Kathryn Hahn credited as playing...
Michelle
- Ben: Excuse me, ma'am.
- Jeannie Ashcroft: Holy crap!
- Ben: Where's Andie Anderson?
- Jeannie Ashcroft: Uh, she's not here.
- Ben: Where is she?
- Michelle Rubin: She quit.
- Jeannie Ashcroft: She's got an interview in Washington.
- Ben: When is she leaving?
- Jeannie Ashcroft: Today.
- Ben: When?
- Jeannie Ashcroft: Well, like, now.
- Ben: You're not a therapist, are you?
- Michelle Rubin: Oh, haha... no.
- Ben: Good job, though. You owe me three hundred bucks.
- Michelle Rubin: So, tell me, how long have you guys been seeing each other?
- Andie: Seven days.
- Michelle Rubin: Seven days. Interesting.
- Ben: Is that too soon to be seeing a therapist?
- Andie: Well, Ben, seven days isn't like a lifetime, or anything...
- Ben: It's like a week.
- Ben: Look, look, look, wait a minute. The one night we even thought about having sex, all right, she up and decides she's going to nickname my...
- Michelle Rubin: Penis?
- Ben: Yeah. "Princess Sophia." You want to talk about shooting a man's horse? Whop! Come on!
- Michelle Rubin: Oh, you are never going to pull this off.
- Andie: Watch me. Tonight, I'll hook a guy. Tomorrow, pull the switch. Before the ten days are up, I'm going to have this guy running for his life.
- Jeannie Ashcroft: You're not going to burn his apartment down or bite him, or anything?
- Andie: No! I'm going to limit myself to doing everything girls do wrong in relationships. Basically, everything we know guys hate. I'll be clingy, needy...
- Jeannie Ashcroft: Be touchy-feely.
- Andie: Yeah.
- Jeannie Ashcroft: Ooh, call him in the middle of the night and tell him everything you had to eat that day.
- Michelle Rubin: What's wrong with that?
- [Andie & Jeanie stare at Michelle]
- Michelle Rubin: I'm kidding.
- Andie: Why do they always forget my bacon?
- Jeannie Ashcroft: I can't believe you got that guy knocked out.
- Andie: Only for a few seconds.
- Lana Jong: Andie, I am loving your notes on this piece.
- Andie: [with her mouth full] Thank you, Lana.
- Lana Jong: When are you seeing him again?
- Andie: Tonight. He's inviting me over to his house for dinner.
- Lana Jong: Excellent! I've got a feeling about this one.
- Michelle Rubin: I hate it when she pops her head in like that.
- Andie: I never noticed it.
- Lana Jong: A-hem. I heard that. And Andie, tonight take smaller bites.
- Andie: Thank you, Lana.
- Michelle Rubin: Oh, my God!
- Jeannie Ashcroft: Disgusting! I can barely eat over here.
- [Andie takes an even bigger bite]
- Michelle Rubin: Why this place?
- Jeannie Ashcroft: It's perfect. Hi, Ingrid.
- Mullen's Hostess: Hi.
- Jeannie Ashcroft: Mullen's is the apres-work watering hole for the upwardly mobile.