Four friends break into an abandoned insane asylum in search of a death certificate which will grant one of them a large inheritance. However, finding it soon becomes the least of their worries in a place haunted by dark memories.
Brandon T. Jackson
The murderous fisherman with a hook is back to once again stalk the two surviving teens, Julie and Ray, who had left him for dead, as well as cause even more murder and mayhem, this time at a posh island resort.
Jennifer Love Hewitt,
Freddie Prinze Jr.,
A vengeful spirit has taken the form of the Tooth Fairy to exact vengeance on the town that lynched her 150 years earlier. Her only opposition is the only child, now grown up, who has survived her before.
Emma Caulfield Ford,
College freshman Cassandra "Cassie" steps into a nightmare of otherworldly visitations after surviving a devastating car accident. Haunted by a grim reaper of a far different kind, her only hope is to cling to chance encounters with her lost love Sean and the aid of a mysterious young priest named Father Jude. It is the spirit of Sean, her soul mate, who guides her to love, but it is her friends Matt, Annabel and Annabel's morose friend Raven who try to draw her to the dark side.Written by
Awful. One of the worst movies ever. Would've been a good movie if it weren't chopped up and marketed wrong.
A shoddily made "horror flick" that's actually a bad mash-up of romance and psychological thriller. I wonder how anybody's career survived this dud.
Dumb college kids go to a Goth party. A girl and her ex-boyfriend make out in an 'innocent' way. Her boyfriend gets ticked off, she gets her friends into a car accident, and the movie borrows from "Vanilla Sky", "Jacob's Ladder", and "Romeo and Juliet" (its supposed source of inspiration). Is the chick hallucinating? Is all this trouble she's going through really happening? Who cares?
Rumor has it, the script was good. Looks awfully messy to me. Either that, or some insidiously haphazard editing made it so that nothing made sense, just for the sake of a PG-13 rating. The "restored" Killer Cut which offered "MOAR 53X!!1!!! MOAR BLOOD AND GOAR!!!!1!! MOAR TERROR!!!1!!1!!!" still didn't bring any clarity. A marketing fail on Artisan Entertainment's part, the same studio which promoted "The Ninth Gate" as an action movie. Enough about that. This is anemic in terms of entertainment value, lacking chemistry, thrills, or even any unintentional humor. None of the younger actors could even act their way out of being a human centipede. With a rather hackneyed twist in an ending that took forever to reach, it's finally placed the final nail in its coffin. Just to add more suffering, you have to go through a lame soundtrack and the least consistent score ever heard. I mean, music you would hear during "Half-Life 2" incorporated into a 'scary, intense' chase scene in a swimming pool complex? No, that does not go there. Don't get me started on those main titles! And I thought "Chained" (a similarly bad film, only from Australia) was bad.
However, the only saving grace this film seems to have from it rotting along with the sparkly vampires and fake-CG pups is... Luke Wilson, as the sensitive priest dude. He was alright, doing the best he could with this material. The visual aspect, rancid as it is in the club, is only worth looking at in the reality and dream scenes.
Since there is nothing that can redeem this botched-up travesty, "Soul Survivors" is a disaster in every sense of the word. It delivers... a middle finger to horror fans looking for something simple or spooky, a steaming pile of crap to the psychological thriller lovers, and virtually nothing for there to appeal to everyone else. This is indeed one of the worst films I've laid my eyes upon.
Now, it's time for me to rinse them out so I could eliminate the burn that this travesty has cursed me with.
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