A film crew are making a Reality TV show about a couple brought together by a dating agency. However, the couple are so incompatible that the crew must manipulate the relationship to get the footage they need.
Two people meet as guinea pigs in a weekend drug trial. Andre (an unethical high school teacher) and Juliet (a bookish teenager) soon discover their lives are in more danger than they ... See full summary »
A young child is stranded in Tonga when his plane crashes and his father is eaten by a fish. He trains in a dojo till he becomes the Tongan Ninja. The Tongan Ninja is dispatched to the island nation of New Zealand in order to help a brother of his master with his floundering Chinese restaurant. But the mysterious Mister Big stands in the eatery's way as he sends numerous villains such as Knife Man, Gun Man, and the super-sexy Action Fighter who may know a lot about the hero.
How Deep Is Your Love
by Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb, Maurice Gibb
Published by Gibb Brothers Music
Used With The Permission Of BMG Music Publishing Australia Pty. Limited
Sung by Luma Patea
With Backing Vocals by Samuel Samuel, Richard Samuel, Phill Darkins
Music Arranged, Recorded & Produced by Bruno Barrett-Garnier See more »
I know I use the word 'awesome' a lot, I just happen to watch a lot of crazy awesome movies. I can't help it. I don't actively seek them out, they just find a way of ending up on my TV or in my DVD player. Anyway, where was I? 'Awesome'. I use the word 'awesome' frequently, and I'll admit that I'm not even using it correctly in more than a few cases. However, 'awesome' is my way of indicating a given movie's coolness level, and such a little word is so much more descriptive than a silly rating system involving numbers and stars. For example, I believe I rated 'Wild Zero' as 10 stars, 'Versus' as 9 stars, and 'Battlefield Baseball' as 8 stars, but I do believe I said each one is awesome. Numbers are so inaccurate, and can't describe such movies. 'Awesome' is so much more descriptive.
Now you may be asking "But how does all this relate to 'Tongan Ninja'?". Well, you see Billy, any number I give to 'Tongan Ninja' would be grossly unfair, as it would not be taking both the awesomeness of 'Tongan Ninja' and its value as a movie into account (see my review of 'Killer Meteors'. However, if I were to simply say 'Tongan Ninja' is crazily awesome, that would say so much more: it would say that anyone easily amused will enjoy it, and then people of any class and refinement should avoid it entirely.
'Tongan Ninja' is crazily awesome.
Sione (Sam Manu) is the Tongan Ninja. As a child, he survived a plane crash caused by Marvin (Jemaine Clement), who has since grown up to be an evil ninja and Sione's rival. Marvin makes it a point to frequently remind Sione that Sione's father survived, only to be eaten by a fish. The adult Sione is sent to New Zealand by their ninja mentor, Master Magasaki, to protect a restaurant in true 'Way of the Dragon' style. But the evil ninja Marvin is not far behind...
In all its crazy awesomeness, 'Tongan Ninja' is a spoof on old kung-fu movies. Hell, the plot is taken from Bruce Lee's 'Way of the Dragon', just with some extra creative license. Its a funny movie, messing around with the stereotypical plot elements (dead fathers, "I am your father", the greatest fighter of whatever style), bad dubbing, and making most of the very limited budget they had instead of trying to hide from being cheap. The fight scenes serve to amuse as comedy, not as true fight scenes, and the action goes way over the top but manages to stay funny throughout the movie.
Cheap and wacky, 'Tongan Ninja' isn't obviously going to appeal to everyone. However, anyone who likes their movies cheap and wacky (not to mention crazily awesome) will enjoy this.
10 of 14 people found this review helpful.
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