4.2/10
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7 user 7 critic

Bikini Bandits (2002)

Not Rated | | Crime, Comedy | Video 12 November 2002
The Bikini Bandits are sent to hell after their car goes off a cliff.

Director:

Steve Grasse
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Maynard James Keenan ... Satan
Dee Dee Ramone ... The Pope
Jello Biafra ... Evil Porn Director
Corey Feldman ... Angel Gabriel / Self
Gary the Retard Gary the Retard
Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf ... Mini Devil (as Hank the Angry Dwarf)
Peter Grasse Peter Grasse ... Retard / Amish Boy / Joseph
Larry McGearty Larry McGearty ... Dirty Larry
Bret Reilly Bret Reilly ... Retard / Various
Heather-Victoria Ray Heather-Victoria Ray ... Bandit
Heather McDonnell Heather McDonnell ... Bandit
Betty San Luis Betty San Luis ... Bandit
Cynthia Diaz Cynthia Diaz ... Bandit
Robyn Bird Robyn Bird ... Virgin Mary
Clark O'Donnel Clark O'Donnel ... Officer Harry Nudzak (as Clark O'Donnell)
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Storyline

The Bandits are killed, and, upon entering the underworld, are given an ultimatum from Satan: Go to Jerusalem and desecrate the Virgin Mary or be forced to watch Corey Feldman dance for all eternity. The Pope shows up to try and stop them. Written by Matt F.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Genres:

Crime | Comedy

Certificate:

Not Rated | See all certifications »
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Did You Know?

Connections

Followed by Bikini Bandits 2: Golden Rod (2004) See more »

User Reviews

 
100% Rubbish
19 April 2005 | by Hollow_ManSee all my reviews

This movie SOUNDS great. Not in any high minded, intellectual fashion, but just as some great cheese to down with your buddies. It has half naked women, guns, Dee Dee Ramone as the pope, Jello Biafara, Maynard as Satan, time travel, fast cars... it sounds brilliant, right?

It is not. This is, without a doubt, the worst film ever made. This is from a man who loved "Jesus Christ - Vampire Hunter". There's no plot, no point, and worst of all, no FUN. The closest thing to a running gag is the joke they pulled on you by getting this thing released. It's clear they had no idea what to do with the film; but they rightly guessed that if they got some cult celebrities together with a bunch of hot women, they could get it released regardless. To fill out the time they throw out a series of unconnected skits, woodenly acted and lacking any conceivable flow. Even the violence/sex this kind of movie falls back on to hide deeper troubles are strictly PG-13 (Baywatch is more graphic than anything here). The (very) few funny moments have nothing to do with the plot at all, but are quick inserts thrown in to pad a movie that had clearly failed even in the eyes of it's director.

The director clearly has an amazing talent; he sold this movie to some amazing guest stars, to whoever funded it, to whoever agreed to release it...but he never had a movie to begin with. People show up on screen, do their bit, and move on presumably under the impression they were going to appear in a movie; but in the end it's just a parade of pointless clips, nothing more. Even having seen it, the pitch sounds good (underground rockers, time traveling bikini bandits, guns and cars, who can go wrong?)... but the movie isn't there. A talent for salesmanship makes you a great car dealer, not a great director.

In closing, Corey Feldman called this film the worst mistake of his life.

Corey. Feldman. Called it the worst mistake of his life.


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Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

12 November 2002 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

The Bikini Bandits Experience See more »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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