4.2/10
1,270
18 user 2 critic

Gladiatress (2004)

This sword and sandals movie is an off-the-wall comedy adventure about three unlikely heroines, who set out to save Celtic Britain, by thwarting the Roman invasion in their own unique and outrageous style.

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
... General Rhinus
... Caesar
Philippe De Grossouvre ... Jean Marcosivellauniviromandiboule / Young Gaul
... Dwyfuc
Fiona Allen ... Smirgut the Fierce
... Worthaboutapig
Rory MacGregor ... Male Dubonni Warrior
... Mrs. Goatsplitter
Brendan O'Hea ... Welsh Suitor
William Chubb ... Chamberlain
Dorian MacDonald ... Geordie Suitor
Nicola Stephenson ... Elderly Dubonni Woman
Marcia Warren ... Queen Tuathfhlaifthfth
... French Speaker
... Messenger
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Storyline

When a particularly sissy Caesar orders his general Rhinus to proceed with the conquest of Britain, which is just a mosaic of inter-warring Celtic tribes related to the Gauls he already subjugated, those send Marcosivellauniviromandiboule (aka Young Gaul) to the Dubonni, a measly tribe where three sisters play a leading role, and therefore see the messenger foremost as an ideal catch for the unmarried youngest; his bed-test goes great, while a Roman attack on the rivaling neighbor Kent tribe is welcomed without any strategic foresight. Nevertheless the Roman war machine rolls on, so war must be engaged, however again in their, female-shaped way. Written by KGF Vissers

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Does my gluteus maximus look big in this?

Genres:

Adventure | Comedy

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Release Date:

19 August 2004 (Australia)  »

Also Known As:

As Gladiadoras  »

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Trivia

The principal location for Gladiatress was the same Surrey woodland used as "Germania" in Gladiator. The production also used costumes made for the big budget film it was spoofing. See more »

Connections

Spoofs Gladiator (2000) See more »

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User Reviews

 
Not great, not horrible - more like mediocre
12 August 2006 | by See all my reviews

It's funny how people apparently either hate or love this movie. Every user comment either gives it a "1" rating or above a "7" - it's a good thing we have the average, then, which in this case for once is actually very accurate: this movie is worth about a "4".

It has funny elements, though not many for a movie that's supposed to be a comedy. The portrayal of Celtic-Britannic culture (incl. some Picts) is entertaining and even a little educational, and the movie's main strength lies in its realistic portrayal of what would happen to someone who tried to rescue a family member from being kidnapped by the Romans: she becomes a slave herself.

The funniest thing about the movie is probably the way we have Worthaboutapig crossing the English channel and then instantly thinking that the Roman colony she finds there ("Boulogne" = Paris) is actually Rome itself. For some ignorant clan member who's never been to the continent before, and certainly never seen the capital of a major civilization (to say nothing of a map), that's actually extremely realistic. And the anachronistic line "When in Rome...!" just has that extra little punch, when we know that she isn't actually in Rome after all.

There are a bunch of details to like in this movie - the production values, for instance, and that terrifically nonchalant German gladiator, Schlaffwaffe -, but it's just not funny enough, overall. It's too understated, has very few scenes approaching the memorable, and just strikes me as too self-indulgent. Fart and crotch jokes abound, which are tasteless and unfunny. The characters are cardboards. As a whole the movie is a disappointment, but at least it marginally holds your interest throughout. That, at least, is something.


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