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The Onion Movie ()


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Satirical interpretations of world events and curious human behavior.

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Cast

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Daniel Chacón ...
Young American / Cock Puncher
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Sensei
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Cock Puncher
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Dennis McCormick
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Dolores McCormick
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Roseanne McCormick
Reid Weaver ...
Dennis McCormick, Jr.
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Typical Neighbor Husband
Adele Robbins ...
Typical Neighbor Wife
Jason L. Miller ...
Sooty Firefighter
Brendon Baerg ...
Sooty Child
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Norm Archer
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Dana Dobbs
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Kip Kendall
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Alzheimers Old Lady
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Alzheimers Guys in Crowd
Sam Menning ...
Alzheimers Guys in Crowd
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Producer
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Producer
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Melissa Cherry
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Himself
Karl Montgomery ...
African Child (as Karl Montgomery Jr.)
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Dibo
Steven Kozlowski ...
White Trash Dude
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Surgeon General
Archie Howard ...
Fat Man
Howard Shur ...
Smoker
Todd Hanson ...
Smoker Driver
Arthur Kendall ...
Bud Schwartz
Ira Gewant ...
Brunno Tucci
Christopher Weeks ...
Rolly Ingersoll
Edward Ansara ...
Skink Bradley
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Raggles Wimpole
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Uncle Smackers (as Mousie Garner)
Helen Geller ...
Mavis De Haven
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Kenneth Garber
Murphy Dunne ...
Raymond Marcus
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The Masses
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Rapist Lisa
Griffin M. Creech ...
Rapist Policeman
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Ivy Leaguer
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Rapist Uncle
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Rape Victim Julie
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Board Game Woman
John Gibson Miller ...
Steel Beam Construction Guy
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Steel Beam Architect
Ben Braat ...
Dutch Dad
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Peruvian
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Peruvian
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Arab Terrorist
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Young Terrorist
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Ahmed
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Ahman
Ryan Bosch ...
White Black Guy Bill
Leslie Duke ...
White Black Guy Jenny
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White Black Guy Tim
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White Black Guy Policeman
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White Black Guy Policeman
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White Black Guy Judge
Chris Karwowski ...
White Black Guy Jury Foreman
Michael Harte ...
Pentagon General
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Pentagon General
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Pentagon Officer
Sean Conroy ...
Landmine Salesman
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Landmine Boss
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Recruitment Officer
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Line-Up Detective (as Michael J. Harney)
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Prisoner
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Prisoner
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Prisoner Dad
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Girl Greeting Prisoner
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Kwame Roberts
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James Nakatami
Troy L. Collins ...
Dashante Jackson
Daniel Colembie ...
McSorley's Bartender
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Upstanding Black Man
Jerry Giles ...
Dave Kostman
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Peen Out Guy
Mike Loew ...
Library Penis Man
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Penis Pal Glen
Martin Morales ...
Penis Ethnic Man
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Skooter Boy
Michael R. Dowell ...
Penis Businessman
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Businessman
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Bates Computer Customer
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Bates Computer Salesman Dirk
Maria Schneider ...
Bates Computer Customer's Wife
Dustin Seavey ...
Bates Temp Dude
Bill Dearth ...
Bates Businessman
Gregorio ...
Bates Delivery Man (as Z.C. Harris)
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Bates Manager (as James Michael Connor)
Michael Delaney ...
Gil Bates
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Bryce Brand
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Bryce's Manager
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Porn Star
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Porn Star
Gauge ...
Porn Star
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Brendan Laroux
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Studio Executive
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Cooking Show Host
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Cooking Show Chef
Charley Beil ...
Wizards Gamer (as Charles Beil)
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Wizard Gamer (as Dan Benson)
Adam Crosby ...
Wizard Gamer
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Wizard Proteus
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Wizards Dragonmaster
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Hippie Diplomant
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Man in Suit
Cory McAbee ...
Man in Suit
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Slovesevic (as Eugene Lazarev)
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Birajko
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Bank Gunman
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Second Bank Gunman (as Mõ)
Sarah DeVincentis ...
Bank Customer
Michelle Buffone ...
Bank Liz Anne (as Michele Buffone)
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Bank Mr. Poniewicz
Cory Nartatez ...
Gay Guy
Savastian Padilla ...
Gay Guy (as Savastion Padilla)
Bruce Stevenson ...
Gay Guy
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Gay Guy (as Christopher Villa)
Kenneth C. Rosier ...
Presidential Advisor
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Himself
Ivan Klipstein ...
Subscription Card Man
Hanna Bluth ...
Little Girl
Jennifer Saurenman ...
Mother
Tanya Ballinger ...
Cockpuncher Entourage
Kamela Forbes ...
Cockpuncher Entourage
Neva Massey ...
Cockpuncher Entourage
Eleanor Mercado ...
Cockpuncher Entourage
Karen Miller ...
Cockpuncher Entourage
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Cockpuncher Entourage
André Costa ...
Cameraman
Destiny Lightsy ...
God Bless America Dancer
Michon Suyama ...
God Bless America Dancer
Vai Tiare ...
Melissa Cherry Video Dancer (as Vaitiare Au-Harehoe)
Kato Bonner ...
Melissa Cherry Video Dancer
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Melissa Cherry Video Dancer
Brandy Lamkin ...
Melissa Cherry Video Dancer
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Melissa Cherry Video Dancer
Tomasina Parrott ...
Melissa Cherry Video Dancer
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Lollipop Love Dancer
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Lollipop Love Dancer
Dante Harper ...
Lollipop Love Dancer (as Danté Harper)
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Lollipop Love Dancer (as Robert James Hoffman III)
Lucas Raynaud ...
Lollipop Love Dancer
Dave Scott ...
Lollipop Love Dancer
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Lollipop Love Dancer
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
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Global Tetrahedron Penguin (voice)
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Arab Lover
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Melissa Cherry Video Dancer
Ahmed B. Badran ...
Peruvian (uncredited)
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Voice Actor (uncredited)
Kathie Barnes ...
Concerned Mother (uncredited)
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Wigger Jim (uncredited)
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Texas Chainsaw Killer (uncredited)
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UPS Delivery Man (uncredited)
Martez Covington ...
(uncredited)
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Suicide Bomber (uncredited)
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Nicholas Van Essen (uncredited)
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Terrorist (uncredited)
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Attorney (uncredited)
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Librarian (uncredited)
Mohammed Hassan ...
Terrorist (uncredited)
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(uncredited)
Eloise Lynch ...
Britney Spears Fan (uncredited)
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Announcer (uncredited)
Ronald McAdams ...
Drunken Irishman (uncredited)
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Office Worker (uncredited)
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Heavy Girl (uncredited)
Christopher Nissley ...
Terrorist Training Video Announcer (uncredited)
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Office Worker (uncredited)
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Host a Rape Tape Gal (uncredited)
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Taliban Terrorist (uncredited)
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'Yarn-it-All' Employee (uncredited)
Channing Swift ...
Ice Hockey Fan (uncredited)
Tony Swift ...
Ice Hockey Fan (uncredited)
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Pot Smoker Girl at Board Game Party (uncredited)
Melissa Zanit ...
Yearbook Girl (uncredited)

Directed by

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Tom Kuntz ... (as James Kleiner)
Mike Maguire ... (as James Kleiner)

Written by

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Todd Hanson ... (written by) &
Robert Siegel ... (written by)

Produced by

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Kevin Halloran ... co-producer
David Miner ... producer
Gil Netter ... producer
Michael Rotenberg ... producer
Jason Weiss ... co-producer
David Zucker ... producer

Music by

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Asche & Spencer
Thad Spencer

Cinematography by

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Maryse Alberti

Film Editing by

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Frederick Wardell

Editorial Department

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David Bilow ... apprentice editor
Ted Brady ... final colorist
Marisa Clayton ... post-production coordinator: Modern VideoFilm
Jesus De Santiago ... post-production assistant
Carolina Hoyos ... post-production coordinator
Eric Osmond ... first assistant editor
Michael Struk ... additional assistant editor
JoAnne Yarrow ... editorial production assistant
Steve Barnett ... post-production consultant (uncredited)
Valance Eisleben ... high definition editorial services (uncredited)

Casting By

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Justine Arteta ... (as Justine Baddeley)

Production Design by

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Jon Gary Steele

Art Direction by

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Kevin Kavanaugh

Costume Design by

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Casey Storm

Makeup Department

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Stephanie A. Fowler ... makeup artist
Robert Maverick ... special makeup effects artist
Debra Schrey ... key makeup artist
Laine Trzinski ... hair department head

Production Management

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Brad Goodman ... post-production supervisor
Kevin Halloran ... production manager
Kimberly Rach ... production supervisor

Second Unit Director or Assistant Director

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William Paul Clark ... first assistant director

Art Department

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Ruben Abarca ... drapery foreman
Todd Ellis ... property master
Tracy Gaydos ... art department coordinator
Allison Gross ... property assistant
Robyn B. Holmes ... buyer
Gary A. Krakoff ... construction coordinator
Kevin Loo ... art department assistant
Danny Ronay ... stand-by painter
Clint Schultz ... graphic designer
Tim Y. Wetzel ... assistant property master
Nancy Lowry ... assistant property master: day player (uncredited)

Sound Department

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Christopher Briles ... foley recordist
Michael Brown ... foley artist
Jesse Green ... sound
Larry Hopkins ... layback sound mixer
Jason Johnston ... second boom operator
Donald Lyles ... re-recording mixer
Chris Navarro ... adr recordist
David Obermeyer ... sound mixer
John Rotondi ... chief engineer
Clancy T. Troutman ... supervising sound editor
David John West ... re-recording mixer
Scott Westley ... sound designer
Ronald L. Wright ... boom operator
John Soukup ... sound transfer (uncredited)

Special Effects by

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Mark R. Byers ... special effects supervisor

Visual Effects by

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Kent Johnson ... visual effects supervisor
Frank Lawas ... visual effects I/O supervisor
Jerry P. Magana ... visual effects producer
Curt Miller ... digital supervisor
Johnny Wilson ... digital compositor

Stunts

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Keith Adams ... stunt coordinator
Randall Archer ... stunt rigger
Richard Burden ... stunt driver
Eddie J. Fernandez ... stunts
Justin Rodgers Hall ... stunts
Dennis Keiffer ... stunts
Hubie Kerns Jr. ... stunt driver
Henry Kingi Jr. ... stunts
Hiro Koda ... action wire coordinator / stunts
Theo Kypri ... stunts
Samuel Le ... stunts (as Xuyen 'Sam' Valdivia)
Dan Lemieux ... stunts
Rob Mars ... stunts
Jeff Podgurski ... stunt double: Steven Seagal
Matthew Rugetti ... utility stunts
Spencer Sano ... stunt performer
Ryan Staats ... stunts
Steve Upton ... rigging coordinator
David Wald ... stunts
Thom Williams ... utility stunts
Marcus Young ... stunts

Camera and Electrical Department

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Henry Cline ... camera operator
Brian Evans ... assistant chief lighting technician
Ben Kaller ... still photographer
Kia Kiso ... camera loader (as Kia Dawson)
Len Levine ... gaffer
Jeffrey S. Lorenz ... first assistant camera
Gary Lowrance ... electrician
Michael Lowrance ... electrician
Jesse Olivares ... key video engineer
Tony Olivieri ... first assistant camera
William Robinson ... assistant camera
Brent Studler ... electrician

Casting Department

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Jessica Gee-George ... adr voice casting
Grant George ... adr voice casting
Michael Hothorn ... casting executive
Kelly Hunt ... extras casting (uncredited)

Costume and Wardrobe Department

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Stacy Horn ... costume supervisor
Jee Ok ... set costumer
Jennifer Parker ... costumer

Location Management

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Briana Burke ... location manager
Richard DiPatri ... assistant location manager
R. Scott Poole ... location scout
Paul Schreiber ... location scout

Music Department

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Michael Dittrick ... music editor
Avital Korin ... music editor
Alan Omerovic ... music scoring mixer
Tom Scott ... composer: additional music
Chris Tedesco ... musician: trumpet
Richard Werbowenko ... composer: additional music

Transportation Department

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Bruce Comtois ... driver: cast
Erik Coutts ... driver: production van
Geno Hart ... transportation coordinator
Kirk Huston ... transportation captain
Hugh Kelly ... transportation
Steve Larson ... driver
Esteban Munoz ... mechanic
Hardy Ophuls ... picture car coordinator
Julie Sanders ... transportation dispatcher

Other crew

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Emily Aaronson ... set production assistant
Maxine Bergen ... additional script supervisor
Erik Bright ... unit publicist
Patty Connolly ... voice actor
Kyle Cookmeyer ... production assistant
Ted M. Davila ... first accounting assistant
Jesus De Santiago ... production assistant
Karen Golden ... script supervisor
Doris Hellmann ... production accountant
Kelly Kiernan ... production executive
Kris Lahd ... assistant to producer
Heather Long ... animal coordinator
Brian McMillan ... animal supplier
Cheryl Miller ... production coordinator
Daniel A. Mondschain ... additional production coordinator
Jeanmarie Murphy-Burke ... publicity notes
David E. Van Houten ... publicist
Craig Vegas ... production assistant
Lisa Wallace ... assistant to director

Production Companies

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Distributors

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Special Effects

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Other Companies

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Storyline

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Plot Summary

We watch the Onion News, America's Finest News Source, with Dana Dobbs, Senior Correspondent Kip Kendall, and award-winning anchor Norm Archer. In addition to watching the news, we see the program's commercials, some commentary on the film as it proceeds, and we watch some terrorists in training. Behind the scenes, Onion News's corporate owner, Global Tetrahedron, seeks synergy by promoting its other products within Norm's news broadcast. Norm doesn't like it, especially when a toy penguin (think Energizer Bunny) waddles across his desk promoting a Global Tetrahedron film starring Steven Seagal. But Norm may end up needing Steven's help. Written by

Plot Keywords
Taglines America's finest news source. See more »
Genres
Parents Guide View content advisory »
Certification

Additional Details

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Also Known As
  • Onion Movie (United States)
  • Untitled Onion Sketch Comedy Project (United States)
  • The Untitled Onion Movie (United States)
  • News Movie (United Kingdom)
  • News Movie (France)
  • See more »
Runtime
  • 86 min
Country
Language
Color
Filming Locations

Did You Know?

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Trivia The character of "Melissa Cherry" is an apparent spoof of singer Britney Spears. Ironically, Spears' future ex-husband Kevin Federline has a cameo in the film as a back-up dancer in one of Melissa Cherry's videos. See more »
Goofs Liz Anne has a cut on the left side of her forehead which disappears when Armed gunman is promoted to customer advisor. See more »
Movie Connections Featured in An American Carol (2008). See more »
Soundtracks Down On My Knees See more »
Crazy Credits Watch after the credits as Norm Archer comes on screen sitting at his news-desk saying "For the Onion News, this is Norm Archer. Fuck you and Good Night". See more »
Quotes Norm Archer: The internet went down for three hours this morning, plunging the nation into productivity. The outage, which caused major work startages from New York to California, prevented an estimated 120 million American employees from messing around on the web at work.
See more »

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