Die, Mommie, Die! (2003)

Natasha Lyonne: Edith Sussman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Edith Sussman : What kind of a crazy world is this? My father's dead and my mother's gigolo shows up ready for some hot action!

• Edith Sussman : I always knew Mother was nothing more than a cheap, hopped-up nymphomaniac.

• Tony Parker : Why do you hate your mother so?

  Edith Sussman : I hate her because she's a money-grubbing selfish bitch who ruined my father's life, and a promiscuous slut who spends all my father's hard-earned money on trash like you!

  Tony Parker : That's not good enough.

• Tony Parker : [Tony and Edith are now in the pool. Tony hugs Edith tightly]  Edie - lovely, smooth, sweet Edie. I want to know everything about you: your favorite color, your favorite movie star... do you think your mother killed your father?

  Edith Sussman : Canary yellow, Carole Lynley, and yes, I know she did it but I can't prove a thing... Oh! Tony, I think you just broke my hymen...

• Angela Arden : Sweetie? Sweetie, these angels need to be walked.

  Edith Sussman : Translation: Get the hell out of here so I could be shrew to your father in private.

• Edith Sussman : You seem so sad and tired since you got back from Spain. What's wrong, daddy? You can tell me. We're soul mates.

  Sol Sussman : Well, then I'll confide in you. It's just this God-awful constipation. Before I go to sleep I'm supposed to take a suppository. Well, nobody ever said it was gonna' be easy being an old Jew.

• Sol Sussman : Never forget that you're half Sussman. And the other half, that strange, Canadian goyish of flotsam... that, you can dismiss.

  Edith Sussman : It's your blood that I'm proud of.

  Sol Sussman : You are my daughter, my immortality. What is our motto?

  Edith Sussman : Make it big... give it Class... and leave 'em with a message!

  Sol Sussman : Yeah!

• Angela Arden : You know, I Magnin is having a sale on go-go boots. We could make a day of it.

  Edith Sussman : Go-go boots? They're about as ancient as a hoop skirt.

  Angela Arden : Then I could use your able assistance as a fashion consultant.

  Edith Sussman : Well, my first bit of advice, mother, would be to cancel your next face lift, and start acting your age.

• Edith Sussman : [Edith is sitting at the poolside, mourning the passing of her father. Tony Parker shows up]  How dare you show your face in this house less than 24 hours after my father's death?

  Tony Parker : Sorry you feel that way, Edie. But perhaps... I can be of some comfort to your mother.

  Edith Sussman : Well I'm afraid you can't. Mother's out with my brother Lance. He's helping her adjust to her new widowhood.

  [Scene briefly changes to show Lance on his motorcycle, Angela on the back, whooping and laughing it up] 

  Edith Sussman : - What kind of a crazy world is this? My father's dead, and my mother's gigolo shows up, ready for some hot action?

  Tony Parker : I suppose I deserved that. Would you believe, the last thing I wanted to do was betray your father?

  Edith Sussman : [Sarcastically]  Oh... like REALLY!

  Tony Parker : I don't ask your forgiveness... it's almost as if I didn't have a choice. Your mother is a sorceress. She casts a hypnotic spell over a man. You possess that same magic, Edie.

  Edith Sussman : I do?

  [Tony looks at her and nods] 

  Edith Sussman : No... you're not to be trusted!

• Tony Parker : I heard your father died of a massive heart attack.

  Edith Sussman : So they said. But there's something not right about it.

  Tony Parker : Being a man of the world, I have friends in interesting places. Mind if I... do a little leg work?

  Edith Sussman : Yeah, sure... But I thought you were under mother's spell?

  Tony Parker : Haven't you heard? There's a new witch in town.

• Angela Arden : [Back at the house: Angela has just kicked Tony Parker out. Lance and Edith sit nearby]  And that goes for all of you. I'm clearin' out the dead wood.

  Angela Arden : [She pauses to pour herself a large tumbler of bourbon]  This is as good a time as any to announce that I'm selling the house to the first bidder.

  Edith Sussman : You wouldn't!

  Angela Arden : Edith, I don't want to hear a word about it. I am sick and tired of living my life for others. This is a time for Angela Arden. This time it's for me, for Me, for ME!

  Lance Sussman : But mother...

  Angela Arden : [Ignoring Edith's and Lance's protests]  I hate this house, I hate these walls, I hate that sofa... The only part of this dump that doesn't make me puke is that door, because that's the way I'm gettin' out.

  Edith Sussman : You can't sell this house.

  Angela Arden : I'm bringing down these walls around us. To quote the kids in the ghetto, "Burn, baby, burn!"

  [She tosses her tumbler of bourbon into the fire: a large plume of fire flashes up] 

• Lance Sussman : [With Edith at a table in a diner]  Edie, aren't you gonna' eat your cole slaw?

  Edith Sussman : It's time you faced the truth: our mother murdered our father.

  Lance Sussman : Hold the coleslaw...

  Edith Sussman : She poisoned him.

  Lance Sussman : He died of a heart attack.

  Edith Sussman : Oh, many rich old men that die of heart attacks are really the victims of arsenic poisoning. Tony told me so.

  Lance Sussman : When did he tell you that?

  Edith Sussman : It doesn't matter.

  Lance Sussman : Well, Bootsie told me she was with the coroner when he performed the autopsy. There was no trace of arsenic in his stomach.

  Edith Sussman : What if mother was clever and found another way to slip him the arsenic? A method devised to bypass the digestive track?

  Lance Sussman : I'm confused...

  Edith Sussman : The night daddy died he was complaining of constipation. The doctor prescribed a powerful suppository. Suppose mother found a way of tampering with the laxative?

  Edith Sussman : I don't believe it.

  Edith Sussman : You are Sol Sussman's only son. It's up to you to avenge his death!

  Lance Sussman : What do you want me to do?

  Edith Sussman : Kill mother!

  Lance Sussman : No!

  [Lance jumps up and runs out] 

• Edith Sussman : [In a public bathroom: Lance has taken cover in one of the stalls, while Edith is in the outer part of the bathroom, trying to find him and talk to him]  Lance, why can't you accept the fact that mother is a murderess and a whore?

  Edith Sussman : [Apparently Edith has been talking to the wrong stall: an unknown man comes out, causing Edith to walk further down the row, looking underneath each stall for a sign of Lance]  Lance... it's no use hiding from me OR the truth. Lance!

  Lance Sussman : Leave me alone! I'm not listening to you.

  Edith Sussman : You will listen!

  Lance Sussman : Leave me alone. My head... it's pounding, pounding.

  Edith Sussman : Yes, it's pounding. Sometimes it feels like there's an atom bomb inside your head that's waitin' to go "pow!"

  Lance Sussman : Get OUT of here!

  Edith Sussman : It's time you heard the truth. Daddy said it was the drugs. The pill-popping that mother did during the pregnancy that made you the way you are.

  Lance Sussman : Leave me alone.

  Edith Sussman : [Lance and Edith are now over at the sink area, where Lance splashes his face with water]  There was something wrong with your brain. Made you a little "slow." Made it hard for you to understand things.

  Lance Sussman : [Confused]  What?

  Edith Sussman : Don't you see? It's not your fault, it's HERS... because mom was so selfish and evil that she wouldn't give up her precious sleeping pills.

  Edith Sussman : [Unknown man approaches sink area; Edith snarls at him]  Fuck off!

  Edith Sussman : Lance, she destroyed you. She turned your brains into mush. Into creamed spinach.

  Lance Sussman : She didn't... It's not true! YOU'RE the bitch! YOU'RE the one I'd like to kill!

  [Lance runs from the restroom]