Detective Lovelorn und die Rache des Pharao

Well, what a surprise! A German B Movie and a good one. Whoever thought of that crazy idea to bring to the screen an entertaining B Movie. Supposedly the film was shot on a 800.000 Euro budget - whatever, it is probably a marketing lie, because the film looks more like 5 Million to me. Private Eye Lovelorn has to save the world from an evil and (of course) crazy Egyptian Pharao. Problem is: The P.I. has a split personality. Whenever he chases the bad guy, his other half appears in form of breathtaking beauty EVA HASSMANN as Bebe. She of course falls in love with the dude... To top the cast, the director dug up HORST BUCHHOLZ. He is something, playing a double Noble Prize winner. A chase inside a Pyramid tops the roller coaster of a movie. Total fun and games. Give me more.

I saw `Detective Lovelorn and the revenge of the pharaoh' at the Köln Fantasyfilmfest. Surprise! It is a German b-movie, made with no money, but I still do not believe, that a German movie may be so touching, rich and breathtaking. Under a skin of anarchistic Monty Python - humour reveals an unbelievable variety of deep stories, characters, moods and relationships. Thanks for that genius author, that gave us all these surprising peeps into his unbelievable universe. Young director (Thomas Frick) should forward as fast as possible into the big budget league, so that we can celebrate very soon a lot of high class entertainment Frickstyle - movies onto the next couple of years, also outside of Germany. (I deeply hope that Frick (freak? Frankenheimer? Frakes?) is not just a pseudonym for an independent experiment by one of the international established big cracks like Tim Burton or Sam Raimi). The great secretfull camerawork of Frank Stammar should be noticed too. He reached the same what happened with trash-concepted movies like `Raiders of the lost arc' and `The Mummy', when he covered the darkness and glamour of an a-movie over all this. Magnificent Horst Buchholz as Prof. Swedenborg is `one two three' back to his great shape, hopefully it is not his last work with Frick. Eva Hassmann grabbed her first really chance of her career and showed that she can touch her audience and lead them into a very own world of female secrets. The high – presence pharaoh Raynor Scheine and the good looking detective Nils – Maticevic – Lovelorn got no chance against her. They all really made me laugh and cry and be happy that the world is saved another time. But the best of all is that mummy fun in the end. Thank you for that, and give us more soon! Vincent A.

Detective Lovelorn is every bad boy's worst nightmare. And the product of Lovelorn's split personality, the blond babe Bébé, is every bad boy's wet dream. Enter the evil pharaoh bent on trashing the world and Lovelorn's nutty Swedish uncle Svedenborg, throw in time travel while you are at it, add Bébé constantly falling for the bad guys and you've got the campiest fun of the year.

This is not a B-movie and it's not a parody of a B-movie. There are themes from B-movies, but they fell in barrels of radioactiv waste and mutated. It starts with a Jekyll/Hyde variant. Detective Nils Lovelorn (Misel Maticevic) can turn into a completely different person, Bébé (Eva Haßmann), with different clothes. Why? Because his heart was broken. How is this an explanation? Because the author said so.

This guy, Jürgen Michel, was obviously given complete creative control. As long as it was somewhat different and original, he could write whatever. And he did. Arbitrariness rules supreme, unimpeded by logic, rules, probability. The result is - hardly surprising - amateurish and tiring. The storyline is just silly, the dialogues are embarrassing. Time passes slowly, when things that are supposed to be hilarious are just tedious, nonsensical and cringe.

"Lovelorn" is not a comedy, not a thriller, not a horror, mystery, action or adventure movie. It's not among the side-effects of cocaine. It's nothing, so it must be art. Funnily enough that's what it's supposed to be. Anti-art, to be exact. Dada. Professor Svedenborg (Horst Buchholz) pontificates: "Dada was an idiotic art movement at the beginning of the last century. Dada stands for the end of all reason. For the end of all laws. For total human idiocy. And that is just the beginning. At the end there's the stupidification of all matter." In the context of Dada, that's a good thing, a mission statement of sorts. What happens when matter - in the given case a chair - gets stupider? If the answer surprises you, you are not yet Dada enough.

The funniest thing about Dada is that the anti-art works - most notoriously Marcel Duchamp's urinals - actually ended up in museums, where they were treated just like all the other works. At least this will not be the fate of "Lovelorn". The sadest thing about "Lovelorn" is the fate of Horst Buchholz. In his youth he was a real shining star. He seems confused how he could end up in something so "Plan-B"-y like this. ("Bad German Movies"-Review No. 26)

This movie is real fun! A lot of crazy and absurd scenes, but it is never too silly. The actors are great, especially the three mad scientists including Horst Buchholz. So, if you don't take it too serious and if you like fantasy stories, you will definitely enjoy watching this movie.