User reviews

Now I did not watch this when it came, I even avoided watching it until a couple of days ago. I wanted to see this before going into Disaster Artist (more on that movie on it's own page). Now before watching Disaster Artist I was thinking rating this a 1. Then I was like 1 sounds too much like so bad it's actually good, so I decided to go with a 2. And after Disaster Artist and some background on certain things, I'm willing to go for a 3.

Why you may ask? Well, if you watch this with a couple of friends or strangerrs, this can be quite the experience. It's not about quality here (certainly not acting or script, the amount of repetition is suffocating and obnoxious to say the least), but about an experience with others about a really bad movie, that was meant to be a drama. Well I guess it's still a Drama, but not in the conventionnal sense.

Tommy is really bad and it seems he has to be dubbed at times. There are quite a few "What the ..." moments. Tommys laugh is ... curious? Definitely very unique. There's no real story and there are 3 to 4 sex scenes in the first 20 minutes of the movie. But worry not (or do?), it changes pace from there. But there is nudity applenty, especially Tommys bare behind, and a strange position to have actual intercourse is being revealed too. Or at least a anatomically incorrect penetration spot if you want to call it that. Now that may sound just crazy, but some will find this very amusing.

You can obviously watch just Highlights of this, but you will never know how bad it really is, if you don't watch it fully, to get the full experience of things. The closest to that, without going through the whole thing, is the Honest Trailer from Screen Junkies ...

This film has a reputation for being so bad it's good. I personally didn't find much humour in it, just a constant sense of befuddlement. Everything is disconnected and nobody acts like a real human being. This film feels like aliens trying to emulate human behaviour and filmmaking.

Okay - quality of the movie [0/10] Enjoyability of the movie [10/10]

Total paradox, right?

This is the absolute pinnacle of bad story, bad dialogue, bad editing, bad plot.. I mean, I'm saying 'bad' like there actually is any of these elements within the film. The editing makes no sense, it seems randomly cut with continuity errors, there are lines like 'What's going on with the candles and the music' when there ARE NO candles or music.. The entire thing is absurd. But what makes it truly unique is that it was done entirely seriously, this is not a tongue in cheek production like low budget bad movies that know they are catering to an audience who expect to laugh at the poor effects and story.. No, this man, Tommy Wuseau, honestly, genuinely thought he was crafting his magnum opus, masterpiece of cinema.

Is it good? Absolutely, definitely not.

However - as a movie EXPERIENCE. I watched this with some of my family, warning them it was terrible, but we had one of the funniest, most incredible bonding experiences in cinematic history - As we collectively picked apart every camera angle, wobbly set, insane use of props, costume, music that skips, repeats, continuity, edits, plot and dialogue. There is not one redeeming moment in the entire movie. Even if there is a single well crafted line (there isn't) it would have to be spoken by either a terrible actor or by Tommy himself, who's accent sounds like it was in a European car crash . We all laughed until it HURT, and for that.. I have to give the experience a 10/10. I've never enjoyed a movie more with friends and family more than this one.. EVER.

I head that the experience is similar in theatres that still show this film for precisely this reason. Everybody dresses up as their favourite character, recites every line and throws spoons at the screen every time one inexplicably ends up on screen (it's a lot.. is there a reason behind this 'artistic' decision. No. There is no reason for anything)

There is more and more to notice about this film every time I watch it.. Most recently, how the architecture of the building makes no sense whatsoever. They appear to be on the ground floor, but exiting from the other side causes them to end up on the roof - at night. It's things like this that could inspire a PhD in studying the intricate insanity and entirely non sequitur values of every moment in The Room.

Do I recommend it? Well.. how can I not. Everyone needs to see this movie at least once, after a couple of drinks and with friends. It's even funnier than Weekend at Bernies after taking magic mushrooms.

I almost died laughing from a hypoxic brain injury, unable to catch my breath - narrowly avoiding giggling myself into a coma.

The finest abdominal workout video ever made.

I can't think of anything good to say about this movie, other than I enjoyed every single second of it. It's actually so bad that it entertains effortlessly.

I've never in my life been more entertained by a film that has absolutely NO redeeming qualities. Unintentionally inept characters engage in progressively bizarre and unnatural interactions which seem to peak at erratic and unexpected intervals. The awkwardness of the actors is framed by strange pauses, jarring scripts and incredibly bizarre production techniques - there are ample 'deer in the headlights' moments, in which you can feel genuine sympathy for these people who are obviously so caught up in Tommy's strange and dominating creative control that they've failed to see any better.

Other filmmakers play with similarly surreal concepts - David Lynch for example - but this film lacks anything resembling artistic refinement, insight or self awareness placing it far from comparison. It's kind of like watching a train crash in slow motion - random, incoherent, disastrous, accidental and ultimately painful. The sense of alienation emanating from this film places the audience extremely far from being able to relate to what's happening on screen, which leaves a lot of room for uncontrollable laughter given the right circumstances.

The camera work and production techniques would not be out of place in many daytime soap operas, nor would the script and plot, but there is an undefinable quality which separates this movie from the sense mediocrity often found in such shows and instead casts it deep into the abyss of tragically bad film making where it will be forever trapped along with Wiseau's artistic integrity. This really is a new frontier.

It is truly awful, but I cannot recommend it enough.

There are a number of "so bad it's hilarious" movies out there but almost all of them are in the sci-fi and horror genres. "The Room" is exceptional in that it's intended as an edgy independent psychological drama. To see a "Plan 9 From Outer Space"-style version of that genre is even funnier! This film is absolutely bizarre. The dialogue is at once very childlike and yet it tries to tackle "heavy" themes like adultery, terminal illness, drug abuse and the like. As a result, it feels like it was written by an alien from outer space. And when you see The Room's protagonist, who is also the director, writer and producer, you'll see that he very likely IS an alien from outer space! It's absolutely unbelievably, jaw-droppingly awful... And highly recommended!

Forget all the three-line raves this movie has received (which all seem to be suspiciously similar in tone). THE ROOM is one of those rare laugh-riots that is so fantastically inept as to border on genius. While most bad movies offer a handful of terrible scenes divided by stretches of just plain dull, writer-director-producer-star Tommy Wiseau's film offers one moment of disaster after another.

Whether it's the made-up-by-fifth-graders dialogue, the deer-in-headlights performances, or the positively icky sex scenes (love those smushed rose petals on the chubby girl's back), you'll be howling from start to finish.

This movie has already amassed a cult of people who know what to yell at the screen and when; for a movie that's being self-distributed, this rates as some kind of crap-movie miracle.

Keep an eye out for the pointless insert shots of San Francisco, which give the idea of time passing even when it doesn't: one party scene, for example, features eight of these cut-aways.

You really can't believe how terrible THE ROOM is, but at least it's entertaining, albeit in ways that the lazy-eyed, odd-bodied, English-mangling auteur never imagined. Not to be missed.

This film is completely worth seeing. A friend of mine recently said it was as if a deer made a movie about human interaction, unable to comprehend what it is to be a human being. It is hilarious.

It is also funny how many people actually see this as a real movie, and take the acting, story, and dialogue seriously. It's a sad testament to the state of intelligence of some, but that doesn't detract from the movies awful redemption.

There was no way this was made as a 'black comedy' on purpose. The ineptness present in ALL aspects of the film could only come about through an attempt to put Tommy's own high-school angsty experiences (probably) on tape. When the reviews trashed the movie, he pulled a Paul Ruebens "I meant to do that". The denial of the films obvious serious beginnings add even more hilarity. Tommy, we are laughing at you, not with you. Thank you for that.

I have now seen Mr. Tommy Wiseau's cinematic tour-de-force, 'The Room' three times. With each viewing, 'The Room' becomes more complexly entangled in and inseparable from my own life. I no longer know where The Room ends and I begin. It is, without question, the worst film ever made. But this comment is in no way meant to be discouraging. Because while The Room is the worst movie ever made it is also the greatest way to spend a blisteringly fast 100 minutes in the dark. Simply put, 'The Room' will change your life. It's not just the dreadful acting or the sub-normal screenplay or the bewildering direction or the musical score so soaked in melodrama that you will throw up on yourself or the lunatic-making cinematography; no, there is something so magically wrong with this movie that it can only be the product of divine intervention. If you took the greatest filmmakers in history and gave them all the task of purposefully creating a film as spectacularly horrible as this not one of them, with all their knowledge and skill, could make anything that could even be considered as a contender. Not one line or scene would rival any moment in The Room. The centerpiece of this filmic holocaust is Mr. Tommy Wiseau himself. Without him, it would still be the worst movie ever made, but with him it is the greatest worst movie ever made. Tommy has been described as a Cajun, a Croatian cyborg, possibly from Belgium, clearly a product of Denmark, or maybe even not from this world or dimension. All of these things are true at any one moment. He is a tantalizing mystery stuffed inside an enigma wrapped in bacon and smothered in cheese. You will fall in love with this man even as you are repelled by him from the first moment he steps onto screen with his long Louis the Fourteenth style black locks and thick triangular shoulders packed into an oddly fitting suit, and his metallic steroid destroyed skin. Tommy looks out of place, out of time and out of this world. There has never been anything else like him. Nor will there ever be. The Room begins with 'Johnny' (Tommy Wiseau) and his incomprehensibly evil fiancée 'Lisa' (played by a woman with incongruously colored eyebrows and a propensity for removing her shirt) engaging in some light frottage, joined by, Denny, (played with a deft sense of the absurd by Phillip Haldiman), their sexually confused teenage neighbor who is clearly suffering from a form of aged decrepitude. When Denny, who looks like the human version of Gleek the monkey from Superfriends, says, in a slightly creepy yet playful tone of voice, 'I like to watch!' as Johnny and Lisa roll around the bed in a pre-intercourse ritual revolving around rose petals, you know you are in for a very special movie. After a lengthy lovemaking scene (not to worry if you miss it the first time, they show it again in its entirety later in the movie) in which Tommy's bizarre scaly torso and over-anatomized rear-end are lovingly depicted over and over again as he appears to hump Lisa's hip, we discover that Lisa, for no particular reason, has become bored with Tommy's incessant lovemaking and decides to leave him. Just when you think the movie might lapse into an ordinary, pedestrian sort of badness, Johnny's best friend Mark, a man who's job seems to be to wear James Brolin's beard from Amityville Horror, shows up and electrifies the screen with a performance so wooden that it belongs in the lumber section of Home Depot. Incidentally, Mark is played by Greg Sestero, who, in addition to being described as a department store mannequin, was also the line producer on 'The Room' and one of Tommy Wiseau's five (5!!!!!) assistants on the movie. Lisa forces Mark, amid his paltry, unconvincing protests, to have an affair with her on their uncomfortable circular stairs. For no apparent reason Lisa decides that she is made of pure evil and wants to torture her angelic and insanely devoted fiancé, Johnny. Lisa receives pointed advice from her mother who casually announces that she is dying of breast cancer and then never mentions it again. But Lisa is determined to make Johnny's life a living hell, in spite of the fact that she, according to her mother, "cannot survive on her own in the cutthroat 'computer business'". But not before they recycle the sex scene from earlier in the movie where we get another bird's eye view of Johnny's ludicrous naked body. Denny gets into trouble with a drug dealer. Mark shaves his beard. Tommy gets drunk on an unusual cocktail made from mixing whiskey and vodka. Lisa lies and tells everyone that Tommy hit her in a drunken rage. A balding psychologist appears out of nowhere, offers some advice, then apparently dies while softly falling on the ground in an attempt to catch a football thrown by Mark. All of these seemingly disparate events build up to two cathartic moments. The first is when Tommy expressively yells at Lisa with the line 'You are tearing me apart Lisa!'. You will cheer at this line as you realize that the film has been tearing you apart the whole time. And the second is at Tommy's birthday party where the worst actor that has ever been born plays a unidentified man wearing a silk shirt who utters a phrase that perfectly describes the experience of watching The Room, 'It feels like I'm sitting on atom bomb that is going to explode!' The shocking ending will leave you pleading for some kind of sequel. See this film at all costs. See it twice. Or three times. Or as one kid that I met from Woodland Hills has, 12 times! See it until you can recite every precious line of dialogue this movie has to offer. Let The Room become your new religion and Tommy Wiseau your prophet preaching the gospel according to Johnny. My dream is to someday buy a theater and run The Room 24 hours a day, 7 days a week until the print disintegrates. I hope it becomes your dream as well.

Johnny, a man thanks to whom a bank makes lots of money, did not get his promotion but he's way too busy trying to be American by throwing footballs around at any given opportunity to really mind that. And he's also about to get married to Lisa who's in some computer business of some kind but she's having an affair with Mark, Johnny's best friend, who does not want to hurt Johnny but clearly can't help himself. Danny, Johnny and Lisa's young sexually confused neighbour who has problems of his own somewhat related to drugs and football fetching, doesn't suspect a thing although he's always hovering about and is also in love with Lisa but would rather watch Lisa and Johnny in bed when he's not fetching Johnny's balls. The only person who knows what is afoot between Johnny and Lisa is Lisa's mother who begs her daughter to come to her senses but in vain since no one listens to her and... she's dying... since she DEFINITELY has breast cancer (which is okay since "they're curing people everyday"). Confused? Well don't be...

And welcome to the wondrous world of "The Room". This is a world from the breathtaking lack of imagination of Tommy Wiseau, the least appealing man ever to walk this Earth; a world where people play football in tuxedo, have the same conversations again and again due to their 5 minutes memory, make babies by humping belly buttons in the middle of rose petals and finally enter and exit places without any other reason than to do just that.

Indeed, this is probably one of the worst film ever made but as opposed to any other cinematic turd, this one is hardly ever dull (except for the "sex" scenes maybe), the aimless plot driven through one stupidity to the other by the on-par grammar-school writing delivering gems galore ("I'm so happy I have you as my best friend and I love Lisa so much", "I'm tired. I'm wasted. I love you darling"), the final broth served by inept performances (for want of a better word) from its cast. This is truly the most inspired disaster ever committed to screen.

But what I find the most interesting about the "The Room" is its maker Tommy Wiseau. "The Room" is a window into his confused psyche because make no mistake folks: Tommy IS Johnny. And what are we told about Johnny? Well that "he's very caring about the people in his life", provides for his girlfriend, "is very sensitive", "doesn't drink", "has a very secure situation" and has nice pecs. Quite a catch wouldn't you say ladies? On paper possibly... Because everything about his persona seems phoney: his accent which is a mix of anyone's that ever walk this planet whom couldn't speak English, his over-sized suit, his dark, long and way too greasy hair, his geriatric body posture, his re-shaped and re-muddled face and, above all, his completely dry and humourless laughter (and not in a sarcastic way either). Such a penchant for dissimulation is downright creepy and I must admit, the physical repulsion he exerts on me is the stuff fascination is made of.

The fact that "The Room" has gathered such a cult following is no surprise. In the oh-so jaded times we're living in, celebrating the mediocre, talentless and pointless have become all the rage with the recipient of the mockery confusing infamy with fame. There is something both pathetic and a little unsettling about how Tommy Wiseau regards the cynical interests his movie has attracted for a genuine recognition of his talent.

Mind you, I suppose Mr Wiseau can take pride in the fact that "The Room" will go down in Cinema history. But as what?

This cinematic masterpiece follows the life of an alien attempting to fit in with his human surroundings. the story is told through the aliens perspective, and because his species perceives time and events differently than ours, some of the events may seem confusing to the viewer at first. however, once the viewer understands that johnny is simply not from our world, you can truly understand the turmoil hes in. truly a tribute to modern artistry

Sometimes it's difficult knowing where to start in reviewing a movie. This film is perhaps the ultimate example where words are simply not enough. The Room is a film that almost defies description. It really has to be experienced in order to understand why it has garnered a reputation as the most celebrated bad movie of the last decade. Unlike previous so-bad-they're-good flicks such as Plan 9 From Outer Space or Troll 2 and countless others, The Room is not a sci-fi, horror or action flick. It is pure and simply a melodrama. This explains part of its huge impact in that it sort of appeals to both male and female audiences alike, while it is really quite unusual to see a film in this genre being quite so spectacularly bad. The Room is undoubtedly one of the funniest things I have seen in a long, long time.

I'm not going to go into specifics here as to individual moments that make The Room the comedy classic that it has become, simply because there are far too many and it really needs to be seen to be believed. However, it would be remiss to not mention the character Johnny played by Tommy Wiseau. Johnny is the central character in the story. He is an overly nice character who others take advantage of. He seems to either be retarded or is recovering from a stroke. Wiseau is a very unusual central character, while his sex scenes are deeply disturbing - almost like scenes from a scary sci-fi horror film. Wiseau is of course the auteur behind this thing, he wrote and directed it and so therefore needs to be given some credit for producing something that is simultaneously so bad yet so committed and so deadly serious. He has attempted to claim after the event that The Room was intended as a black comedy. Don't be fooled by this for a second, this movie plays it completely straight. It's so very funny because of this fact. It is an absolute impossibility to make the specific anti-genius of The Room intentionally.

I have seen it a couple of times. The second of which was at a public screening and I have to report that I have never witnessed anything like it. It was the closest a movie-going experience ever got to the feel of going to a gig. The sense of excitement beforehand was palpable and once the movie started rolling the audience was extremely lively throughout with no let up from start to finish. It ended with a standing ovation. It was quite incredible. I have never witnessed the like before. Tommy Wiseau I salute you.

I watched The Room because of the hype surrounding it since The Disaster Artist was released. I was told going in that it was a terrible movie, but I should still watch it. While some people found how bad the movie is funny, I did not. I felt like I wasted my time watching this movie. I still would have never watched it if the Disaster Artist hadn't been nominated for an Oscar. I am told that if you watch this in the right atmosphere and with the right people, it can be quite an enjoyable watch. This was not the case for me. I am happy to say I watched it, I can understand what people are talking about now, but I wish they would talk about other movies.

This film tells the story of a man who will be marrying his girlfriend of seven years. However, his girlfriend seems not to settle for what she has.

I would not have known about this film if not for "The Disaster Artist". Seriously, the sets are bad, the lighting is bad, the camera angles are bad, the camera is mostly static, the acting is horrible, and the story is just bad. The plot is so thin that it almost appears to be a soft core film. It is worse than a B film. It is so bad that I laughed out loud several times, such as the infamous bottle throwing scene, or when Jack throws the girlfriend on the sofa, or the fight in the party. And could they have at least filmed on a real rooftop, instead of the fake computer generated scenery? The acting is so bad, most of the characters are wooden, except the mother who has a quite a character. The film is so bad that it becomes good. I do recommend it.

There are more than enough reviews of this movie that tell you in wonderful ways how absolutely perfect the awfulness of "The Room" is. What I found terribly interesting when I was brought to a Los Angeles midnight screening of this movie, besides the fact that this damn thing was on five screens at once, is that this movie provides the moviegoer with the rare opportunity to absolutely mock terrible cinema.

I see several movies per year, often from the major studios, that I long to shout at in disgust. "The Room" is terrible to the point that the audience has agreed to do just that. It is liberating and hilarious and downright therapeutic to shout, when a character who has never been established suddenly appears on screen, "Who are you?"

Wiseau shows up at these Los Angeles screenings and revels in what he seems to think is adoration, almost psychotically not in on the joke.

You do not go to "The Room" to see a movie. You go to get even with that screen that promises entertainment and often disappoints. Finally, you get to mock mediocrity. It's enjoyable and liberating. How lucky is Wiseau that he gets rewarded for being awful? At least he is a good sport about taking the abuse.

After watching James Franco´s "The Disaster Artist", it is mandatory to any curious viewer to see "The Room" (2003) despite the bad expectations. "The Room" is a terrible amateurish movie that becomes hilarious and cult so bad it is. The story is absolutely silly, without continuity and laughable dialogs giving the sensation that was written by a high-school teenager. The cast is amateurish and ham, probably ashamed and embarrassed with their lines and their names in the credits. My vote is one (awful).

Title (Brazil): Not Available

Johnny and Lisa are engaged and in a month will be married. Everything seems idyllic but Lisa is finding Johnny boring and has an affair with his best friend, Mark. Things start to escalate...

Regarded as one of the worst movies of all time, and rightly so. Written, directed and starring Tommy Wiseau, the crappiness is largely a solo effort. Incredibly badly written: the dialogue is so bad to be quite bizarre at times. The central plot - the Johnny-Lisa-Mark love triangle - has no depth at all and really just goes around in circles. The lack of substance in the central plot is padded by random sub-plots and scenes that add nothing.

Acting is about as bad as the writing, with Tommy Wiseau to the fore, again. He is so bad he makes Arnold Schwarzenegger look like Marlon Brando. "Hammy" doesn't even come close to describing how bad he is, sometimes looking like he is just reciting lines that he is wholly disinterested in (which he wrote!) and then delivering in a ridiculously melodramatic manner ("You're tearing me apart, Lisa!" launched a thousand gifs).

The remaining cast aren't great but aren't anywhere near as bad as Wiseau. They are helped by being in the same scene as him as he's so bad he makes them look okay.

Direction is pretty much uninspired paint-by-numbers, though is not as laughable as the script or acting.

There are no redeeming qualities to this movie. It's not accidentally a decent comedy while trying to be a serious drama. No "So bad, it's good" for it. This movie is incredibly bad, full stop.

So it is almost a year now since the premiere of "The Room". Possibly one of the boldest independent movies of the week, it lived up to the rumors. A French Canadian friend of mine named Michael first told me and my brother of this masterpiece. At first I was scared when I was told it was a movie about a man who could barely speak English and was struggling to keep his girlfriend, but there was so much more. There were roses....spoons....and Denny. Tommy Wiseau, possibly the greatest independent,new,director/writer/producer named Tommy to come from Europe in the past year...bar none. Some people have compared him to Tennesse Williams, and I couldn't agree more...his acting is probably the closest I've seen to him since Philip Haldiman. The symbolic usage of spoons in this movie makes me love it even more. The cutaways to the fabulous bridge brings a horrifying yet satisfying theme to this already quirky yet serious yet pornographic movie. I cannot wait to see what movie Tommy decides to do next, personally I don't think he can top this one....but maybe a sequel is in order to this great trilogy or saga of movies to "The Room"...possibly Denny spin-offs. Actors Awesome, Actresses = Worst I've seen in my entire life. Good Work Tommy...we need more filmmakers like you producing your own movies. The Room = 4 spoons out of 4

I have to believe I'm not the only person who was prompted to see "The Room" in preparation for James Franco's well-received "The Disaster Artist," the story of the cult classic's creation.

Called the worst movie ever made by many, what I think people mean is that "The Room" is one of the most entertaining bad movies ever made. It's certainly not the worst; just try watching a movie like, say, "ThanksKilling" for an example of a movie so bad that it's unwatchable. No, "The Room" belongs to the same category as something like "Battlefield Earth," films so earnestly made yet so poorly executed that they become more entertaining than they would have been had the filmmakers been able to make a legitimately good movie.

One can't really provide a description of "The Room" that will come anywhere close to approximating the experience of watching it. Tommy Wiseau, the film's legendary and strange creator, plays Johnny, who's been dating Lisa for something like six or seven years and who he refers to throughout the entire movie as "my future wife." The problem is that Lisa hates Tommy and doesn't want to marry him, despite bonking him repeatedly. It never seems to occur to Lisa that she could just tell Johnny she doesn't love him anymore, so she instead complains to everyone who will listen to her how bored she is by him and even makes up stories about him getting drunk and beating her. No one seems especially bothered by this prospect, perhaps because Lisa is such an unpleasant person that we don't understand why Johnny wants her in the first place. O.k. maybe it's not so far fetched, since Johnny isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, and his prospects for female companionship that he doesn't have to pay for are probably limited. He clearly is drawn to Lisa's formidable intelligence, because he thinks her suggestion that they invite a bunch of friends to a birthday party she plans to throw for him (despite hating him) is "a great idea," which I guess is if the alternative idea is to invite a bunch of random strangers. And Johnny isn't alone; at said birthday party, she suggest that they should all eat some cake, and the party goers act like that's an idea no one's ever had at a birthday party before.

Complicating matters is Johnny's best friend Mark, who gives a brilliant discourse on gender politics in which he categorizes all women as stupid or evil. Given the women in this movie, he may be on to something. Lisa has the hots for Mark, and they pick the least comfortable spot in the apartment (the bend of a spiral staircase) on which to consummate their passion (though I'm not sure if anything was actually consummated since Mark appears to be humping Lisa's knees). Mark seems like a bit of dim bulb himself, since every time thereafter that Lisa initiates sex his first question is "What are you doing?"

The most mysterious character in the movie is Denny, an orphaned kid who lives God knows where but who pops in all. the. time. and who we're told thinks of Johnny as a father figure, though, given the fact that the first scene with Denny finds him wanting to watch Johnny and Lisa have sex, he might have wanted to shop around a bit more. Denny is always carrying either a basketball or a football and acts like he's twelve despite the fact that the actor playing him is about twenty-five. Once in a while, some combination of guys will actually play ball with him, which involves standing about three feet from each other and gently tossing the ball around like it's an explosive device. After some ball tossing on the roof of Johnny's apartment building, and then some more ball tossing in a cramped alley, I started to wonder whether or not San Francisco had any parks these guys could go to, and then later in the film when they actually go to a park, I wondered why they didn't go to one sooner.

My favorite character is Lisa's mom, who walks into every situation and expresses disbelief that she's surrounded by dipsh*ts, a sentiment I shared. Nothing phases this woman, not breast cancer, not drug dealers, not random people using her daughter's apartment for a booty call. Whatever's going on, she's just so over it.

And another supporting character is Johnny's psychologist friend, who looks like the bald Nazi from "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and lurks in the background, lit by the camera man like a serial killer.

Every scene in "The Room" feels like the intro to porn sex, no matter what combination of people are present. There are actually a couple of soft core scenes, both featuring Johnny and Lisa, though it actually only counts as one scene since the second one uses the EXACT SAME FOOTAGE as the first. Needless to say, they're not very erotic unless you find weirdly veiny men of an indeterminate age erotic, or are turned on by the sight of rose petals mashed into a woman's back like giant ticks.

I don't know why "The Room" is called "The Room." There is a room in the movie, in which almost all of the action that doesn't occur on the roof takes place. The set decorator clearly thought that Johnny and Lisa are the kind of people who decorate their apartment with giant candles and bowls of fruit, which comes in handy when Denny needs to eat an apple as a way of managing the sexual frustration that occurs when Johnny and Lisa aren't up for a menage a trois.

Maybe he should have played some football in the alley instead. Hah- hah! Hah-hah!

Grade: F (for not having even a minimum understanding of the art of narrative filmmaking)

Grade: A+ (for entertainment value)

Tommy Wiseau...who is this guy? The IMDb biography is pretty scant and his vaguely Eastern European accent is not at all explained. What also isn't explained is how he was able to somehow get $6,000,000 to make this film--as well as HOW it could cost that much to make this movie. After all, none of the actors are professionals (and it shows), the sets look like they are the homes of Wiseau or his friends and Wiseau himself wrote/directed/starred in the film. So where did all the money go?! Perhaps some could have been spent on TVs (see the end to know what I mean). I think most young filmmakers could do just as well with $47 and a HandyCam and chimp actors!

"The Room" seems to have nothing to do with a room. Instead, it's like a soft-core porno film where the camera gets blocked anytime you are about to see most of the nudity. I counted something like 6 sex cenes--3 of which were in the first 25 minutes!! So is the film therefore sexy--God no!! I will be nice and not make any more comments about this--you just have to see the writhing bodies to know what I mean. After all, I'm a middle-aged chubby guy and so I don't have much room to talk. But wait, I am NOT starring in a film...so yes, I can say that they were kind of scary looking--particularly Wiseau. So, if there was an award for least sexy film, this one might win....unless Ernest Borgnine made a porno.

So why has this film become a cult favorite? It's the dialog....and the acting to a lesser extent. It's as if much of the dialog were written by someone with only a limited knowledge of the English language. So often the same catch phrases are repeated again and again. And often what characters say seems very, very random. And, to make it worse, the post-production dubbing is hilariously out of sync at times. Honestly, the dialog in "Plan 9" is no worse--especially since Wood was not trying to make a serious film--whereas "The Room" is deadly serious.

Is it ONLY the dialog and acting? Well, no. The writing is god-awful--inconsistent, with missing plot lines AND the inexplicable need for all the men to suddenly break into a game of tossing the football--even though they are only 3-5 feet apart and even when they are in tuxedos! I can clearly understand why at L.A. showings of the film, crowd members reportedly bring footballs and toss them about during the film! And, the musical dubbing is occasionally terrible. And, the plot is dull. And, there's the problem with Wiseau's character being the greatest yutz in film history--knowing that his girlfriend is cheating on him near the beginning of the film yet continuing to stay with her AND doing the funniest temper-tantrum scene in film history late in the movie (he should have yelled "Hulk SMASH!!!").

By the way, the film says the couple in the film have been together five years and then later in the film it says seven. Either way, considering the age of Wiseau's co-star, she would have been between 11 and 13 when they first became a couple.

Also, on the DVD there is an interview with Wiseau. You must see this--the dubbing was hilarious even for this 'making of' mini-films! Plus it tries to explain the repeated use of footballs in his film! And, he wears a nice suit.

In conclusion, I must quote the film. "Why, Johnny,...why?!?..."