Armed & Dangerous (2003 Video Game)
Rexus: Ohh, I never liked this place. Scarier than a room full of Germans.
Rexus: [using a Jedi Mind trick] You don't need to see our papers.
Guards: [under Rexus's control] We don't need to see your papers.
Rexus: You're um... you're um...
Guards: [under Rexus's control] We're um... we're um...
Rexus: Quick! What should I say to them? I'm running out of power!
Guards: [under Rexus's control] Quick, what should he say to us? He's running out of power.
Q: Tell them they're both teapots!
Jonesy: No, Scottish miners!
Rome: Look, just tell 'em we're not the ones they're looking for.
Rexus: Wait, I got it! You're both... *French*!
Guards: [drop their guns and throw their hands up] We surrender!
Rexus: Now let's get moving, the Lady of the Pond waits.
Rome: [examining Rexus] He's freezing, we gotta warm him up or he'll die.
Q: No problem, here's a little trick I learned back in Khalios during the Lime-Dixon War.
Rome: Good idea, mate.
Rome: I've seen this done before. He'll split open the dead beast's stomach and then stick Rexus amongst the warm entrails. Should keep him warm for at least a day.
Jonesy: Right, I'll be off here vomiting.
Q: No, that's not necessary. Just, stick 'em in there!
[Q shoves Rexus inside a giant creature's anus. The creature wakes up and runs at fast speed with Rexus still inside]
Q: Ahh, works better when they're dead.
Messenger: I am the King's messenger, Sparks. What is it you want?
Rome: We have some demands for the King.
Messenger: Sorry, you're going to have to speak up. I'm a little hard of hearing. Now you're saying you're offering some Lamaze classes for the King?
Rome: No, no, *demands* for the King!
Messenger: Right, well tell me what you want and I'll relay the information.
[later, he sees the King]
Messenger: Your highness.
King: What is it they want?
Messenger: Thank you, sir, I made it myself.
King: [shouts] What do they want?
Rome: [previously] Tell the King, we want to have a talk with him.
Messenger: [to the king] They want to walk with you.
Rome: And that we have his son.
Messenger: [to the king] They have loads of guns so no worries there.
Rome: Tell him we want Lilly back.
Messenger: [to the king] They say they want their willies back.
Rome: I'm starting to like this. Yeah, yeah, and some yummy food and lodging.
Messenger: [to the King] And after that they want a bloody lewd rogering.
Rexus: Friends, I am but an old man. My knees are weak, my back is stiff, and I'm about as incontinent as they come. But there's one thing I do know, upon our shoulders lie the hopes and dreams of an entire nation and I'll be *damned* if I'm not going to do anything about it!
Jonesy: Bastard's stealing our thunder.
Rexus: Wait! Give me another chance! It's been a long time since I've kissed a man! I CAN DO BETTER!