Bruce Almighty (2003) Poster

Morgan Freeman: God



  • God : Parting your soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs and still finds time to take her kid to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says "no" to drugs and "yes" to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. But what they don't realize is THEY have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.

  • God : No matter how filthy something gets, you can always clean it right up.

  • God : Grace. You want her back?

    Bruce : No. I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through Your eyes.

    God : Now THAT'S a prayer.

  • God : [reading from a manuscript of what Bruce said the previous evening]  "The gloves are off, God.", "God has taken my bird and my bush.", "God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass.", "Smite me, O Mighty Smiter." Now, I'm not much for blasphemy, but that last one made me laugh.

  • Bruce : Lord, feed the hungry, and bring peace to all of mankind. How's that?

    God : Great... If you wanna be Miss America.

  • Bruce : There were so many. I just gave them all what they want.

    God : Yeah. But since when does anyone have a clue about what they want?

  • God : [walking across the lake with Bruce]  There are only 2 rules. You can't tell anybody you're God, believe me you don't want that kind of attention, and you can't mess with free will.

    Bruce : Can I ask why?

    God : Yes, you can! That's the beauty of it!

  • Bruce : [to God, after Grace breaks up with him]  How do you make someone love you without affecting Free Will?

    God : [snorts]  Heh, welcome to my world, son. If you come up with an answer to that one, let me know.

  • Bruce : Where are you going?

    God : I'm taking a vacation.

    Bruce : God doesn't take vacations. Does he? Do... ye?

    God : Did you ever heard of the Dark Ages? Besides, I'm covered. You can clear everything up in five minutes, if you want to. Right?

  • Bruce : [shocked]  Are you spying on me? Who are you?

    God : I'm the one. Creator of the heavens and Earth. Alpha and Omega.

    Bruce : Oh, I see where this is going.

    God : Bruce... I'm God.

    Bruce : Bingo! Yahtzee! Is that your final answer? Our survey says... God! Bing bing bing bing bing! Well, it was nice to meet you, God. Thank you for the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the Apocalypse. Oh, and by the way, you SUCK!

  • Homeless Man : [last "sign"; holding up]  "ARMAGEDON OUTA HERE"

    God : [the man itself morphs into God; uses hands to cut to black]  Clap-clap.

  • God : Triumph is born out of struggle, faith is the alchemist. If you want pictures like these, you'll need to use some dark colors.

  • Bruce : [being overwhelmed with hearing prayers]  Give me a break!

    God : [Bruce is instantly transported to meet with him]  Really something, isn't it?

    Bruce : Is this heaven?

    God : No, this is Mount Everest. You should flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time. But I guess you can't now, being dead and all.

    Bruce : [after a pause]  I'm DEAD?

    God : Naw, I'm just messing with ya.

    Bruce : That's not funny, Man! That is NOT funny.

  • God : [while he and Bruce are mopping the floor]  Allllllrighty then.

  • God : You can't kneel down in the middle of a highway and live to talk about it, son.

  • God : [referring to the seven fingers on Bruce's right hand]  I did the same thing to Gandhi, he didn't eat for three weeks.

  • God : Bruce, you have a divine spark. You have a gift for bringing joy and laughter to the world. I know, I created you.

    Bruce : Quit bragging.

  • Bruce : What if I need you? What if I have questions?

    God : That's your problem, Bruce. That's everybody's problem. You keep looking up.

  • Bruce , God : It's good.

  • Bruce : [chuckles]  This is hilarious. So you're the boss and the electrician and the janitor. Must be a killer Christmas party. Don't get drunk, though. One of you might need a ride home.

    God : [Bruce laughs followed by him laughing]  You always were funny, Bruce. Just like your father. He didn't mind rolling up his sleeves either, son. People underestimate the benefit of good old manual labor. There's freedom in it. Some of the happiest people in the world go home smelling to high heaven at the end of the day.

  • God : [Approaching Bruce]  You've been doing a lot of complaining about me, Bruce. Quite frankly, I'm tired of it.

    Bruce : [frightened]  Wait, wait, wait. Don't come near me, seriously. When I'm backed into a corner, I'm like a wild animal! I don't wanna hurt you, but I will out of instinct.

    God : [unimpressed]  You haven't won a fight since grade five and that was against a girl.

    Bruce : [pauses]  Yeah, but she was HUGE. She even held me back.

    God : And the sun was in your eyes.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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