Krocodylus (Boy what a stupid title) or in other words "BLOOD SURF" had to be one of the craziest films i have ever seen.The plot goes something like this. Around 5 people go to the South Pacific to go Blood Surfing- This is surfing of where the surfer makes himself bleed, so Sharks can come after him in the water.Instead of them dissing some sharks, they come across a monster...a "31 foot Crocodile"...Wow! Sound interesting? Trust me..It isn't.
The Crocodile does not appear in the film until half way, and BOY does that Crocodile look fake or WHAT, i havent seen such cheap CGI effects in my life. There is not ONE moment where the crocodile looks real, its legs dont move, at one scene the crocodile looked bigger than a mountain??The crocodile even looks like a cardboard cut out.Its so funny! The movie definantley is NOT original, its steals EXACT ideas from films like JAWS, INDIANA JONES and more.
But wait....Its a crocodile, and this film does have alot of deaths, so it must be Gory or scary right? Well i must tell you, the death scenes are ACTUALLY fun to look at, even though they are highly unoriginal. The script is so horrible and the ending is nuts, who the hell wrote this garbage? Who the hell bothered reading the script and actually MAKING IT?
The producers must have thought that adding ALMOST porn like sex in its film and gratautious nudity would make us forget...Well even though the sex scene was interesting, the acting was miserable. The lines in this movie are simply pathetic.Here are some of the lines used in this movie, its so funny.
Two sexy women flash their boobs at a Croc, and one of the girls say "We better stop this Croc-Teasing".
The death toll is numerous, but the more deaths, the less they seem to care, for example. A guy finds a surfboard out of nowhere and surfs his way to the crocodiles mouth, and the others say "Oh that must suck", i mean...ARENT THEY MEANT TO BE SCARED?? OR AT LEAST PRETEND TO BE? I think you should watch this film to simply laugh. A man is on board his ship which is at least 15 foot high, and this giant TOTALLY FAKE looking crocodile (that appears bigger than the mountain backdrop) jumps up, and grabs the guys head and jumps back into the water.Also where is this film met to be set in? I thought it was Australia, yet all of a sudden they are attacked by Mexican Guerrilas, and then they say that they are in the Phillipines, when there are many Chinese people around, and alot of the cast are American..WHAT???
This film simply relies on its good looking cast to go running around bouncing their flesh Baywatch style, this film lacks style.It starts off okay, and then it just gets HORRID, its actually SO funny.The characters in this film are so STUPID.A character jumps into the water where the crocodile is stuck in a noose, she swims near it with a camera, and then it lets itself loose. The crocodile looks like a cardboard cut-out in strings, its hilarious.
I give this movie 1 star out of 5, but i also want to give it a 5, no film has made me laugh so hard, when it had no intention to.PLEASE watch this movie, you will understand what i am talking about.
* - 1 STAR out of (5)
