Six friends, on their annual camping trip, are having the time of their lives, enjoying the lake, roasting marshmallows, and telling scary stories around the fire. As the night goes on, ... See full summary »
Defense attorney Jennifer Garrick acquires a Pinocchio puppet from a condemned serial killer. Her pre-teen daughter, Zoe, mistakes the puppet as a birthday present and grows really attached... See full summary »
Lewis Van Bergen,
The story of six people caught in the unusual (except in horror films) predicament of being stranded in a deserted fishing lodge with a host of alien-infected, mutant amoeba-controlled zombies at their doorstep.
Sarah Grant Brendecke,
ODYSSEUS, The Warrior King, has been away from Ithaca for twenty years. The first ten he spent fighting the Trojan War; the last ten he spent fighting to get home. Among his adventures is ... See full summary »
Also known as Earth Alien, aka "title that doesn't make any sense"
Someone is killing people in health spas and gyms(42, apparently... and no, I don't know if there's a relation to the meaning of life... however, apparently, no one wants to shut down these businesses until they catch, you know, one of the most prolific murderers), namely, the very attractive people(and I'm sure the so-called nerds from their high schools are now authoring fan letters to him). We get to see one such massacre, and it's apparently so overpowering for the editor that he has an epileptic fit for the duration of the sequence. Thankfully, we do get to see two women fully naked in this first scene, though this unfortunately is not a trend... only one other hot chick in this shows skin, and that's pretty early on, too. Once that's over, you may as well stop watching. The characters are flat. Acting is lousy(did you expect otherwise from Roberts(as one of the cops trying to get the "person" doing the bloodletting, along with Phil YoMotha) and Vosloo?(who's also going after him/it... and ruining the economy by using worthless bills)). John Rhys-Davies is given nothing to do other than embarrass himself... it's like he lost a bet or something. The comic relief is poor, we get several awkward sex jokes, and at times, you can barely tell if something is meant to be a punchline or not. Dialog is bad. There's not much gore or violence. The "action" is meh, so are the FX. This has an extremely repetitive chase. The flick is like a lame Predator knockoff, with the "creature" looking exactly like a human(yes, we get to see a different "face" for him, for little other reason than to have it, and note that it isn't the one on the cover... I think that's Batboy, actually) and using cloaking tech less(and sometimes really just to avoid showing something), with one brief Evil Dead 2 bit(and *no*, it is not worth it to rent this for that... Raimi's is far funnier). It's only 82 minutes long sans credits! I guess in its own weird way, it has its heart in the right place. The obvious message of caring about animals and thinking highly of them is rammed down our throats for the last half hour. If this wasn't so unknown, maybe that would have gotten a reaction. Probably about as positive as the one Avatar got, with morons killing themselves and getting depressed, utterly missing the point that there is beauty in *our* nature, and we forget that because we understand it. Anyway, this just isn't that entertaining. I recommend this only to those who love B-movies. 1/10
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