Mr. Deeds (2002) Poster


John Turturro: Emilio Lopez



  • Emilio : I fear you are underestimating the sneakiness, sir.

  • Emilio : You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You, sir, you are definitely fired.

    Cecil Anderson : I'd like to stay. I think I can do some good around here.

    [Emilio looks at Deeds, who nods in approval] 

    Emilio : Okay, not fired. But tomorrow morning, you will let me change your socks.

    Cecil Anderson : [Weirded out]  Okay.

  • Emilio : How can I thank you?

    Longfellow Deeds : All I want is your friendship, Emilio. You're a good man.

    Emilio : Deeds! How about a billion dollars?

    Longfellow Deeds : Alright.

    Emilio : Done.

  • Longfellow Deeds : Whoa, you kinda snuck up on me there...

    Emilio : I am very very sneaky, sir.

  • Emilio : Usually, when you are black out drunk you don't dream... or so I read.

  • Chuck Cedar : Cute, bigmouth.

    Emilio : Sir?

    Chuck Cedar : As soon as that moron goes back to Cowpie Falls, you are out of here on your fat, Puerto Rican ass.


    Emilio : I hail from Spain, sir.

    [gives the middle finger to Cedar's retreating back] 

    Emilio : Ole.

  • [Deeds' poem is printed on greeting cards all over the state] 

    Babe : "Hard to breathe / Feels like floating..."

    Reuben : "So full of love my heart's exploding..."

    Emilio : [stroking a beautiful woman]  "Mouth is dry / Hands are shaking..."

    Cecil Anderson : [seated next to Kitty on a bench]  "My heart is yours for the taking..."

    Nazo, the Italian Delivery Man : [stroking a cat]  "Acting weird / Not myself..."

    Jan : "Dancing around like the Keebler elf..."

    Longfellow Deeds : "Finally time / for this poor schlubb / To know how it feels to fall in lub."

  • [Longfellow Deeds is showing Emilio his frostbitten foot] 

    Emilio : The hideousness of that foot will haunt my dreams forever.

    Longfellow Deeds : Oh, yeah. I've heard that before

  • Emilio : Here are some aspirins, Mr. Deeds. They make your head seem smaller.

  • Longfellow Deeds : How did I get into these pajamas?

    Emilio : I changed you. I was very gentle, sir.

  • Emilio : That is my mother's name... That is my birth date... That is my MONEY?

  • [Lopez fires everyone on the board, and is about to fire Cecil Anderson... ] 

    Longfellow Deeds : Ah, hold on a moment. Allow him to hang around a little longer. He can do a good job if you give him the chance.

    Emilio : Very well...

    [to Cecil] 

    Emilio : I shall expect you at seven tomorrow morning, so that I can change your socks.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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