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Armed & Dangerous (Video Game 2003) Poster

(2003 Video Game)

Quotes

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Rexus: Ohh, I never liked this place. Scarier than a room full of Germans.

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Rexus: [using a Jedi Mind trick] You don't need to see our papers.

Guards: [under Rexus's control] We don't need to see your papers.

Rexus: You're um... you're um...

Guards: [under Rexus's control] We're um... we're um...

Rexus: Quick! What should I say to them? I'm running out of power!

Guards: [under Rexus's control] Quick, what should he say to us? He's running out of power.

Q: Tell them they're both teapots!

Jonesy: No, Scottish miners!

Rome: Look, just tell 'em we're not the ones they're looking for.

Rexus: Wait, I got it! You're both... *French*!

Guards: [drop their guns and throw their hands up] We surrender!

[run away]

Rexus: Now let's get moving, the Lady of the Pond waits.

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Rome: [examining Rexus] He's freezing, we gotta warm him up or he'll die.

Q: No problem, here's a little trick I learned back in Khalios during the Lime-Dixon War.

Rome: Good idea, mate.

Jonesy: What?

Rome: I've seen this done before. He'll split open the dead beast's stomach and then stick Rexus amongst the warm entrails. Should keep him warm for at least a day.

Jonesy: Right, I'll be off here vomiting.

Q: No, that's not necessary. Just, stick 'em in there!

[Q shoves Rexus inside a giant creature's anus. The creature wakes up and runs at fast speed with Rexus still inside]

Q: Ahh, works better when they're dead.

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Shrub Patrol: DEATH TO THE SALAD EATERS!

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Messenger: I am the King's messenger, Sparks. What is it you want?

Rome: We have some demands for the King.

Messenger: Sorry, you're going to have to speak up. I'm a little hard of hearing. Now you're saying you're offering some Lamaze classes for the King?

Rome: No, no, *demands* for the King!

Messenger: Right, well tell me what you want and I'll relay the information.

[later, he sees the King]

Messenger: Your highness.

King: What is it they want?

Messenger: Thank you, sir, I made it myself.

King: [shouts] What do they want?

Rome: [previously] Tell the King, we want to have a talk with him.

Messenger: [to the king] They want to walk with you.

Rome: And that we have his son.

Messenger: [to the king] They have loads of guns so no worries there.

Rome: Tell him we want Lilly back.

Messenger: [to the king] They say they want their willies back.

Rome: I'm starting to like this. Yeah, yeah, and some yummy food and lodging.

Messenger: [to the King] And after that they want a bloody lewd rogering.

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Rexus: Friends, I am but an old man. My knees are weak, my back is stiff, and I'm about as incontinent as they come. But there's one thing I do know, upon our shoulders lie the hopes and dreams of an entire nation and I'll be *damned* if I'm not going to do anything about it!

[applause]

Jonesy: Bastard's stealing our thunder.

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Rexus: Wait! Give me another chance! It's been a long time since I've kissed a man! I CAN DO BETTER!

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[repeated line]

Rome: Ah yes, the power of the bullet.

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Rome: [after shooting down a zeppelin] Oh, the humanity!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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