Mean Machine

This film is about a disgraced national football coach who gets imprisoned for assault. He coaches the prison football team to play against the guards.

While watching the first half of the film, I was so sure that I would not enjoy it. All the roughness and senseless violence put me off completely. However, as soon as the football match kicks in, I was amazed by the way it lifts my spirits. The match occupies 30 minute screen time, but there is not a second of boredom. Instead, it is so mightily engaging and thoroughly intense. It felt as if I was there to experience the match, and just like everyone, I was hoping for the ultimate pride that would last forever. I am truly impressed by the incredible story telling of "Mean Machine".

If sometimes just lacking the creativity and vitality of the 1974 film, this is an above average sports/prison drama. There are some flaws though, one or two of the characters are thinly sketched, the plot is a touch simplistic and the first half hour just lacked the energy of the latter half of the film. That said, this is well worth watching. The whole film is excellently filmed and directed, and the soccer scenes are very well done. The final third is absolutely riveting, and really makes you want to see what the outcome is at the end. The music score is fine, and the performances are very good. Vinnie Jones is convincing in his first leading role, and David Kelly is stellar as the benevolent Doc. The best pieces of casting are (despite the accent) Jason Statham as maverick keeper and Jason Flemying's rather unconventional commentator. In conclusion, this is a good film. 7/10 Bethany Cox

I remember my parents telling me they liked this movie a lot after seeing it on Sky Movies . So what you ask ? Well it turns out my parents absolutely detest football so as entertainment this must have a lot more going for it than just soccer

What becomes clear very early on is that it's not really a sports movie it's a prison movie as former England international Danny Meehan ( Vinnie Jones ) is jailed for three years for assault . To be honest the screenplay exaggerates the English/British penal system somewhat as Danny is assaulted by sadistic screws and rubs shoulders with inmates doing 30 years and meeting Monk who has killed at least 23 people

But who said this was a documentary ? It's entertainment for the masses and it does succeed . It's interesting to note that that this was based on an American movie from the mid 1970s and the Brits have done a far better job adapting this than the Americans did with those two movies that starred Michael Caine and by some irony the only real problem this movie suffers from at a producer level is that it's perhaps a little too parochial , I mean would anyone in America understand what the characters are saying ? And since one of the producers is Guy Ritchie he deserves some congratulations to passing the directing helm to Barry Skolnick and letting him direct his way . Weren't audiences getting tired of people emulating Guy Ritchie's directing style by 2001 ? As it stands we have only a recurring cast from LOCK STOCK AND TWO SMOKING Barrels to suggest Ritchie had much of a hand in it

So congratulations to the producers for making a relatively entertaining and commercial British movie . When I come to think about the idea of re-making a mainly forgotten American movie starring Burt Reynolds seems like a stupid idea but it works . I bet this movie will still be more highly regarded this time than the Hollywood remake THE LONGEST YARD which is released this week

I could understand not liking this movie if someone was expecting Citizen Kane (and if you were, you should be flogged). For a straight to video/cable movie, it had great prod. value, sharp dialogue, and a great supporting cast of Guy Ritchie characters. Throw in some solid football and you have a film to help you forget the worries of your day. The commentary by the two Bobs alone makes it worthwhile. Jones is good, but Statham steals the show in almost all of his scenes. Like the original (The Longest Yard), it was made to entertain the audience, not to provoke some deep introspective thought on the existence of God. See it, rent it, buy it! If you cant discern the heavy British slang, throw on the subtitles. If you don't have a DVD player, how in the hell are you managing to read this?

Based on the 1974 American movie, The Longest Yard, Mean Machine is about an ex-pro footballer/soccer player who is sent to prison. Hated at first, he gains friends when he begins to coach an all-convict soccer team against the prison guards' already-established team.

I haven't seen the original so I can't compare them but I found Mean Machine pretty enjoyable. Vinnie Jones does a good job as Danny Meehan and it's nice to see him in a role where he's not the scary one. I liked the subtle humour as well, from Massive's ironic name to the unpredictable Monk (the crazy "Scot even the Scots are afraid of" - convincingly played by Jason Statham) to the pair of commentators, Bob and Bob at the final match.

The DVD I saw included audio tracks for both the original UK theatrical release and the "domestic" (i.e. American) release. After watching the original, I learned that the American had a few words re-dubbed to make the language easier to understand for these audiences. I then watched the second version and didn't find much of a difference between the two. There were some things that the character Nitro said that were noticeably re-dubbed (which didn't help much considering the way he shouts!) and a few slang terms were changed to more international expressions. I think some reviewers of this film may have been unaware of this and so complained about the more obvious dubbing.

The only one I actually found helpful was when a character says he's in prison "for [an abbreviation]." I didn't catch what he said and the American version replaced the letters with "assault and battery." I found one change a bit puzzling though: Mr. Sykes gives the governor of the prison tips for horse racing, writing letters next to his choices on a newspaper. After losing money on a false winner ("W"), Sykes explains to the governor that "it got smudged in the rain. It says EW: either way." This was changed to "EW: to place." I thought the original was quite clear and the new one no longer matches the letters.

Overall, it's not a bad film. I liked it enough to watch it twice and if you like football/soccer and prison films, there aren't many that combine the two to choose from.