Seth Rogen: Ron Garner
Lloyd Haythe : Man, you Americans are such nancies about fighting. Back in the East End, you can't even finish a Yorkshire pudding without some guy - BWAMM! - to the back of the head.
[Ron and Marshall look confused]
Lloyd Haythe : All right. Are you two men, or pretty little ladies?
Ron Garner : Pretty lady right here.
Marshall Nesbitt : I'm a pretty lady.
Rachel Lindquist : [Rachel has just discovered Marshall's new Japanese girlfriend, who doesn't speak English] She's got the boobs of a six-year-old and she's like, dumb.
Lloyd Haythe : I don't think a dumb girl is necessarily wrong for him.
Ron Garner : She's not dumb, she just seems dumb 'cause she's foreign. Ha! Like you, Lloyd.
Lloyd Haythe : I'm going to hurt you when you least expect it.
[Ron has made several thousand dollars trading stocks online]
Ron Garner : I could buy a decent used car right now; or an amazingly thorough prostitute.
Rachel Lindquist : He doesn't need to go to a doctor, he's getting better.
Ron Garner : No, he's not. He looks terrible. He looks like death. I almost buried him this morning.
Rachel Lindquist : That's because his body is releasing all the toxins.
Ron Garner : He needs a doctor. And not a witch doctor covered in mud, a real doctor with pills and a tongue depressor.
Rachel Lindquist : Doctors don't know anything. My uncle's stomach hurt once, so doctors took out his kidney, and it turned out there was nothing wrong with it, and now he has to go through life with no kidney.
Ron Garner : No, because you're born with two kidneys, you moron.
Lizzie Exley : [everyone has just discovered Steven's Dad nailing his R.A] You want your dad to give you space. Well, you should give him space. How would you feel if he said we couldn't go out?
Steven Karp : I guess so. God, this sucks.
Ron Garner : Yeah, man. Let's go back and see if they're doing the hog.
Ron Garner : Sleep don't drink no beer.