4.2/10
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18 user 2 critic

Gladiatress (2004)

This sword and sandals movie is an off-the-wall comedy adventure about three unlikely heroines, who set out to save Celtic Britain, by thwarting the Roman invasion in their own unique and outrageous style.

Director:

Brian Grant

Writer:

Nick Whitby
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
David Hayman ... General Rhinus
Ronan Vibert ... Caesar
Philippe De Grossouvre Philippe De Grossouvre ... Jean Marcosivellauniviromandiboule / Young Gaul
Doon Mackichan ... Dwyfuc
Fiona Allen ... Smirgut the Fierce
Sally Phillips ... Worthaboutapig
Rory MacGregor Rory MacGregor ... Male Dubonni Warrior
Pam Ferris ... Mrs. Goatsplitter
Brendan O'Hea Brendan O'Hea ... Welsh Suitor
William Chubb William Chubb ... Chamberlain
Dorian MacDonald Dorian MacDonald ... Geordie Suitor
Nicola Stephenson Nicola Stephenson ... Elderly Dubonni Woman
Marcia Warren Marcia Warren ... Queen Tuathfhlaifthfth
Dermot Keaney ... French Speaker
Bruno Lastra ... Messenger
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Storyline

When a particularly sissy Caesar orders his general Rhinus to proceed with the conquest of Britain, which is just a mosaic of inter-warring Celtic tribes related to the Gauls he already subjugated, those send Marcosivellauniviromandiboule (aka Young Gaul) to the Dubonni, a measly tribe where three sisters play a leading role, and therefore see the messenger foremost as an ideal catch for the unmarried youngest; his bed-test goes great, while a Roman attack on the rivaling neighbor Kent tribe is welcomed without any strategic foresight. Nevertheless the Roman war machine rolls on, so war must be engaged, however again in their, female-shaped way. Written by KGF Vissers

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Does my gluteus maximus look big in this?

Genres:

Adventure | Comedy

Certificate:

See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

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Details

Country:

UK

Language:

English | French

Release Date:

19 August 2004 (Australia) See more »

Also Known As:

As Gladiadoras See more »

Filming Locations:

UK See more »

Company Credits

Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Color:

Color
See full technical specs »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Was released three years after wrapping. See more »

Quotes

Dwyfuc: I will keep him for sperm.
See more »

Connections

Spoofs Gladiator (2000) See more »

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User Reviews

 
Not worth a pig.
1 April 2006 | by TyferraSee all my reviews

This movie was possibly the worst movie I've ever seen. That may be overly harsh because I have seen "Anaconda" and "Pearl Harbour" and even parts of "Son of the Mask" but quite honestly, this film gave me a headache.

Okay, good things... good things... well, the acting was pretty good.

On to the not-so-good things. It was confusing. I mean, there was something about Romans and Britons, divine intervention, something about bees was mentioned, a kidnapping, a brief fight or something, coming back form the dead, a tunnel, a duck... I mean, it was too much random stuff thrown into a blender with the hope that it would turn out all right.

Someone told me it was a comedy once, but only ONE of my group of friends gave anything resembling a laugh once, (at the final line of the film.) I'd be quite prepared to admit that I simply 'didn't get it' because it had heart, proved by the fact that I feel bad for writing this. However, it was a waste of 80 minutes and a waste of the pizza I mindlessly consumed while my brain was straining to find a plot.

I take back what I wrote about it being the worst movie ever, but it was certainly the most confusing.


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