5.0/10
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6 user 14 critic

Once Upon a Girl.... (1976)

Mother Goose is on trial for obscenity because she wants to tell the "real" versions of her tales. Jack explores the Giant's wife, the Prince checks if "he" fits Cinderella and Red Riding Hood gets abused on her way to a wedding.

Directors:

Don Jurwich, Jack Conrad

Writers:

Don Jurwich (screenplay), Joel Seibel (screenplay)
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Cast

Cast overview:
Richmond Johnson Richmond Johnson
Carol Piacente Carol Piacente
Kelly Gordon Kelly Gordon
Hal Smith ... Mother Goose (as Mother Goose)
Frank Welker ... Jack / Pimpy / Prince / Fairy Godmother / Hunter (voice) (as Jack Beanstalk)
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Storyline

The movie features three animated segments with live action wraparound story. In the sexless live action part, Mother Goose, played by a man in drag, is on trial for obscenity because she wants to tell the real suppressed versions of her tales. Young Jack is a doofy horn dog kid who sells his cow to a pervy dwarf for sex with a hot gypsy woman and some beans. Once the beanstalk grows sky high, Jack climbs it and ends up inside the Giant's wife, literally. Even his horny pet frog gets in on the action when it sees a busty peasant girl washing up at the lake. In the second segment, Prince Charming has a dreamlike tryst with secretive virginal Cinderella one night and goes on a search to find this mysterious virgin by checking the naughty parts of every women in his kingdom along the way. Also, even the phrase "happily ever after" gets a different meaning here. In the final segment, ditsy voluptuous Little Red Riding Hood who keeps forgetting to put her cloths on gets sexually abused by ...

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Bedtime Stories For Grown-Ups See more »


Certificate:

See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

View content advisory »
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Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

20 June 1976 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

Once Upon a Girl See more »

Filming Locations:

Los Angeles, California, USA

Company Credits

Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Mono

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?

Quotes

Jack: [about his mother learning about trading the cow for the beans and beating him for it] Boy was she sore and now so is my ca-ca-ca- ass!, Gee I wish I hadn't sold the cow just so I could suck on that gypsy's ti-ti-tits,
[to his frog]
Jack: Remember those tits, Froggy?
[Froggy nods]
Jack: Wow, those were the softest things I ev-ev-ev wow!
[gets a boner]
Jack: and those ni-ni-nipples oh boy that warm wet fu-fu-fuzzy little pu-pu-pussy, woo hoo hoo hoo shit, I get h-h-horny just thinking about her again w-w-wow!, watch ...
[...]
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Connections

Referenced in Phelous & the Movies: Evil Toons (2012) See more »

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User Reviews

 
Crude in more ways than one.
14 December 2011 | by BA_HarrisonSee all my reviews

Mother Goose (Hal Smith) is arrested for disturbing the peace with her naughty stories; at her trial, she recounts several of her saucy tales to the judge, causing the occupants of the courtroom to become more and more sexually stimulated until, at last, they can contain their excitement no longer.

The success of Ralph Bakshi's Fritz the Cat (1972), the first animated film to receive an X-rating from the MPAA, kick-started a craze for animation full of adult humour and sex. Once Upon a Girl, which begins as live action but turns to animation to depict the amorous adventures of several fairy-tale characters, is about as risqué as it gets: Jack (he of the beanstalk) is depicted as a young pervert with a huge member, who shags a tree, goes at it with a gypsy woman, ejaculates on some magic beans, and clings on to the end of a giant's penis after hiding in the vagina of the big fella's wife; Prince Charming doesn't slip a glass slipper onto Cinderella's foot—he slips himself into Cinderella instead; and Little Red Riding Hood is repeatedly boned by randy woodsmen on her way to a wedding (which eventually turns into an orgy).

As undeniably vulgar as all of this is, the film proves to be crude in more ways than one, with a crap script full of dreadfully unfunny jokes, cheap-looking animation, and lousy voice talent. Quickly becoming both repetitive and boring, Once upon a Girl is a waste of animator's ink and paint, and the viewer's time.


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