Credited cast: | |||
Paul Lynde | ... | Self / Big Ruby Red / Sheik | |
Tim Conway | ... | Dynamite Dan / Long Haul Howard / Seymore | |
Roz Kelly | ... | Self / Hinky Pinky (as Roz 'Pinky Tuscadero' Kelly) | |
Margaret Hamilton | ... | Housekeeper / The Wicked Witch of the West | |
Billie Hayes | ... | Witchiepoo | |
Billy Barty | ... | Gallows | |
Florence Henderson | ... | Self / Cecily Westinghouse | |
Betty White | ... | Miss Halloween | |
KISS | ... | Themselves | |
Donny Osmond | ... | Self | |
Marie Osmond | ... | Self | |
Rest of cast listed alphabetically: | |||
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Biff Manard | ... | Biker Wedding Clergy |
Paul Lynde attempts to celebrate Christmas, Easter and Valentine's Day before his housekeeper, Margaret, gives him the bad news. It's Halloween: the time of the year when a kid can carve up a pumpkin and Lynde's sports car at the same time. Lynde is no fan of ignorant youngsters, who seem to know more about Alice Cooper than Alice Faye. Margaret drives her employer to her sister's house, so he can escape the little pranksters. Unluckily, the sister turns out to be Witchipoo; and Margaret herself is the Wicked Witch of the West. The two witches believe witches in general have a bad rap. And so they want Lynde to be their spokes-human. In return, they give him three wishes. Lynde uses two of them to become a rhinestone trucker and a romantic sheik. Meanwhile, KISS performs three songs and Florence Henderson sings a disco version of "That Old Black Magic." Written by J. Spurlin
The planets align, the time capsule opens, and out pops Paul Lynde's 1976 Halloween special for ABC, finally released on DVD. Lay off the mind-altering substances if you watch this. This relic is enough of a mind-blower.
Avant-garde in its stupidity, the special features Paul in a variety of skits with a Halloween theme. See Paul trapped in a castle run by witches, played by Margaret Hamilton and Billie Hayes. See Paul as the Rhinestone Trucker, competing with Tim Conway for the affections of Roz Kelly (Pinkie Tuscadero from "Happy Days.") See Paul as the Chic Sheikh, wooing Florence Henderson. See Florence lip-sync her way through "That Old Black Magic," and see Paul bump and grind with Roz Kelly as she warbles "Disco Lady." Also lending a hand — as if that weren't enough — are Donny and Marie, Betty White and Billy Barty.
Of course, this special is best known as KISS' network debut, and they do "Detroit, Rock City," "Beth" and "King of the Nighttime World" on a bizarre stage with orange neon bats and dancers with fluorescent wigs. It would only be a matter of time before the band made "KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park," another surrealistically stupid masterpiece.
The bonus features on the S'More DVD are disappointing, with some unremarkable quotes from Paul's interviews, a collection of archive photos (with barely readable captions), and a "Name that Quip" trivia challenge. An audio interview with "Hollywood Squares" host Peter Marshall, however, is remarkably candid.
I can't guarantee you'll laugh – I did, though not always for the right reasons – but you're certain to be astonished. For better or worse, they don't make 'em like this anymore!