4.6/10
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13 user 12 critic

Ultrachrist! (2003)

What would Jesus do if he returned to Earth and discovered he could no longer relate to the youth of today?

Director:

Kerry Douglas Dye

Writers:

Kerry Douglas Dye (screenplay), Jordan Hoffman (screenplay) | 1 more credit »
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2 wins. See more awards »

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Cast

Credited cast:
Jonathan C. Green ... Jesus / Ultrachrist
Celia A. Montgomery ... Molly
Samuel Bruce Campbell ... Parks Commissioner A.C. Meany
Dara Shindler Dara Shindler ... Jada Jennsen
Jordan Hoffman Jordan Hoffman ... Archangel Ira
Danielle Langlois ... Jane
Samantha Dark Samantha Dark ... Paula
Nathaniel Graves Nathaniel Graves ... Tommy
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Rana Lee Araneta Rana Lee Araneta ... Pool Player #2
Amanda Bernen ... Meany's Masseuse
Jonathan Bloom Jonathan Bloom ... Local Sinner
Patrick Brennan Patrick Brennan ... Perverted Cheer Fan (voice)
Tian Chen Tian Chen ... Local Sinner
Bob Cohen Bob Cohen ... Marty
Elizabeth Cooper Elizabeth Cooper ... Wrestling Fan
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Storyline

Jesus returns to Earth in present-day NYC, sent by his Father to usher in 2000 years of Godly peace. Unfortunately, modern young people respond poorly to this bearded weirdo. Taking the advice of a market research guru, Jesus has a Spandex costume made and declares himself "Ultrachrist", an urban sin-fighter. Unfortunately, his Father doesn't approve of these unorthodox techniques, while the Antichrist (the NYC Parks Commissioner) ressurects an army of famous sinners to make sure Ultrachrist's mission fails. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Get ready for a whole new Christ!! See more »

Genres:

Comedy

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Did You Know?

Trivia

Has over 40 speaking roles and over 30 locations, including Times Square. See more »

Quotes

Jesus/Ultrachrist!: The crucifix is the symbol of Christianity? I HATED the crucifix! OUCH!
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Crazy Credits

"Enthusiastic Thank Yous" to, among others, "Alex Dorn for the 'that's allotta stigmata' line" and "The NYPD for mostly leaving us alone" See more »

Connections

Spoofs Superman (1978) See more »

Soundtracks

A New Pro-Sex Kinda Savior
Lyrics by Kerry Douglas Dye
Music by James Ruchala & Sarah Alden
Performed by James Ruchala, Sarah Alden, Jason Cypher, Andy Nelson and Jonathan C. Green
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User Reviews

The second Second Coming comes with laughs
13 January 2006 | by FilmFlaneurSee all my reviews

Just a couple of years after Jesus Christ VAMPIRE HUNTER comes ULTRACHRIST, which features another superhero Lord (I know what you're thinking, that one waits for a millennium without seeing even one, and now...) this time He's complete with Spandex outfit, hilariously reminiscent of Monty Python's famous Bicycle Repair Man. Christ returns to earth, Terminator-like, to start His second ministry and promptly moves in with two lipstick lesbians as a base for His low key, but gormlessly naive operations. Meanwhile His old adversary, now running the city's Park Department and local drugs cartel, sends out adversaries - choosing the most evil figures in history (being Adolf Hitler, Vlad the Impaler, Richard Nixon and, er, Jim Morrison, naturally enough) against Him. Elsewhere, in a pizza parlour in Heaven, God Himself is mightily annoyed at developments and sends an emissary (the Archangel Ira, the self proclaimed Patron Saint of Erotic Massage) to strip Jesus of His Spandex and thereby reduce the Almighty's embarrassment..

More deftly put together than JCVH, but without the endearingly loopy songs or pastiche kung fu, ULTRACHRIST is just as low budget while still being amusing, and just as essential viewing by way of a further addition to this growing, peculiar mini genre of Christ as crime fighter. As Jesus, Jonathan C Green is perhaps more believable than the previous filmic resurrection ("The crucifix is the symbol of Christianity? I HATED the crucifix! OUCH!" he opines), and has more charm of presence, but believability is hardly a key issue here. My favourite bad taste moment is when Jesus' stigmata, after he's excited, ejaculates blood all over his wannabe girlfriend's blouse...


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Details

Official Sites:

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Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

24 April 2003 (USA) See more »

Company Credits

Production Co:

LeisureSuit Media See more »
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Technical Specs

Color:

Color
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