Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
Eric Roberts | ... | Maximus Powers | |
Charlie Schlatter | ... | Mike Saunders | |
Joyce Giraud | ... | Julie | |
Stuart Pankin | ... | Noah | |
Evan Marriott | ... | Joe Millionaire | |
Michael Jackson | ... | Agent M.J. | |
Eugene Greytak | ... | Your Holiness (as Gene Greytak) | |
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Richard Halpern | ... | Groovy Guy |
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Lyle J. Mortensen | ... | Vice Persident |
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Douglas Dunning | ... | Commander Harry |
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Patrick Mares | ... | The President |
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Stuart Rigby | ... | Ron Philips |
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Kamilla Bjorlin | ... | Holly |
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Audra Wise | ... | Tina |
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Juanita A. Romano | ... | Alaska |
"Miss Cast Away" (aka "Island Girl") is a mix of "There's Something About Mary" and "Scary Movie" crosses "Cast Away" with "Miss Congeniality." What happens when a plane-load of beauty contestants, on it's way to the Miss Galaxy Pageant, crash-lands on a deserted island? Pilots, Mike Saunders and Maximus Power learn how to survive with a bevvie of beautiful women -- of which none have ever even gone camping. Soon the castaways discover the ancient Noah's ark on the island. The lost ark is being guarded by an oversized prehistoric pig (Jurassic Pork). Noah is boarding apes (a la Planet of the Apes) and our survivors have got to stop his plan and use the ark to get off the island. Written by Sarah (superstar_gurl_05@hotmail.com)
First, I would like to apologize for my rating of "1"... The only reason i give this film such a high rating is that I can't delve into negative integers. All "This is a spoof" musings aside, and while I certainly have tried to give it due consideration, have left me with a certain notion, namely; "This is quite possibly the worst film ever made." On any level and in any plausible quantification of qualitative measurement... Seriously, I tried, I'm just as in to any indie born-for-cult-video-distribution film as the next buff, but seriously, this movie sucked rhino balls...
Honestly, if I had directed this "film" I would have seen it as a legitimate cause for suicide.