A film crew are making a Reality TV show about a couple brought together by a dating agency. However, the couple are so incompatible that the crew must manipulate the relationship to get the footage they need.
Two people meet as guinea pigs in a weekend drug trial. Andre (an unethical high school teacher) and Juliet (a bookish teenager) soon discover their lives are in more danger than they ... See full summary »
A young child is stranded in Tonga when his plane crashes and his father is eaten by a fish. He trains in a dojo till he becomes the Tongan Ninja. The Tongan Ninja is dispatched to the island nation of New Zealand in order to help a brother of his master with his floundering Chinese restaurant. But the mysterious Mister Big stands in the eatery's way as he sends numerous villains such as Knife Man, Gun Man, and the super-sexy Action Fighter who may know a lot about the hero.
Tongan Ninja's master is indeed correct in saying that the meaning of the Chinese characters written on the Tongan Ninja's bandana is not "Good luck while flying". But the characters doesn't actually corresponds to the actual Chinese translation of the word "Fighting Spirit" but rather just the literal translation of the words "fight" and "spirit". See more »
So, you are the infamous Gun Man
I hear your good with guns
I'm not just good; I'm the best
I heard you were good. I once knew a man who was good with children. They called him; Children Man. Know him?
I kneecapped him and then I killed him
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How Deep Is Your Love
by Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb, Maurice Gibb
Published by Gibb Brothers Music
Used With The Permission Of BMG Music Publishing Australia Pty. Limited
Sung by Luma Patea
With Backing Vocals by Samuel Samuel, Richard Samuel, Phill Darkins
Music Arranged, Recorded & Produced by Bruno Barrett-Garnier See more »
Shot in English, and dubbed into English (because they couldn't afford location-based sound recording), Tongan Ninja sets out to be one of the worst films of all time and succeeds beautifully. Our one-dimensional hero is pitted against a variety of one-dimensional enemies, including Knife Man (who uses a knife), Gun Man (who uses a gun) and Action Fighter (who had the assistance of wire team from Lord of the Rings). It tells you something about a movie when the director's commentary features lines like "We were very lucky and had the use of the Lord of the Rings wire team for two weeks. But we had to ask them to make it look cheaper and messier, so it would match the rest of the movie." I'm a big fan of DVD special features. The 'making of' featurette features wonderful interviews with Peter Jackson and the director of Shrek, telling some very inventive lies about their admiration for this movie. The director's commentary is a wonderful insight into the labour of love that no-budget film-making can be, and the actor's commentary is a wonderful insight into actors who are deeply embarrassed to be in such a cheap movie. If you can enjoy bad action movies, this one is absolutely priceless.
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