Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
![]() |
Phil Caracas | ... | Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter |
![]() |
Murielle Varhelyi | ... | Maxine Shreck |
![]() |
Maria Moulton | ... | Mary Magnum |
![]() |
Tim Devries | ... | Father Eustace |
![]() |
Ian Driscoll | ... | Johnny Golgotha |
![]() |
Josh Grace | ... | Dr. Praetorious |
![]() |
Tracy Lance | ... | Gloria Oddbottom |
![]() |
Glen Jones | ... | Father Alban |
![]() |
Mike Funk | ... | Danny Sabbath |
![]() |
Lucky Ron | ... | Blind Jimmy Leper |
![]() |
Johnny Vegas | ... | Himself |
![]() |
Jeff Moffet | ... | Santos |
![]() |
Ivan Freud | ... | Narrator |
![]() |
Erica Murton | ... | Maggie |
![]() |
Alex Godin | ... | Father Avellino |
The first testament says "an eye for an eye." The second testament says "love thy neighbour." The third testament KICKS ASS! The filmmaking team that brought you Harry Knuckles and won the "Spirit of Slamdance" prize with Harry Knuckles and the Treasure of the Aztec Mummy ups the ante with this tale of the ultimate action hero: Jesus Christ. The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight. Combining kung-fu action with biblical prophecy and a liberal dose of humour, the film teams the Savior with Mexican wrestling hero El Santos against mythological horrors and science gone mad, and also manages to address contemporary sexual politics. And did we mention that it's a musical? This sure ain't Sunday School. Written by Lee Demarbre <leedemarbre@rogers.com>
I feel betrayed. Here we have Jesus Christ engaging in martial arts combat. With vampires. Lesbian vampires. While teaming with El Santo. How can you miss!? Well, you can miss when you have no talent to back the thing up. The acting just hurt, the fight scenes were slow and dully choreographed, and the rendition of Santo was just depressing. It shows that some times a small budget can really hurt a movie.
The pacing is terrible--there is no sense of urgency at all and many actions aren't explained at all. Like I said, the plot is fantastic, I could barely contain my excitement, and yet it somehow managed to do everything wrong. I'm so sorry to give this movie a bad review, but I have to say it's only worth it for the morbidly curious.