The Bride of Frank

The plot is at the kindergarten level. It's just a crazy man killing people in gory methods, often doing obscene things with the corpses. His "friends" help him along the way and participating in one murder during his birthday party, of which some of his presents include an inflatable sheep!! The atmosphere is really bad. It mostly takes place in a New Jersey trucking warehouse, in and around trucks, and in the company's office building where Frank lives. If anything, there's a lack of atmosphere! It just plods along without any connection between scenes. It's just a set of scenes smashed together.

None of the cast is worth mentioning but I'll mention one, the main "cast member", as none can act in the slightest. Frank O'Brien plays...*Drum Roll* Frank!! His character is an exaggeration of his real life.

For the movie, Frank is an excessively slow and old man who was once homeless and an alcoholic. Now he does menial tasks with a trucking company.

True story is that Frank O'Brien found his wife in bed with their priest and, feeling so bad, he became homeless and alcoholic. He's now old and suffering from some type of senility and dementia. He has dentures but that does NOT account for his speech impediment. His words are so unintelligible that his words are subtitled in yellow -- only his! Aside from this, I feel sad for Frank O'Brien because it seems as if he, and his slowness, are just being used and exploited for the amusement of the crew and the viewers. But mostly I found it just sad.

The only Cast member of "some" fame is Tasim Atkinson who plays The Tease, one of Frank's personal ad women and victims. In real life, she's a "big woman" exotic dancer. She appeared on The Howard Stern Show a few times and promoted the movie -- probably the only reason that this movie was sold anywhere.

Directed and written by Steve Ballot as Escalp Don Bladé. He's obviously an amateur. His writing is terrible and without direction. He used a ridiculous pseudo name which, in itself, is amateurish.

The cinematography is terrible, like the rest of this masterpiece. It's obvious that it's shot with camcorders and edited with VCRs and other low-tech equipment. The picture is faded and the hues are awful.

The SFX, ugh!! Basically, it has a lot of fake blood, fake wounds, ripped out eyes, and several fake penises -- yes, penises!! The sound is like through a tunnel. The music is sparse. The best song is by a band called the Young and Fabulous but even that isn't great.

This is, without a doubt, THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN! The story is ridiculous, the cinematography is awful, terrible effects, terrible sound, I can NOT understand Frank's speech which is exploited and hurtful. The title is irrelevant unless you watch the deleted scenes/alternate ending. The festival extra bashes Frank more! Butter sound, state of the art crap! A few jokes are mildly amusing but most are just too vulgar or immature to be funny. I couldn't wait for the DVD to end!!

Don't waste your time on this crap which makes Troma look like Broadway!! There's tons of extras for such a crappy movie.