usually stars in movies that are at least remotely funny and that have a pretty decent plot. But the main thing is that his characters usually act the same. I would get into the slight lack of character development, but I'm sure you don't care to read about that. You only wish to know if this movie is funny or not and if it's worth watching! Well, yes the movie has its moments and it's good to watch, especially if you like football or are a Sandler fan. This has its good kicks and it is near a touchdown in the comedy category. So if you want to have a good time and relax to some entertainment, you can watch this one =)

6.6/10 Stars
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10/10
Not the original. Get used to it.
drsubtitles4 June 2005
I have read bad comment, after bad comment, about this movie, and I saw it, and I am sick and tired of everybody giving it a bad rap. People are downsizing it because it isn't enough like the original. But to truly enjoy this movie, you have to realize that it isn't really a remake. It's an homage. All it has is the same basic idea, and the characters. I found this an absolutely brilliant comedy, filled with frequent references to the original. It's genius characterizations of what some prison inmates might act like work perfectly. Especially Richard Kiels character turned into a weightier, less intelligent black man. I also quite enjoyed the frequent humor derived from taking scenes from the original and changing the words into PG-13. Although it originally seems silly, the player sh***ng himself scene is so much better when you realize it was originally the broke his f****ng neck scene. Also, the million one-liners, I guess could be taken badly, but only if you're looking for them to be. Possibly the reason everybody hates this so much is because they're looking for it to be the original. If you're going to see this, remember, it's not the original. Its an Adam Sandler movie making homage to the Longest Yard.
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6/10
it's trade-off: less character development, more laughs
drjimmycooper25 May 2005
I went to this film thinking it was going to suck. I was a big fan of the original. Loved it as a kid, although I know it's not a great film or anything.

I was surprised at how fun the remake was, although it is a superficial kind of fun. The original had better casting and stronger character development. Reynolds and Eddie Albert are so wonderful in their roles, Sandler and the new warden are pretty damn lame in comparison. And the original spent more time building the characters, so that by the end, the film really resonated in a way the remake does not.

BUT, the remake is a fun & energetic piece of pop entertainment. It goes much more for broad comedy and pretty much succeeds. It's not super- hilarious, but it's funny enough and much funnier than the original. Although Sandler is wrong for the part, he's likable enough. Chris Rock is funny, as are some of the others. And the overall brisk pace keeps the whole thing afloat.

Yes, it's a disposable movie. It lacks the dark undercurrents that made the first one so good. It even seems to self-consciously acknowledge that it will never stand outside the shadow of Burt Reynolds. No, it doesn't have as much substance, but it has its own childish charm.
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Excellent Remake, In My Opinion... And Bob Sapp Still Rules!
BigHardcoreRed5 June 2005
The remake here was surprisingly good and pretty true to the original movie but will be most enjoyed by Adam Sandler fans or fans of the original. Except for a few exceptions to keep it up to date and a few to screw with those that saw the original, the stories are pretty much identical. The main character were all the same as well, but the supporting cast, especially the guards and cons, were changed up a bit.

Former NFL quarterback Paul Crewe (Sandler, replacing the original Burt Reynolds) is arrested and faces a 3 year sentence for GTA, DUI and I am sure some other stuff which is unimportant. After his sentencing, Warden Hazen (James Cromwell) pulls a few strings to get Crewe placed in his prison so he can coach his semi-pro team. Upon the urging of Captain Knauer (William Fichtner), Crewe declines, which sets the wheels in motion for an eventual game between Crewe and the convicts against Knauer and the guards.

The supporting football players were the real highlights of the movie, most notably Bob Sapp and Kevin Nash (I hate to say it but Nash did a good job. If only he was this good a wrestler), with honorable mentions to Nelly, Michael Irvin, Bill Goldberg, Steve Austin, Bill Romanowski & Brian Bosworth. Also, who could forget Chris Rock as Caretaker? This could not have been cast better.

Overall, A good comedy worth seeing. Especially if you are a Sandler fan.
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7/10
A Great Pre-Summer Film!
blondie197213 May 2005
I too got to see a free-sneak peak of this film in NYC and I'll tell you one thing . . there were no sleepers in the cinema! A very mixed crowd from race to ages here and everyone seemed to be having a great time . . even the teenager who sat behind me who reminded me of every actor when he appeared on the screen .. like Nelly. I haven't had this much fun in the theater in quite awhile. No, it's not a super serious film, but if you like football and the good feeling of revenge you'll love this film. Lots of violent blows from the guards and a little racism, but nothing too "out of the ordinary" . . some great one-liners from Chris Rock's character. A definite #1 film for Memorial Day weekend when it opens. I can see this film bringing in some good dough this summer.
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9/10
Laugh out loud funny
ccvix3 June 2005
I loved this movie! I have seen the original, also, and I have to say that this version is much more fun to watch and should appeal to a wider audience. For those who thought this was going to be a more serious movie for Adam Sandler....what on earth gave you that idea?? It's a comedy. It's meant to be funny and it is. If you are not a fan of Adam Sandler's then don't bother with it, because you won't like it. If you are a fan, I believe you will enjoy it very much. If you have absolutely no sense of humor, as it seems quite a few who have written comments about this movie are lacking just that, then don't bother with it either. I know when my husband and I saw it, the whole audience was roaring with laughter throughout the movie and my husband has informed me that he cannot wait for it to come out on DVD. It was a whole lot of fun to watch and I recommend it highly.
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6/10
Hilarious remake about one of the all-time classic football films
ma-cortes15 January 2008
This remake from Robert Aldrich film deals about a professional quarterback (Adam Sandler in the role of Reynolds)is sent to high-security prison for stealing his sweetheart's car(an unbilled Courtney Cox) . There, the warden chief (James Cromwell substituting to Edward Albert) forces him to put together an inmates team to play his semi-pro made up of wardens(led by William Fitchner substituting to Ed Lauter, here playing a cameo). The disgraced quarterback is caught among brutal wardens(Brian Bosworth,Steve Austin, Todd Holland) and embittered fellows prisoners( Nicholas Turturro,Lobo Sebastian, Bill Goldberg, among others) organizing a strong cons-versus -wardens match . He's helped by sympathetic inmate(Chris Rock) and veteran player con(Burt Reynolds).

This comic bone-crunching comedy is constituted by three parts, the first about introduction characters, the second part deals a football training and the third, dedicated to the game. Delightful serio-comic film about two likable crooks(Sandler, Rock), who became trainers of a motley group. This remake is as violent and humorous as the former film though no originality but rips off situations and scenes. The picture is plenty of violence, bone-crunching brutality, profanities , but also humor and amusing. Agreeable script by Tracy Keenan Wynn and production by Albert S. Ruddy , the same from Aldrich version that was remade in 2001 as ¨Mean machine¨(with Vinnie Jones Jason Statham and David Kelly) the original movie's British title. The motion picture is well directed by Peter Segal, usual director for Adam Sandler(50 first dates, Anger management) and comedies expert( Nutty professor, Naked gun: Final insult, Tommy boy) and recently filming ¨Get Smart¨. Rating: Acceptable rendition from classic movie for those who delight in football sports and crunching cruelty and with some moments very funny.
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6/10
Better than "The Waterboy"
tompeterson515 April 2005
I got to see the same sneak preview movie at the theatre last week.

With all the TV advertising and trailers at the movies I thought the film was coming out soon, but I just checked and they said it won't hit the Cineplex until May 27th!

Prediction? It will the box office winner on Memorial Day weekend. Perfect time to come out with a football picture because all the NFL fans are fed up with Arena football and thirsty for any real football.

Well, what can I say about the movie? Loved it! Very entertaining. You could get into the characters, no matter how despicable they were and you were rooting for them. Of course the story is an old one. They filmed it in 1974 with Burt Reynolds and it is about prisoners playing a football game against the guards. It's a comedy, but boy it is Violent with a capital V.

It is a real macho man movie and everyone is going to love it. Adam Sandler gets beat up or beat down a lot in the movie, they give the best lines and jokes to Chris Rock and there will be a few other Saturday Night Live people you will recognize in it. There are a lot of scenes of cheap shots and unsportsmanlike conduct. Very physical, very brutal. Some scenes will make you cringe. You will feel their pain. Not blood and guts with stabbings or shootings, but extreme football hurts and hits.

Yes it's a comedy and yes it's funny, but also ultra violent, did I mention that already? Now I know why I gave up on football in high school and focused more on Cross Country and Track & Field...because I realized I would live longer if I competed in a sport where no one is trying to injury me or knock you out of competition.

A great film? No, but people will feel they got their money's worth and yes, it will be popular on DVD with outtakes and behind the scenes footage. I can't see it getting a PG-13 rating, not with all the language and use of the "N" word by the cookie cutter, steroid popping sadistic guards.
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8/10
Good movie for a sports fan.
shredsofmetal14 December 2005
Revenge is the one thing on the mind that every prisoner wants to impose on the guards. This idea of revenge is exactly what Paul Crewe (Adam Sandler) does to help motivate other inmates to organize a football team in an inmates vs. guards football game.

The movie opens up with Crewe being chased by cops after he stole a Bentley. The car chase ends with Crewe getting arrested and bragging to his girlfriend by jumping up and down in front of the media helicopters that were covering the chase. Immediately we get to see the personality of Paul Crewe as a cocky spotlight loving person. Crewe is a former NFL player who is the only player to be banned from the league for point shaving. When he enters the jail, he is hated by everybody because he caused so many people to lose bets from the point shaving incident.

An NFL player, or any celebrity usually has special treatment in prison. Crewe's opportunity arises when the prison Warden, Hazen, (James Cromwell) offers Crewe a chance for a nice cell and good words in parole hearings. The offer was to organize the inmates to play the guards in a football team. The point was for the inmates to have such a horrible team, that the guards would win easily and have high enough spirit to be able to compete in their organized league. After vowing to never be involved with football again, Crewe declines the offer. The guards beat up on him, and he is unable to socialize with any inmates. After not wanting to take anymore beatings from the guards, Crewe accepts Hazen's offer.

The first friend that Crewe makes is Caretaker (Chris Rock). Caretaker had already spent a long time in prison and knew most of the inmates. Caretaker helps Crewe with tryouts for the team, but there was no talent. As are most prisons, the Old Main prison is racially separated. Crewe wanted some of the black players on the team, but they wanted nothing to do with football. Megget (Nelly) had a respect for Crewe, and was the first player to join the team. He was an extremely fast runner, but there were not enough players to make a decent team.

Enter Nate Scarborough, (Burt Reynolds) a Heisman Trophy winner, who still lived for football. He helped train the team, but the lack of talent made it so that there is no chance for the inmates to win. After several racial incidents involving guards, many other black players join the team, and the inmates become a decent team. The inmates are ready to face to guards in the battle of revenge they have been waiting for. Most of the inmates only want to play so that they can impose as much pain as possible on the guards. Crewe and Scarborough want to take the respect out of the guards by beating them. They train the teams until the Warden asks Crewe for something that he will not do again; shave points off the score so that the guards can easily defeat the inmates.

The cast of The Longest Yard has many big names. Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds, James Cromwell, and Nelly are the main characters of the movie. On both teams there are many NFL players such as Michael Irwin and Bill Romanowski. One of the best roles in the movie is Chris Berman's cameo as the ESPN announcer during the big game. Berman is the benchmark for football commentating, and for such an important game, it is fitting to have such a personality as Berman.

The visual effects of the film are fantastic. The bone crushing hits are presented well in slow motion and with up close camera shots. The set of the prison gives a realistic sense of a jail as well. It is in the middle of New Mexico with absolutely nothing but desert near it. The sense of isolation is similar to what the prisoners probably feel.

The Longest Yard has the same basic premise as Happy Gilmore but football rather than golf. Adam Sandler is trying to get revenge, but turns to a sport rather than fights. In both movies, I found myself rooting for Sandler's character, and hating the antagonists. This film is not as crude as other Sandler films, but still has plenty of laughs. Chris Rock's humor is similar to his standup as most of the things that Rock says in The Longest Yard has something to do with race. Burt Reynolds is not given a lead role in this movie, but he still has a "tough guy" attitude through his character.

I have not seen the original The Longest Yard, so I cannot compare the remake to the original. While watching the movie, I found myself cheering for the teams as I do when watching the Bears beating the Packers. Chris Rock's character adds a lot of humor to the movie. The one complaint I have with the movie is that the conflicts at the end are not completely resolved, and it is unclear about what will happen in the future. The Longest Yard is not an Oscar worthy masterpiece, but for a typical sports fan, The Longest Yard is a great movie. In all, I give it a rating of 8 out of 10.
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1/10
Remakes: for the ignorant
rams_lakers10 October 2005
Need I say in this review that I hate remakes, especially if the original was a classic? Nothing made today could even come close to the original Longest Yard. The only things there are to gain from a remake are self promotion and profits. Not because they love the movie, but because they want to feed off of what others love.

It's all about money. After all, it's much easier remaking something that's already loved, rather than creating and inventing something from scratch and hoping everyone will like it. That is the bane of today's filmmakers, abandoning creativity and taking the shortcut to success. Now they introduce The Longest Yard to a younger, ignorant audience. Where will it end?

The first scene tries and fails to capture Burt Reynold's classic Paul Crewe from the start. Not only do we see that Sandler is not worthy, but he really has no good reason to crash his girlfriend's car. Of course it is captured on CNN in a heartbeat when realistically cops these days take 20 minutes to even respond to a call unless it involves a life and death situation.

The cons in the original were easy to side with and the Warden and Captain Knauer were much meaner. These 2005 cons are a bunch of lame cocky rap-listening self-absorbed jerks that reflect the "me" athletes of today. I could not find myself rooting for these shallow inmates.

Richard Kiel's original character was copied into being a big dumb bald black fool who had some of the worst lines in the movie. "I LIKE little Michael!" WTF! The classic character of Connie Shokner was turned into some ugly big-jawed Mexican on steroids. Proof enough here that you can't imitate a classic with stupid wannabes.

The gay cheerleader roles were expanded to give Tracy Morgan more air time. A convict is giving out cheeseburgers, how stupid is all this? This whole movie is like watching a WWF wrestling match with all it's brainless chest beating, suitable for rednecks with the brain of a fern. Of course, today's "MTV kids" will love it! My god, get a life!

I saw this at work off a bootleg, thank god I didn't pay for it. I mercifully turned off the DVD before the end, not caring what happened. If this is going to be the sorry result of remakes, the entertainment world is in trouble. I'll give it a 1 of 10 just to knock it lower than the overrated 6.3 rating that the ADD-riddled youngsters of today have given it.
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7/10
It was a'iight
tastyhotdogs11 November 2005
This was the movie I've most wanted to see on DVD for some time. I love great comedy pairings, and even though in the last decade very few have worked (bar Wilson and Stiller), what else are you gonna see at the movies except a braindead action movie, a comic book adaption or an art-house movie that walk out of totally confused?

Anyway, this is a remake of the 70's classic which I never saw. Basically, it's about a washed up,disgraced ex NFL star, who loses the plot one night and crashes a heap of police cars. He goes straight to prison, luckily besides the guards it looks like a lovely place to hang out. Pretty quickly the warden wants to put his football skills to the test and a guards vs crims match is set-up.

It's pretty predictable, and focuses pretty much purely on the football game. There's plenty of stars in the movie, but most went into this one purely to CTC. Rock and Sandler put in pretty lazy performances, although they have a few good one-liners. The best performance comes from Terry Crewe, playing Cheeseburger Eddy. He was also great in "White Chicks", and is likely gonna keep getting these same ridiculous roles for years to come.
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Peter Segal's best film since TOMMY BOY
jellyneckr28 May 2005
In 1994, Peter Segal made his feature film directorial debut with NAKED GUN 33 1/3: THE FINAL INSULT, the hilarious concluding chapter of the NAKED GUN series. His follow-up was the even funnier TOMMY BOY in 1995, one of the best comedies of the 1990s. His next film, MY FELLOW Americans, was pretty funny but failed to generate the same number of laughs as his two previous films. Still, it seemed like Segal was destined to become one of the next great comedy directors. That is until 2000's NUTTY PROFESSOR II: THE KLUMPS, a lame rehash of the 1996 remake. Since then, he's continued to direct pretty mediocre comedies like ANGER MANAGEMENT and 50 FIRST DATES so I had low expectations when I heard he was to direct the THE LONGEST YARD. Luckily, THE LONGEST YARD, his latest movie, is his best film since TOMMY BOY thanks to Segal's great comedic direction. In addition to handling the comedy well, he also does a fantastic job with the football scenes. In fact, I think it is safe to say that because of Segal's direction, THE LONGEST YARD is the best football film of the 2000s so far.

Anybody that knows me knows that if there is one type of movie I hate, it's remakes. There is no reason for them, making them pointless. However, for whatever reason, I actually enjoyed this one. From the great opening shot of a beautiful girl swimming in a pool to the very last shot of Warden Hazen (James Cromwell) getting Gatorade poured all over him, I found myself having a ball. It's just an all around fun film. Everyone does a great job with their roles (especially Sandler and Rock) and for an almost two hour movie, THE LONGEST YARD is fast-paced.

Still, THE LONGEST YARD has its fair share of problems. The rap sound track doesn't seem to fit the picture very well, some of the jokes fall pretty flat(i.e. most of the gay jokes), and there's not nearly as much character development as there was in the original. Despite these flaws, THE LONGEST YARD remains one of the highlights of 2005. Recommended.
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1/10
I thought Mr Deeds was bad... Shame i can't give a '0' rating
iain_greenaway1 February 2006
This was the worst film I have ever seen at the cinema, and I have seen some terrible films in the last 20 years.

It was recommended by a friend of a friend who we can only assume finds Police Academy 7 funny too.

My mate wanted to leave after 10 minutes when we realised there weren't even any good looking women in it to distract us from another moronic Sandler remake e.g. Mr Deeds.

The main premise of this 'comedy' appears to be showcasing how great, popular and hard Adan Sandler is. Sandler seems unable to cast himself as anything other than:

  • a mistreated retard who beats people up


  • the most popular man on Earth who always gets the girl/wins a competition despite the efforts of a rich bad guy.


Considering he was surrounded by a decent support cast in Chris Rock and Burt Reynolds, it's amazing that he felt the need to give the 'funniest' lines to a group of wrestlers. I truly have seen better comic delivery at a nativity play. Steve Austin is the best of a bad bunch and to be honest no-one could be as unfunny as Sandler's best mate Rob 'Deuce Bigalow' Schneider who has a cameo for no reason.

So in summary, never ever watch this film unless you want to not laugh or are trying to split up with someone.

I read somewhere that Sandler was first choice to play the cab driver in Collateral. Maybe they wouldn't cast Rob Schneider in Cruise's role so he declined (?)

Seriously Sandler please, please stop making films. Leave comedy to funny people like Ben Stiller. If you do carry on cos a seven year old once laughed at a fart gag in 'Happy Gilmore', don't do another remake and ruin the memories of a decent original.
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4/10
About As Bad A Mr. Deeds
Matt_Layden12 December 2006
Crewe was a football superstar back in the day, but cast a black eye on the sport when he sold out his team-mates. Then a drunk driving accident sends him to prison, but the thing is the Warden specifically requested he be sent to his prison. Now Crewe has been giving the duty of putting together a football team, full of the inmates. Recruiting is hard, until the inmates find out that they are playing the guards.

Let me just say that I've never seen the original, so my views on this film are not in comparison to it, but as a film on it's own. I'm sitting here asking myself if I should judge this film against other football films, or even other Adam Sandler films. I can't really do that with the latter because it's not like any other Sandler film. It seems that he has grown up out of the stupid jokes that involve him yelling a lot and hitting little kids. This seems to be a softer side, a side that wants to show that he is not just a comedian, but a money making star. If this is a side of Sandler that we will be seeing, then I want to shun him out of the business right now.

I've never seen "Punch Drunk Love" or "Spanglish", so I can't comment on those films, but other then the recent "Click", Sandler hasn't had a good, or even funny, film since The Waterboy. The Longest Yard, if I were to describe it in two words it would be, NOT FUNNY. Now I know it's not suppose to be a flat out comedy, but with comedic actors like Chris Rock and Adam Sandler, you would expect to maybe laugh every once and a while, this is not the case. Mr. Deeds was Sandler's worst film in his career (not including that boat one) and The Longest Yard seems to be giving it a run for it's money. I had a more enjoyable time watching Little Nicky then I did this.

The film is full of clichés. I was rolling my eyes when the mean prison guard gave Sandler the "you're okay" speech at the end, not to mention the useless and meaningless character of Chris Rock, who is only there for sympathy, only there to get a few tears, but it doesn't even work. It's sad really. Let me tell you this, just because there are stars in the remake that were in the original, does not make it "okay" or "good". Does having them in the movie signify some kind of blessing? Give me a break. I can see having wrestlers in the film to play football players and guardss, but they didn't add anything to it. No star value of "Hey, look who it is" because there are so many of them. Also, Nelly makes an appearance, yet another rapper trying to make it in Hollywood. Again, I'm asking myself, what's the purpose? Couldn't get real actors? So you try to reach out to the young crowd, "Hey look, it's NELLY kids."

Now after telling you that the film is full of stupid clichés, that it's not funny and that it tries to pass of rappers and wrestlers as actors, what else is there to tell? How about how it's not even a good football movie? Not once did I ever think that they would lose and not once did I ever think that any of this would ever actually happen. Never would the inmates be wondering around the prison at night. Basically you need to pass on this film, all it consists of is poor McDonald's jokes that never hit the mark. Go watch the original instead…and I haven't even seen it.
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1/10
It just doesn't have the swagger.
SmileysWorld23 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
If this were a story that I were not familiar with,I would go ahead and say that this was another "ok" Adam Sandler film.However,since I am familiar with it,I cannot help but make the comparison to the 1974 classic.It is a matter of which film does a better job of telling the story.I hate to say it,but it isn't this one.When we think of the character of Paul Crewe,we think of the swagger of Burt Reynolds,not the goofiness of Adam Sandler.Chris Rock's Caretaker is in no way comparable to Jim Hampton's portrayal.I mean,Jim Hampton had a way of making us care about the guy.With Rock,you just didn't care as much when the man dies.Also,the story seems to be pushed along a little too quickly here,whereas the original graciously took it's time building up to the exciting finale,which wasn't as exciting here because we know what's coming.I gave this film every chance in the world to be at least comparable to the original,if not better that the original.It did not succeed,and even the presence of original stars Burt Reynolds and Ed Lauter did nothing to help it.A note to Hollywood:The notion that every classic film of old needs to be updated and modernized is thoroughly ridiculous.Leave the old classics alone and just let them be respected for the time period in which they were made.Enough already!
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4/10
This movie is crap
bek-1228 May 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I really hate to say that, because I wanted to like the movie. I just couldn't. It was the same old tired gags that guys like Chris Rock and Adam Sandler have been peddling for years. Sandler had a chance to make a serious motion picture with some real drama, and he blew it. There were various changes made from the original movie, from specific lines to entire scenes, and I honestly can't think of one that was an improvement. All the times where Crewe was a tough, underspoken character that really shined, well... he just became a smartmouth in the new movie. They also "sanitized" a couple of scenes that really bothered me...

**SPOILER ALERT** Crewe no longer slaps the girlfriend at the beginning, but now locks her in a closet. Not a big change, and at the time I didn't think much about it, but later on when it's revealed that he actually did shave points for money, the new movie subtly changes it so that a reason is given, and he says that his life was in danger if he didn't do it. I guess Sandler wasn't happy with Crewe having real, human flaws like the rest of us, and needed to justify Crewe's actions. I liked the original better, where Crewe just made a mistake and felt regret for doing it. It somehow felt more real to me.

**END OF SPOILERS** They basically turned a great movie into a movie with nothing but cheap gags. It was very disappointing.
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3/10
No Wonder Eddie Albert Just Kicked
VermonterVol29 May 2005
I would echo the sentiments of those who said this is a very pale imitation of the original. No wonder Eddie Albert died the day before its release. I didn't believe any of the actors because of the poor character development -- the dialog was extremely wooden, even from Cromwell, who can do much better. Sandler showed no emotion and gave the audience little reason to support of empathize with him. Rock does a good job ad-libbing through a poorly re-written script (the original screenplay by Tracy Keenan Wynn was great. He must be cringing through every minute watching this hash). I found myself for much of the movie comparing scenes, line delivery and dialog with the original. And nine times out of 10, the remake came up lacking. Sadly, Hollywood is not going to get the message we all want this poorly made film to deliver, because it will do extremely well at the box office thanks to the casting of Sandler, Nelly and the ex-jocks, bringing a built-in audience. Only source of enjoyment to me were the less obvious cameos, including Dan Patrick as the Miami traffic cop.
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9/10
Longest Yard... Touchdown!
dumassays23 June 2005
I haven't laughed like that in a long while. Welcome back Adam Sandler. Sandler hasn't offered a performance of this scale and quality since Happy Gilmore. With movies like Punch Drunk Love and Eight Crazy Nights, you had to ask yourself if Sandler had lost his golden touch, though he did save himself with his dramatic roles in Spanglish and 50 First Dates. Sandler, like Jim Carrey and Robin Williams, really belongs in the comedic roles, where quick wit and obvious ad lib are not only welcomed but expected. Sandler absolutely dominates in this film.

He wasn't hurting for supporting characters either, Chris Rock's role as Caretaker is a bit unbelievable, but he delivers his lines with his well known stand-up approach to comedy. He's funny and lovable, a definite asset to the movie. Burt Reynolds, taking on the senior role this time around, as opposed to the lead in the '74 version, obviously has a lessor impact on the story, but he plays it well with his hard nosed, shy but deadly, attitude. Then there is Terry Crews as Cheeseburger Eddy... if you thought that this guy was funny in White Chicks, then you can expect more of the same hilarity in The Longest Yard. Every scene with Crews is laugh out loud.

I didn't know what to expect from this movie being that it was a remake, but I can say with sincerity that I was truly impressed with the acting and story line. With characters like Sasquatch, Mc-Asshole and Colonel Sanders, it would be difficult not to be. This movie is not to be missed!
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1/10
One of the worst films let alone remakes that I've ever seen...
stephenjamesb-122 December 2007
There have been some good remakes and there have been some bad remakes of great films... Then there was this film (I'm being kind when I refer to it as a film) Now you take a film that is a classic, which the 1974 version is most certainly one of the best sports movies ever made.. The idea was fresh, funny and well done... Then 31 years later this truly dreadful movie gets released.. The whole problem was trying to do a carbon copy of the original film.. But they failed to even make a copy of the original film.. The original had character development with Crewe, Caretaker, Nate Scarboro, Captain Knauer, Warden Hazen and Unger.. This didn't...

The film failed to create character development, it was introduce the characters give them a few insights and then just cut to the football game... It was like the filmmakers actually believed taking shortcuts in the actual story and relying on the people who actually enjoyed the first movie to know about the backstory..

Other problems with the film was just throwing in so many homophobic stereotypes and other racial jokes that truly detracted from what would have been moderately passable film.

This was all in the first 25 minutes until I got so annoyed with a total waste of celluloid that I turned it off and watched the original..

If they were smart enough they should have continued on the story not just have remade it, use the ideal that was established in the original film where Burt Reynolds (Paul Crewe) is still in prison for pissing off Eddie Albert (Warden Hazen) much like John Steadman (Pop) did, then have Sandler's character whatever they would call him be arrested for something similar.. If they did that then they could of had a good movie.. They didn't.. SO you got this piece of garbage..
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3/10
the stereotypes were horrible!
starlite_starbrite29 October 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I just saw this movie for the first time. I really like sports movies, so I was expecting to like it. But within the first 15 minutes there were so many stereotypes and really derogatory comments that I was disgusted. But, I didn't have the opinion to stop watching it (I was on a bus with 40 other people).

I was so shocked that they would do that. I mean, they talked about black people, white people, and gay/transvestite people is a way that you would think that the writers had never really met any of those people. The stereotypes of the black people was everything you would expect. Trash talking, playing dirty. They are even playing street basketball. The white people are just as bad. The one that shocked me the most was the portrayal of the transvestites. These people were shown in such a bad way. It was suggested that they kind of slept around and that they pushed their sexual orientation onto everyone. Granted, I have never been in prison. But those kind of people do not act like that in the real world. At least not the kind that I've met. If a person didn't know the facts, they could easily assume that's how all transvestites act. And I would think that in a country like ours, people would come to be a little more respectful and not pull stuff like that.

I was basically appalled by the writing of this movie. It is one thing to write to what the audience wants to see. It is a totally different subject to write characters based on stereotypes and misconceptions. The writers really need to think about what they are writing next time.
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4/10
Quite Mediocre
jmverville28 May 2005
Though this film was riddled with occasionally funny portions, I found that overall much of the humor was offensive and predictable. A lot of the material was not original and seemed as if it was rehashed, had been done before many a time.

Furthermore, it seemed s if within the humor of the film they occasionally lost track of the main plot of the film. Plus, the plot was so dry and drawn out that one almost wished that they had totally thrown it out the window and ran without it. There were also rather surreal moments of corniness that jolted me, being suddenly taken into the realm of the melodramatic after laughing at some juvenile humor.

Overall, the film was not well put together and not that funny for a comedy. Not a great accomplishment. I do not really recommend anyone to see this film.
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2/10
The Longest Yard, or a McDonald's commercial ?
MovieDave27 May 2005
Now I'm not one to bash movies very often, but sadly, this movie deserves a bit of bashing. I found this movie to be one of the poorest re-makes I have seen in all of the years I have been watching, and writing about movies. This Longest Yard lacked all of the personality, characters, and true feeling of the original. Sure, there were some funny lines, but plain and simple, this movie does the original no justice at all. Secondly, I certainly understand product placement in today's movies, but to be completely honest with you, this film was more of a commercial for McDonald's than anything else. For those of us who loved the "Real Longest Yard", I leave you with this thought, buy the original on DVD - you will be glad you did ! HIS-TO-RY. (By the way, what happened to the warden's assistant?)
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