Bruce Almighty (2003) Poster

Morgan Freeman: God



  • God : Parting your soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs and still finds time to take her kid to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says "no" to drugs and "yes" to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. But what they don't realize is *they* have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.

  • God : No matter how filthy something gets, you can always clean it right up.

  • God : Grace. You want her back?

    Bruce : No. I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through Your eyes.

    God : Now THAT'S a prayer.

  • God : [reading from a manuscript of what Bruce said the previous evening]  "The gloves are off, God.", "God has taken my bird and my bush.", "God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass.", "Smite me, O Mighty Smiter." Now, I'm not big on blasphemy, but that last one made me laugh.

  • Bruce : Lord, feed the hungry, and bring peace to all of mankind. How's that?

    God : Great... If you wanna be Miss America.

  • Bruce : How do you make so many people love you without affecting Free Will?

    God : [snorts]  Heh, welcome to my world, son. If you come up with an answer to that one, let me know.

  • Bruce : Who are you?

    God : I'm the one. The Divine Being. Alpha and Omega.

    Bruce : Oh, I see where this is going.

    God : Bruce... I'm God.

    Bruce : Bingo! Yahtzee! Is that your final answer? Our survey says... God! Bing bing bing bing bing! Well, it was nice to meet you, God. Thank you for the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the Apocalypse. Oh, and by the way, you SUCK!

  • Bruce : There were so many. I just gave them all what they want.

    God : Yeah. But since when does anyone have a clue about what they want?

  • Homeless Man : [last "sign"; holding up]  "ARMAGEDON OUTA HERE"

    God : [the man itself morphs into God; uses hands to cut to black]  Clap-clap.

  • Bruce : [being overwhelmed with hearing prayers]  Give me a break!

    God : [Bruce is instantly transported to meet with him]  Really something, isn't it?

    Bruce : Is this heaven?

    God : No, this is Mount Everest. You should flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time. But I guess you can't now, being dead and all.

    Bruce : [after a pause]  I'm "dead"?

    God : Naw, I'm just messing with ya.

    Bruce : That's not funny, Man! That is "not" funny.

  • Bruce : Where are you going?

    God : I'm taking a vacation.

    Bruce : God doesn't take vacations. Does he?... Do... ye?

    God : Did you ever hear of the dark ages? Besides, I'm covered. You can clear everything up in five minutes, if you want to. Right?

  • God : [walking across the lake with Bruce]  There are only 2 rules. You can't tell anybody you're God, believe me you don't want that kind of attention, and you can't mess with free will.

    Bruce : Can I ask why?

    God : Yes, you can! That's the beauty of it!

  • God : Allllllrighty then.

  • God : Triumph is born out of struggle, faith is the alchemist. If you want pictures like these, you'll need to use some dark colors.

  • God : You can't kneel down in the middle of a highway and live to talk about it, son.

  • Bruce , God : It's good.

  • God : [referring to the seven fingers on Bruce's right hand]  I did the same thing to Gandhi, he didn't eat for three weeks.

  • God : Bruce, you have a divine spark. You have a gift for bringing joy and laughter to the world. I know, I created you.

    Bruce : Quit bragging.

  • Bruce : So you're the janitor, electrician, the boss. Must be one hell of a Christmas party... don't get drunk though, one of you may need a ride home

    God : [Bruce laughs followed by him laughing]  You've always had a sense of humor, Bruce, just like your father.

  • Bruce : What if I need you? What if I have questions?

    God : That's your problem, Bruce. That's everybody's problem. You keep looking up.

  • God : [Approaching Bruce]  You've been doing a lot of complaining about me, Bruce. Quite frankly, I'm tired of it.

    Bruce : Wait, really. I'm warning you. When I'm backed into a corner, I'm like a wild animal!

    God : You haven't won a fight since the fifth grade and that was against a girl.

    Bruce : Yeah, but she was *huge*.

    God : And the sun was in your eyes.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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