4.2/10
1,267
18 user 2 critic

Gladiatress (2004)

This sword and sandals movie is an off-the-wall comedy adventure about three unlikely heroines, who set out to save Celtic Britain, by thwarting the Roman invasion in their own unique and outrageous style.

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
General Rhinus
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Caesar
Philippe De Grossouvre ...
Jean Marcosivellauniviromandiboule / Young Gaul
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Dwyfuc
Fiona Allen ...
Smirgut the Fierce
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Worthaboutapig
Rory MacGregor ...
Male Dubonni Warrior
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Mrs. Goatsplitter
Brendan O'Hea ...
Welsh Suitor
William Chubb ...
Chamberlain
Dorian MacDonald ...
Geordie Suitor
Nicola Stephenson ...
Elderly Dubonni Woman
Marcia Warren ...
Queen Tuathfhlaifthfth
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French Speaker
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Messenger
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Storyline

When a particularly sissy Caesar orders his general Rhinus to proceed with the conquest of Britain, which is just a mosaic of inter-warring Celtic tribes related to the Gauls he already subjugated, those send Marcosivellauniviromandiboule (aka Young Gaul) to the Dubonni, a measly tribe where three sisters play a leading role, and therefore see the messenger foremost as an ideal catch for the unmarried youngest; his bed-test goes great, while a Roman attack on the rivaling neighbor Kent tribe is welcomed without any strategic foresight. Nevertheless the Roman war machine rolls on, so war must be engaged, however again in their, female-shaped way. Written by KGF Vissers

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Does my gluteus maximus look big in this?

Genres:

Adventure | Comedy

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Release Date:

19 August 2004 (Australia)  »

Also Known As:

As Gladiadoras  »

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Did You Know?

Trivia

Was released three years after wrapping. See more »

Connections

Spoofs Gladiator (2000) See more »

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User Reviews

 
Cover better than entire movie
26 November 2006 | by See all my reviews

On the video cover, there's a back view of a girl in a short Roman skirt, and some text which says, "Does my Gluteus Meximus look big in this?"

That one costume, and that one joke, is better than anything in the entire movie. I swear, it made me wonder of it's so much to ask that watching a movie be at least as entertaining as looking at the cover.

All the women, even in the actual arena, are fully clothed in baggy fur. The sets are obviously cheep, jokes are just bad, it seems to have been made by people who don't know anything about movies.

There's one good scene;

In this movie the Tpits are depicted as always wearing severed rotting human heads around their necks like necklaces. In one scene the 3 (three) main characters are disguising themselves as 2 (two) Tpits. The first one has an actual head around her neck, but the second one has the third one standing inside her clothes pretending to be a severed head.

I recommend instead;

The Arena

Sparticus

Monty Python's Holy grail


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