Julianne Moore: Allison
[an alien bug is crawling inside Block's leg]
Dr. Allison Reed : What are you gonna do?
Dr. Paulson : We might have to amputate.
Harry Block : Whoa, Doc! Don't take the leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg.
Ira Kane : Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete.
Nurse Tate : Doctor, look!
Dr. Paulson : It's headed for his testicles.
Harry Block : Take it! Take it! Take the leg!
Dr. Allison Reed : Your Honor, if the Court would allow me to depose Dr. Kane?
Ira Kane : Depose *me*?
Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman : Oh, we think your past is very relevant, Doctor Kane. These issues speak directly to his competence as a scientist.
Ira Kane : Dr. Kane, you were a top-level researcher at USAMRIID from '94 to '97, were you not?
Dr. Allison Reed : Yes, that's correct.
Dr. Allison Reed : And you were summarily dismissed in the summer of 1997. Any idea why?
Ira Kane : My services were no longer required?
Dr. Allison Reed : Uh-huh. So, in your opinion, your firing had nothing to do with an experimental anthrax vaccine that you developed and administered to nearly 140,000 U.S. soldiers in May of that year?
Ira Kane : [leans in and whispers, smiling] I see where you're going with this.
Ira Kane : It may have been a factor, you'd have to ask the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Dr. Allison Reed : I'll make a note to do that. But for now, can you tell me what happened to the soldiers who were inoculated with your vaccine?
Ira Kane : Well, uh, none of them got anthrax, if that's what you're asking.
Dr. Allison Reed : What did they get?
Ira Kane : Um, well, as with any new vaccine, there were certain side effects associated with it.
Dr. Allison Reed : Could you be more specific?
Ira Kane : Well, it was a wide range of things, it's very technical, I'd hate to waste the court's time getting into it right now.
Dr. Allison Reed : Humor me.
Ira Kane : Some debilitating stomach cramps... severe diarrhea... memory loss.
Dr. Allison Reed : Yes? Go on. Any more symptoms?
[Harry is looking mortified and shocked at the defense table]
Ira Kane : Partial facial paralysis, temporary blindness, drooling, bleeding gums, erectile dysfunction, uncontrollable flatulence. I think that's it.
Dr. Allison Reed : One more question. Do you happen to remember what the soldiers called this illness, Doctor Kane?
Ira Kane : Yeah. They called it "The Kane Madness."
[the Governor and science teams watch while an alien primate smashes the command site's video monitor cameras]
Carla : They just took out 6 and 7.
Lt. Cryer : All the monitors are down!
Governor Lewis : Well, that can't be good!
[a rumbling is heard]
Ira Kane : That's the elevator.
Col. Flemming : We have no personnel down there.
Dr. Allison Reed : They've breached the airlock.
Governor Lewis : [incredulously] What, the fuzzy no-nosed chimp?
Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman : We evacuate, make it safe, and then we burn the alien menace right the hell out of there.
Dr. Allison Reed : With what?
Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman : With napalm. Lots and lots of napalm.
Ira Kane : Napalm? Why don't you just nuke 'em while you're at it?
Col. Flemming : [with an eager grin] What about nukes?
[Woodman starts thinking about it]
Governor Lewis : Pull your horns in there, boys! Nobody's dropping an H-bomb on my state!
[the alien creature turns around to reveal what looks like spherical buttocks]
Harry Block : [grinning] Ira, look at that backside! Theater in the round. That's the kind of trunk space you want in a late-model car. Who does that remind you of?
Ira Kane : I've no idea what you're talking about.
Harry Block : She's been throwing it at you enough.
Ira Kane : [incredulously] Dr. Reed?
Harry Block : Bull's-eye.
[Cut to the Ops Room]
Lt. Cryer : Excuse me, Dr. Reed, did you authorize a walk-through?
Dr. Allison Reed : No. Why?
Lt. Cryer : Um, you should probably take a look at something. Here.
[On the computer screen, they see and hear Block teasing:]
Harry Block : That's the kind of rump you want to roast! The kind of muffin you'd like to butter!
Ira Kane : That is, that is a nice image. And I appreciate your assumption that there is an actual sexual human being underneath all Dr. Reed's deep-seated neuroses, but I don't think so.
Harry Block : What?
Ira Kane : Yeah. I think she is a humorless ice queen.