Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
Eric Roberts | ... | Maximus Powers | |
Charlie Schlatter | ... | Mike Saunders | |
Joyce Giraud | ... | Julie | |
Stuart Pankin | ... | Noah | |
Evan Marriott | ... | Joe Millionaire | |
Michael Jackson | ... | Agent M.J. | |
Eugene Greytak | ... | Your Holiness (as Gene Greytak) | |
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Richard Halpern | ... | Groovy Guy |
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Lyle J. Mortensen | ... | Vice Persident |
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Douglas Dunning | ... | Commander Harry |
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Patrick Mares | ... | The President |
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Stuart Rigby | ... | Ron Philips |
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Kamilla Bjorlin | ... | Holly |
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Audra Wise | ... | Tina |
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Juanita A. Romano | ... | Alaska |
"Miss Cast Away" (aka "Island Girl") is a mix of "There's Something About Mary" and "Scary Movie" crosses "Cast Away" with "Miss Congeniality." What happens when a plane-load of beauty contestants, on it's way to the Miss Galaxy Pageant, crash-lands on a deserted island? Pilots, Mike Saunders and Maximus Power learn how to survive with a bevvie of beautiful women -- of which none have ever even gone camping. Soon the castaways discover the ancient Noah's ark on the island. The lost ark is being guarded by an oversized prehistoric pig (Jurassic Pork). Noah is boarding apes (a la Planet of the Apes) and our survivors have got to stop his plan and use the ark to get off the island. Written by Sarah (superstar_gurl_05@hotmail.com)
Three questions arise in my mind when watching this movie, "What?", "Why?" and "How come this in not over yet?"
There are random things happening all through the movie that make you wonder what the heck is going on. One or two unexplained things, sure, but there are so many of these random events that it makes your head spin. When you finally figure out what is going on (is it joke, or actually part of the plot?) the next question is why, why is this nonsensical thing happening? It's completely ridiculous.
I figure it out at the end, all the weird stuff going on is part of some subplot or other, and they do actually tie all of them up in the end (in a haphazard and untidy fashion but still) but the problem is that there is no main plot, only subplot, the end result is a nearly unwatchable mess.
To top it all off there is a large amount of unfunny jokes thrown in here and there, much like in Epic Movie, which is not a good thing. The only reason I give this 2/10 instead of 1/10 is the laughable green screen effects, they are much funnier than the jokes.