Can't Smeg Won't Smeg (1998 TV Special)
Chris Barrie: Rimmer
Ainsley Harriott : I want you to show me all those wonderful ingredients you've brought. We're going to make a superb recipe. Okay, boys, let's see what you've brought so we can cook some culinary delight.
Rimmer : Well, we searched the galley cupboards and this is what we've found... one dead space weevil.
Lister : We got some wine made from urine recyc.
Rimmer : Ah! The '52, an excellent year, very smooth. No aftertaste or hair loss.
Lister : But I don't suppose that'd bother you, would it?
[Lister removes Ainsley's hat to reveal he is bald]
Kryten : Also we have a Mimian bladder fish, sir.
Duane Dibbley : I've got some rice pudding in the bowl I used when I get my hair cut!
Lister : We've got an insole...
Kryten : Er... a Pot Noodle.
Lister : Caroline Carmen's ear.
Ainsley Harriott : That is totally unhygienic!
Lister : No, no, it's been kept in the fridge!
Ainsley Harriott : [Ainsley loses his temper] Now listen you guys! What the hell do you think you're doing? I'm not going to be cooking with any piss wine, no armadillo whatever-it-is, Mimian trout and yeah, your rice pudding too! Get that in there! Enough, right? You'll be cooking what I say you'll be cooking!