Hector Elizondo: Joe
Mia Thermopolis : [while watching a list of possible husbands, a picture of Prince William appears] Yes! Oh yes! I, I, I absolutely accept!
Charlotte Kutaway : Prince William. He's not eligible because he's in line for his own crown.
Mia Thermopolis : [Disappointed] Oh.
Joe : If he's not eligible, why is he included in these pictures?
Charlotte Kutaway : I just love to look at him.
Queen Clarisse Renaldi : Me too.
Mia Thermopolis : Mmm-hmm.
Joe : Your Majesty!
Queen Clarisse Renaldi : Next?
Charlotte Kutaway : Antoine Suisson of Paris. Plays the harp. No title, but good family.
Lilly Moscovitz : What about the title "husband?"
Mia Thermopolis : Yeah, he's cute.
Joe : His boyfriend thinks he's handsome, also.
Queen Clarisse Renaldi : No matter. Put him on all the invitation lists, he's a divine dancer.
Joe : Viscount, you may not be aware of what my job entails as the Royal Head of Security. My job is to protect the crown. To make sure no harm comes to the crown. To step in when someone toys with the crown's emotions.
Viscount Mabrey : I think the entire country understands how well you cater for the crown's emotions.
Joe : [pause] If you hurt my girl, you will answer directly to me, and whatever crimes I commit against you, remember, I have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries, including Puerto Rico.
Viscount Mabrey : Sir, you will find that the word "fear" is not in my vocabulary!
Joe : Perhaps... but it's in your eyes.
Joe : [to Mia] Love does things for reasons that reason cannot understand.
Joe : I would kneel if it weren't for my knee replacement.
Joe : With this ring, I thee - finally - wed.