Foodfight!

Foodfight! is a cynical, cheap, patronizing, lifeless, lazy, unfunny, tasteless, shoddy, disrespectful, offensive-to-anyone-with-a-brain piece of unmitigated garbage, sure, but it's much more than that.

Because it is meant to be entertainment aimed at children, and because its message amounts to nothing more than "BUY OUR BRANDS, OUR BRANDS LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE OUR BRANDS, EAT OUR FOOD, EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT..." Foodfight! is not just a bad movie.

Foodfight! is PURE EVIL.

So far, the movie has only made $73,000 on a (shocking) $65 million budget. I guess there is some justice in the world.

Ten years ago, when Threshold Entertainment's hard drives were stolen, writer/director/producer Lawrence Kasanoff called it an act of "industrial espionage." I salute the brave souls who actively hindered the production of this film. You fought for the brain cells of children everywhere. I think watching even fifteen minutes of this movie has made me stupider.

Don't just skip this movie. Burn it, then bury it in a desolate field somewhere. It deserves to die the worthless drop of despicable piddle it is.

Also, ƒ*¢% Larry Kasanoff.