10 user 4 critic

Quest for the Egg Salad (2002)

Journey with us now to Central Earth and follow the misadventures of young Balfazar and friends as they set out on a quest to retrieve the sacred "egg salad"!


Chris Seaver

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Credited cast:
Jesse Green Jesse Green ... Balfazar
Chris Seaver Chris Seaver ... Duglos the Sak
Tim Ekkebus Tim Ekkebus ... Astrogon - The Goblin King
Teen Ape Teen Ape ... Himself
Casey Bowker Casey Bowker ... Blayu
Lloyd Kaufman ... Gandalfini
Tina Krause ... Nienna
Doug Sakmann ... Goblin King
TeenApe TeenApe ... Teenape
Zafer Ulkucu Zafer Ulkucu ... Orc1
Bob Heckman Bob Heckman ... Orc2 (as Bobby Heckman)
Mark Singleton Mark Singleton ... Baglione
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Brian Singleton Brian Singleton ... Elegant Elliot


Journey with us now to Central Earth and follow the misadventures of young Balfazar and friends as they set out on a quest to retrieve the sacred "egg salad"!

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


One Egg Salad to rule them all, One Egg Salad to find them, One Egg Salad to Bring them all, and in the bathroom Bind them See more »



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$10,000 (estimated)
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User Reviews

WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!! It has NO redeeming qualities at all.
21 January 2007 | by takatomonSee all my reviews

this film is the absolute WORST i've ever seen! i've seen some REAL stinkers too like Manos: The Hand of Fate, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Gymkata, Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women, They, War of the Robots, Robot Holocaust, Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy and Hercules in New York, to name a few, but this film is in a league all it's own! i'd previously considered Backwoods to be the absolute most hideous film with no redeeming values until i saw this steaming pile of doo.

i actually LIKE cheesy movies and low budget parodies, but this is no Attack of the Killer Tomatos or Dark Star.

basically, it's just a bunch of the most obnoxious suburban teenage jerks with a camcorder thinking they're funny and making a movie. it's supposed to be a parody of Lord of the Rings, but all it is is those obnoxious punks constantly talking about sex acts (with A lot of very sadistic mysogyny), using ebonics and in general acting like idiots.

this is "toilet humor" taken to it's extreme and is not funny when that's all this cast is capable of. imagine a bunch of suburban junior high students who mouth off to their parents without ever being disciplined and you'll get an idea of the level these talentless morons operate on.

if you think calling women nothing but "b####" constantly and talking about raping them, pouring acid in their eyes and then punching them in the stomach or pretending you're "straight outta da hood" for an hour and a half straight = parody, then watch this movie. otherwise, there's NOTHING else going on in it! it's that one dimensional.

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