The Honeymooners (2005)
Ralph Kramden: Unlike most dogs, Eggy is a survivor. Like Seabiscuit,Rocky or Destiny's Child.
Ralph Kramden: Trixie makes Ed french toast.
Alice Kramden: That's because Ed is not on trimspa.
Ralph Kramden: Oh! You got jokes. You're just a regular UPN sitcom, Alice.
Ralph Kramden: [after getting kicked out of the pool hall and then Ed's phone rings] What are you doing? We got to get back in there.
Ed Norton: [Ed picks up the message on his phone] No time to play. We've got a major back up in the sewer system.
Ralph Kramden: How come every time we go out they call you?
Ed Norton: I'm a specialist. It's like being a brain surgeon or Spider-Man.
Ralph Kramden: Yeah, but Spider-Man won't let us get our asses beat down in a pool hall.
Alice Kramden: You are certifiable, you know that? You ought to have your head examined!
Ralph Kramden: I'll have my head examined anywhere in the United States, and you know what they're gonna find when they look in there? Nothing!
[Realizing what he said]
Ralph Kramden: Uh...
Ralph Kramden: Ah ah ah ah ah! Take the wife, leave the french toast!
Alice Kramden: Hi, how can I help you today?
William Davis: Yes, uh, Alice, I would like an egg-white omelette, and if I could get a clean glass of water.
Alice Kramden: Well, precious, we don't separate our eggs here and that's about as clean as it's gonna get.
William Davis: Well, what do you have that's similar to an egg-white omelette?
Alice Kramden: Eggs.
William Davis: Well then, by all means why don't you just bring me whatevers convenient for you.
Trixie Norton: Do I need to take of my heels?
Alice Kramden: No, no. Not yet.
William Davis: I've angered you, I'm sorry. It happens alot.
Alice Kramden: Oh, hi Miss Benvenuti. How are you?
Miss Benvenuti: I'm fine. Hi Trixie.
William Davis: Ah, Miss Benvenuti, what a pleasure. Please
[gestures for her to sit]
Miss Benvenuti: If you'd just buy my house, that will be pleasure enough.
Alice Kramden: Oh, Miss Benvenuti, you're selling that cute little duplex over on Hart Street?
Miss Benvenuti: Yes, I can't take the winters anymore. Mr. Davis here and his company are thinking of buying the house.
William Davis: Yes, we are. So if you girls could just go and cook something...
Trixie Norton: Ignoring you!
Alice Kramden: Yeah, I wish we would've known because we've been looking to buy a duplex for years.
William Davis: Well, I'm sorry, but my company's already buying this one.
Trixie Norton: Yes, well, we're not a company or anything, but we would like a nice place to move into with our husbands, have a few little babies, a little Trixie.
Alice Kramden: But everything's so expensive nowadays!
William Davis: Yes, it is. Kinda wishing you hadn't dropped out of high school right about now, huh?
Alice Kramden: *Still* ignoring you! So Miss Benvenuti, how much are you asking for the duplex?