Dr. Dolittle 2 (2001)
Charisse: What am I supposed to do without my cell phone?
Dr. Dolittle: Here's some stamps. Learn how to write a letter or something.
Dr. Dolittle: You'll be the most famous bear in the world!
Archie: Bigger than Pooh?
Dr. Dolittle: If you get this right, everybody will be saying Winnie the Who!
Dr. Dolittle: [Archie burps] Hey! Don't you dare throw up on me!
Archie: [Groaning] Ooh! That's not where it's gonna come out. Ooh!
Steve Irwin (II): I am here with Dr. Dolittle, who can actually talk with animals. We're here about to capture this alligator right behind us, The trick to capturing this guy is to put your arms around his neck...
Alligator: Hey, Dolittle, What I'm doing is letting Steve think I don't hear him, when he comes for me, I'm gonna turn around and, Bob's your uncle, snap his arm off!
[Steve is still talking to camera]
Dr. Dolittle: Steve, I think he knows we're here.
Steve Irwin (II): Quiet, I don't wanna spoil the element of surprise, NOW!
Steve Irwin (II): Crikey! Me arm!
Archie: I am the Alpha Bear! Grrr! Grrr! Bears say "grrr," right?
Archie: It was the most embarrassing thing I've ever done, and I once rode a unicycle wearing a tutu! A tutu!
Dr. Dolittle: What are you guys, some kind of animal Mafia?
Raccoon: Mafia? Whoa, we don't know nothing about no Mafia. No, that's a myth.
Archie: [while running to get in shape] Oh yeah! Feel the burn! Feel the burn! Feel the butt cramp! Wait! Rub my butt. Rub my butt. Get back here, rub my butt. Please rub my butt.
The raven: Nevermore.
Rat #1: [Rat 1# and Rat# 2 are being held over a balcony] Hey! you know what rats spell backwards? Star!
Dr. Dolittle: Well, do you know what hot spells backwards?
Rat #1: I don't know. it sounds like
[Rats are dropped]
Rat #1: Tooahhhh!
Dr. Dolittle: Exactly!
Rat #1: [the rats land in dumpster] Do you know what this is?
Rat #2: Yes it is! Diapers!
Rat #1: My Favorite! Chocolate!
Dr. Dolittle: Alright, Archie, I'm not playing anymore. I want you to come out of there right now, you big coward!
Archie: Uh, excuse me, but who are you calling a coward?
[comes out of the cave]
Dr. Dolittle: You! I'm calling you a coward! You're a big coward for quitting like this!
Archie: Well, it's hard.
Dr. Dolittle: You wanna know what hard is, Archie? My wife is mad at me, my daughter's mad at me, and I'm spending my vacation with a pizza boy who greets me by saying "Hey, Dr. D, what's up?" Now I'm listening to a big furry baby saying that he wants to quit 'cause it's too hard!
Archie: Well, Ava laughed at me.
Dr. Dolittle: Oh, boo hoo! Ava laughed at me! I love her and I need her and she laughed at me! You know what? You don't even deserve Ava! Why would she want to spend her life with a coward like you?
[pokes Archie on the nose]
Archie: Hey, don't poke the bear, buddy.
Dr. Dolittle: Oh, I didn't poke a bear, 'cause if I poked a bear, a bear would be mauling me, so I don't know what I poked, but it sure as hell ain't no bear!
[pokes Archie again]
Archie: Hey, I'm warning you.
Dr. Dolittle: Yeah, and I'm poking you!
Archie: Stop it.
Dr. Dolittle: Alright, poke, poke, poke!
Archie: Alright, that's it.
[pushes Dolittle over the edge]
Archie: Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Dr. Dolittle: Uh-oh, what? What's the problem?
Archie: Ice cream is acting up.
Dr. Dolittle: What ice cream?
Archie: I got depressed after Sonny and Ava, and I went on a bender. And by the second gallon, I realized I'm in love with Ava and this ice cream called "Cherry Garcia."
Dr. Dolittle: [Trapped in the restroom while Archie is using the toilet] Oh, Archie!
Archie: [Breaks Wind] Oh, it ain't that bad. Come on. Whoo!
Dr. Dolittle: How smart do you have to be to pull your head out of the water when you can't breathe?
Joey The Racoon: Hey, when the Beaver offers you a fish, you take the fish!
Racoon: Hey Doc. These are some nice wheels here what do ya call this thing?
Dr. Dolittle: Oh, this is a Mustang.
Possum: Hey Doc is there a car named after me?
Dr. Dolittle: Naw, I don't think they make a Possum.
Possum: WHY NOT?
Dr. Dolittle: They usually don't make cars named after rodents.
Drunk Monkey: There's a place in France where the naked monkey's dance.
[doing a somersault down a hill in the forest to show off, Archie rolls right onto a pinecone]
Archie: Hey look at me, I've filled for you! Ah! Pinecone!
Dr. Dolittle: [after Archie pushes him over the edge] You know what, Archie? Just take your ass back to the circus!
Dr. Dolittle: How would you like to meet the man of your dreams?
Ava: You're real cute but I don't go inter-species.
Animal Control Officer: Now, there's nothing more dangerous than a half-sedated, half-unsedated bear. They have big, sharp teeth and claws and...
Dr. Dolittle: [interrupts] Excuse me, I'm Doctor Dolittle. What happened in here?
Animal Control Officer: Oh, well, he broke down the back door and then we found him ransacking the kitchen.
Dr. Dolittle: No...
Animal Control Officer: Yeah, sorry Doctor Dolittle, I was rooting for you.
Judge B. Duff: Doctor Dolittle? Do you feel you could rehabilitate a tame bear and mate it in the wild with a female?
Dr. Dolittle: Yes, I do, your honor.
Judge B. Duff: Well, in that case, I'll grant a one month's delay on the harvesting of Campbell's Grove. For one month, Doctor Dolittle, and that's it.
Dr. Dolittle: Thank you, sir.
Judge B. Duff: And Doctor, if that bear should so much as set one paw in a campsite or this town, I'll rescind this order immediately.
Dr. Dolittle: I understand completely your honor, thank you your honor, thank you.