Dungeons & Dragons (2000) User Reviews

Just shoot me...

[gaussgoat · 1/10 · 5 February 2001]

In what can only be described as the worst movie made in the past decade, Dungeons & Dragons will leave you begging for mercy.

Hands down, the biggest contributor to the demise of this movie was the script. It was litterally the most insulting, inane dialogue I have ever been treated to in a movie.

Props arrive next in an extremely close second. The 35 Million dollars used to make this film must have been used on late night taco runs, because the quality of the props is abyssmal. The "prized artifact" of the movie looks like it fell out of a box of cracker jack, while some of the armor and backgrounds are straight out of the Bargain Bin at your local toy store. Better attempts at fantasy film making have been shot on camcorders across the globe in people's back yards.

The acting was terrible all around. The few, and I mean FEW, attempts at serious dialogue were crushed by the worst script ever. The only remotely cool character in the entire proceeding was Demadar, who was still pretty goofy. I guess if I was 8 or so, I might have thought he was creepy. The notably great actors in this film should have balked the moment they saw the script/quality of filming, and their presence on the screen only adds to the insult.

Th producers of this movie should be ashamed of themselves. Hundreds of thousands of loyal D&D fans have been waiting for over 25 years for a great, inspiring movie from their hobby. D&D has a prodigious level of material written about it, and any one of it's 100+ books would have made a better movie if read aloud by Pee Wee Herman.

This horror show of a movie will no doubt ensure the demise of a great hobby in the public eye for at least the next 10 years. Any potential fan of the game will be unable to forget this awful movie experience. Consider yourself warned, and never, EVER see this movie.

You know you're watching a bad movie when...

[wastingaway · 23 June 2004]

...the ENTIRE audience cheers at the death of one of the main characters. And tries to warn the poor saps standing outside the theater afterwards to run! run away!

I started playing D&D several years ago, so I'm not some snobbish player from the days when the source books were chiseled on stone tablets. My friends and I got a group together to go see the D&D movie as a lark. It was the worst waste of my time and money. The acting was horrid, the sets cheesy, the special effects amateurish, and the story juvenile. My DM's 10-year-old son could come up with better.

Oh, and after getting home, I discovered that I was allergic to something, and my arms and legs were covered in huge, itchy hives -- my fiancé maintains to this day that I was allergic to the awfullest movie we've ever seen.

This movie would possibly be viewable through a drunken haze, except for the possibility that it would make you throw up.

What a waste

[poem · 1/10 · 27 November 2001]

It is unbelievable how this movie could have been created with such good actors and so much money, but such a bad script and directing.

Dialogues are painfully bad in this movie, as is the story itself.

The acting is also below any standard you would expect from such an expensive movie. Jeremy Irons was especially shocking, his performance was very pathetic and flat, as if this would be a bad movie for three year olds. That was not acting, that was a torment ! I cried every time he appeared on the screen.

Thora Birch was also far, far below her level in 'American Beauty', obviously unable to tell how one should put a little life into her bad dialogue and flat character, and somehow even thinking that that was her own fault.

If at all, the thief Snails (Marlon Wayans from Scary Movie) had quite some good moments in his slapstick scenes, the only good moments in the whole movie. Unfortunately they don't last long. Wayans seems to have a talent to shine even in the worst movies, however.

The performance of the main actor was also bad. His dull and cheap sunnyboy behavior really nerved me, and I saw absolutely no reason for his 'being special', but far more for 'being untalented'.

The effects where better than the story, but really not that exciting either.

Some people say fantasy is about stereotypes, but that doesnt mean you can forget all rules how to make up a good story ! This story was not worth getting on the screen. This story was also not worth getting such good actors and effects. This story was nothing but crap !

And I can't believe that Jeremy Irons and Thora Birch are such bad actors, they have proven they can do far, far better ! I can only guess it must have been the director who forced them to do such bad performances.

Definitely not recommended for anyone except maybe children below ten. Oh wait, they're not allowed ? No loss.

One of the worst films of 2000

[Wizard-8 · 16 June 2001]

If there hadn't been a "Battlefield Earth", this movie probably would have gotten my vote for worst movie of 2000. The only way it is (slightly) better than that movie is the (very) occasional good set or effect.

I could write for hours about what's wrong with this movie, but this is what comes to mind immediately

(1) The horrible acting. I honestly can't understand why someone so talented as Jeremy Irons would be going so over the top. It's clear, however, that he isn't enjoying himself in the movie, so maybe he's getting revenge against the movie by acting so terribly

The most annoying performance goes to Marlon Wayans. His shrieking, cowardly character uncomfortably brings up images of stereotypes from the 1930s. At least he doesn't say "Feet, do your stuff!" - though he sure comes close.

(2) The bright, glitterly look of every scene. When you think of sword and sorcery, I think we all think of things rough and with grit. Not here.

(3) The movie constantly rips off from other (better) movies, most notably from the four STAR WARS movies

(4) The characters. Why the hell were the dwarf and elf in this movie? They could easily have been written out without consequence. And the main thief hero is one of the blandest heroes I've ever seen in the movie.

(5) Virtually all the special effects, sets etc. are AWFUL. Sometimes they look even worse than those seen on the Xena and Hercules shows! (Though those two shows at least have the excuse of having lower budgets - and they make up for the cheap effects by having better scripts, characters, and acting!)

(6) And speaking of scripts...thos script is terrible! Mainly it's because the story itself hardly makes any sense!

Surprising! Surprisingly bad, that is.

[jaburo · 1/10 · 14 May 2001]

For me, enjoying a movie can be achieved by properly managing expectations; if I expect Shakespeare, and I see Shakespeare I'm happy. Now, don't get me wrong - I liked Army of Darkness, like the rest of you. If I expect to see a dumb, camp, action flick and I see a dumb, camp, action-fest, I'm happy. With the D&D movie, I expected a dumb, camp, action flick, and I received something that was so unexpectedly foul that it caused me to write the world about it. How did this movie even get made? Now, I play D&D ( admit it, y'all do too ) so don't fault me for 'not understanding the genre'. The movie had too many characters, some of which disappear inexplicably during the course of the movie. The plot made no sense; the twists at the end came from nowhere. And don't get me started on Marlon Wayans's character - you mean to tell me that in the fantasy world of D&D, a black man can't get a role other than the Black Buddy Cop stereotype?

Pure crap, plain and simple.

Poor delivery, so-so effects and laughable performances all combine to produce a film that will barely appeal to kids

[bob the moo · 8 September 2005]

Ridley and Snails are thieves in the underclass of their world. Breaking into the magic school to steal they are captured by Marina but, when her master is killed, the thieves find themselves drawn into an attempt by the evil Profion to use the power of a lost sceptre to seize control from Empress Savina, who is trying to reform and make all men equal.

It is hard to really judge the plot of this film because I'm sure it could have been a rollicking, engaging "swords & sorcery" affair and it is only the delivery here that has turned it into a massive, insulting pile of rubbish. The way that the characters have to explain every single action in BIG LETTERS for the audience was something that grated on me and took me from thinking of it as lazy writing to finding it offensive that the writers thought I was too stupid to follow the story myself. Instead of being a strong narrative the film is just a basic adventure for kids, with effects and noise to keep them distracted. As such it is still only so-so because even children might struggle to care about the unimpressive CGI backgrounds and action set pieces. It'll please the very undemanding genre fan under 12 years old but unlikely many others.

The characters are another major failing – who thought that writing obnoxious, annoying or smug characters across the leads would cause an audience to be engaged by them? With this to work with, is it any wonder that the cast are roundly poor? Whalin must have thought his luck was in when he landed this role, but he messes it up with a performance that shows he is out of his depth and unsure of himself. McLellan is bland and quite irritating for the majority of the film but her faults pale in comparison to a trio of performances that stick in the mind as the worst of the film. Irons hams it up with all the carelessness of a pro who knows an easy payday when he sees it – he is hilariously terrible at times. Payne's blue lipstick seems to have affected his voice and every line is delivered as a sneer – it is never menacing and quickly becomes tiresome. However the worst performance is form, surprise surprise, Wayans who made me understand what Spike Lee's Bamboozled was getting at. He is a shrieking, mugging ethnic cliché – even worse than he usually does and even more annoying. The odd cameo from O'Brien or Baker do nothing to stop the rot and the cast add to the impression that this was cheaply made without much love.

Overall a poor film that will probably only appeal to kids. The plot is badly delivered and the effects are not as impressive as director Solomon was clearly banking on them being. The cast are lost in the middle of it all and not a single on of them gives a performance that you could call "good", all in all producing a pretty poor attempt at a blockbuster.

What the hell happened here?

[johnnyx-2 · 1/10 · 19 December 2005]

I knew it was going to be bad, but I like cheesy movies. And I knew it wasn't going to do justice to the D&D game, but I was open-minded to the effort. But good lord, this might be the worst movie I've ever seen.

Lots of people have shredded this movie in a lot of ways, so I've got little new to contribute to the mass lynching. But three quick summary points: The acting was embarrassing - the Jeremy Irons was clearly chewing up the set with a bad Christopher Lee impression, and Thora Birch really, really wanted to be elsewhere. Whichever Wayans got drunk enough to sign this contract was cringe-worthy, and the best thing he did was die (although he took too long getting about it).

The special effects were hilariously bad. The CGI for the sets was a distant second to Wolfenstein 3D, and anything involving 'magic' could've been better accomplished with a handful of colored yarn.

Finally, the plot was UTTERLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE. Our heroes are sent to find the Rod of Thingummy, because the Empress is about to lose her Whatchamacallit. As they mosey along, everyone says 'good lord, don't find the Rod of Thingummy, it's a horrible evil'. In fact, the only person that could be benefited by the Rod of Thingummy is Lord Sinister Big Bad. Still, our idiot heroes keep on trooping around, trying to find the Rod of Thingummy. THEN, the Empress doesn't even LOSE the Whatchamacallit in the first place, so there's NO need for the Powers of Good to get the Rod of Thingummy anyway. BUT THEY KEEP GOING. So, inevitably, they get the Rod of Thingummy (more warnings about 'don't find it' coming in along the way), and HEY, the BAD GUY STEALS IT FROM THEM.

Furthermore, that's what turns the tide of the war! The Empress was WINNING until our stupid heroes find the Rod and give it to the bad guys, what's up with that? Champions of the Realm?! They're idiots, and are personally responsible for the destruction of the city.

Which is, may I add, a good thing, as whatever Commodore 64 was building the cityscape graphics was clearly overheating at that point anyway.

Avoid at all costs. This movie is an abomination.

Oh Dear, another fine mess

[youngsteve · 2/10 · 31 August 2002]

I have just watched this film for the first time, & can confirm it is worse than what I had heard it was. Now as a rule I don't always take note of reviews of films, even if they are bad, as certain films can be bad & still quite enjoyable, even if the acting & plot are okay. Unfortunately, this is not only all the above, but also pretty tiresome & downright tedious as well.

The main unknown (to me anyway) leading threesome are all dreadful & from this showing awful actors as well. Justin Whalin is just laughable & one of the worst heroes in a long while. Probably since Val Kilmers appalling performance in The Saint. Zoe Mclellan is pretty enough (which probably explains away her deficiencies amongst other reviewers) but is still dreadful. The worse though is Marlon Wayons, whose performance is not only awful & completely unfunny, but also of a racist nature. The rest of the actors are also bad, but at least the likes of Jeremy Irons, Bruce Payne & Thora Birch, know they are only slumming it, & are at least decent actors if the material is there.

The plot is also weird & ridiculous, with no explanation of what is going on, & the upsetting thing was that the poor dragons couldn't have snacked on the lot of them, which would of at least made it a happy ending, for us & the dragons anyway. If you want to see a well acted & well made fantasy film watch Lord of the Rings instead.

One of the worst movies ever made!

[Johnny_Shannow · 1/10 · 5 November 2005]

I couldn't agree more with what the majority of reviewers have to say about this film, it was the biggest pile of crap I've ever been cursed to see at the cinema. The acting was especially shocking and horrific, Jeremy Irons's acting was very bad, from this film alone you'd think he was an amateur and had never made a good film in his life but the truth is, aside of this farce he's a great actor, which is why it was really shocking to see him camp it up as the way over the top villain. Anyone who praises this rubbish as a good film needs their head examined, and I personally thought even the plethora of cgi effects were pretty lame! The amount of other fantasy films it rips off is incredible, but The Lord of the Rings and Stars Wars seem particularly prevalent for the movie to plunder it's ideas from, and the resulting effect is merely a travesty of those classics.

D&D? Hellsballs, Yes!

[exploding-media-in · 10/10 · 27 October 2005]

Is this a quality film? No, it is not. Is this a well made film? No it is not. But is it entertaining? Thats really a matter of opinion, and mine is yes, it is. One very important thing that should be remembered when watching any sci-fi or fantasy movie is that it probably doesn't have a good budget. Or casting, or effects or maybe anything good at all. You should go into these movies, and i do mean ANY sci-fi/fantasy, knowing full well that there is a very good chance it is lacking in production value.

With all that said and done, this movie was an awesome amount of fun to watch. As a regular dice roller, i found the plot to be consistent with an average game, or at least with enough of the games elements to do it justice. Yes, the acting could have been better. And the writing. But it was FUN. I had a fantastic time the entire time i was watching it. I laughed, i cried (not really) and i joked about it afterward.

My point is, this movie is bad for the sake of being bad. I highly recommend it for any one in need of a fun hour and a half. It's probably best watched with friends, for mst3k reasons. Just don't let any pretensions ruin a fine movie for you.

Don't waste your time

[dreamdemon-1 · 1/10 · 13 December 2004]

As a D&D role player and obsessed fan I couldn't wait for this movie to come out. Expecting Lord of the Rings, I was hoping to find a fantasy prelude in D&D: the Movie. I had to see it twice, first time I couldn't believe how bad it was. I thought I had missed something but it turns out the makers of this movie missed a lot. They missed the D&D part, this movie only makes a mockery of the game and any plot imaginable. There is no acting, no plot. The very spirit of D&D is completely trashed. One of the worst parts is this Wayans guy who plays a Brooklyn rogue wannabe which is pointlessly killed in the middle of the movie. The characters are hardly believable (how stupid must the two rogues be) not to mention the entire action and party ("Only you were meant to pass"). A dwarf that barely has a role, a cute drow which also has no point in being there ... The movie barely adds up to 1 out of 10 and that's only because the dragon fight in the end is almost nice to watch.

Why does god hate me?

[stephen_king_kuk · 1/10 · 1 March 2007]

Why can't I give this zero out of ten? I can honestly say that this is without a doubt one of the biggest pieces of crap I have ever watched in my entire life.

The cast for a start! I know...let's get Jimmy from the new adventures of superman to play a lead role! WRONG! Oh...you know who is really funny? Marlon Wayans! WRONG! I think the biggest injustice in the film is the ruining of Jeremy Irons career. I literal felt it being flushed down the toilet while I watched it. I tried to keep watching in all honesty, but I kept on vomiting blood from its sheer awfulness.

The dwarf keeps disappearing, the orcs don't attack anyone, there is a big slow guy walking around wearing blue lipstick, Richard O'Brian is forced into a camp off with said blue lipstick wearing man, it was far too long (by too long, I mean it exists in our time and space), in one scene Jeremy Irons looks as though he is mounting the guy with the blue lipstick...why oh why oh why does this film exist? For those of you who have seen this...I pity you. For those of you who haven't or have considered doing so, save yourself some time and just ingest bleach. It's equally as fun.

If you love D&D, you'll hate this movie

[p.campbell · 3/10 · 27 October 2005]

I've been playing or DMing (A)D&D for most of my 38 years. Even before I hit my teens I was writing better scripts for adventures then exist in this movie; there are so many plot holes the truck hasn't been built that's too big to drive through them, and despite having a cast of actors that aren't all that bad, the acting is in most cases similarly dreadful.

So, if you've ever played (A)D&D do yourself a favour and DON'T watch this movie, to avoid all the hair being ripped out of your skull whilst watching. If you've never played (A)D&D then STILL DON'T watch this movie - rent out Willow or Princess Bride or Ladyhawke or Lord of the Rings to get an idea about how good a campaign/adventure could be; watching this will just put you off ever playing the game.

disgraceful

[Snooch · 1/10 · 26 May 2001]

I can only hope and pray that all the actors and actresses who appear in this film realise their mistake and get alternative means of income, they should be ashamed of the performances they put in. Marlon Wayans does an irritatingly poor and ill-advised Chris Rock impression all the way through the film that just makes you squirm and cringe. The other performances ranged from the badly cast, Thora Birch whose other work has been superb, as the princess to the ridiculous, represented by the performance of Justin Whalin. The total lack of any character development (which for me was needed as the characters are different from the cartoon I used to love) and the shallow acting all meant that I couldn't have cared less what happened to the characters, let alone cling on to the paper thin plot. With all this though, I sat through the entire movie,waiting for the end and feeling sure that Rocky and Bullwinkle Must be better than this pile of toss, and that dude, is saying a LOT...

Mine eyes have been defiled

[Invadertim1 · 1/10 · 28 April 2005]

I can recall the event clearly... There I was... sitting upon the floor, my cousin's beside me. One of my cousin's friends had brought in a rental DVD and presented it to us with a smile stating it was "the best movie ever created". Looking at the title, a rush of excitement hit us as we realized that Dungeon's and Dragon's (a game we had all loved at one time or another) had finally been made into a respectable movie. As we opened the DVD, an aura of evil emanated from it, and although we noticed the clear evil coming from this DVD, we were expecting "the best movie ever created". However the moment the screen turned on, our cousin's friend slinked away, muttering something about the apocalypse. What followed was quite possibly the worst movie experience of my life. After this horrid event, I didn't watch a movie for about 6 mouth's, and I was too scared to turn on the TV, thinking that at any time the ear splitting screech of snails was to come upon me. Now... at first, we were slighty amused by it. However as time went on we realized the grand mistake we had made for watching this disgusting excuse for a visible object. DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS. ALSO IF YOU ARE TO READ THIS, YOU MAY WANT TO BUY A COUPLE OF VIALS OF HOLY WATER TO THROW AT YOUR COMPUTER AS YOU DO.

Alright... First off, Problem one, Snails. WHAT KIND OF A HUMAN BEING IS NAMED SNAILS??? His mind blowing screeching of RIIIIDELLLLYYYY is just plain and flat out horrifying. The acting? Throwing mine own dung at the wall would be more entertaining. The special effects? Half the scenes looked like they we're drawn with crayons. The random dwarf? Who was that guy? He just appeared, drop kicks the guy with the blue lips and then runs away to join the lard filled team. Next... If any of you did see this (then you better bathe in the river Jordan :p) you may recall how they found the "thieve den". THEY FOLLOWED A OUT OF PLACE BLUE HEADED GUY!!! How they heck did they know he was a thief? Was it is skin color? Does that mean every thing blue steals? ... Alright then you may remember how (when trying to enter the cave) The dwarf runs into the barrier. After clearly hurting himself doing so, JUST TO DOUBLE CHECK!!! HE RUNS INTO THE THING AGAIN!!! Now there are far too many things to mention and I can truly say the only good part was when snails somehow randomly died ... O but the worst part... Was the ending. EVERYONE TURNED INTO RED ORBS AND FLOATED AWAY!!!!!! AMAZING!!! Does that mean their all dead? What the heck was that supposed to be? If one could give a negative score, I could definitely see the digits after the negative sign on rating of this piece of garbage (which is being as kind as possible to this worthless lard) reaching around the sun. Don't WATCH IT!!! IF you do or did... I just don't know how you could live with yourself, get yourself exorcised or something.

I rather enjoyed this movie.

[Michaelpazzerati · 3 December 2006]

There are many people out there who are completely and in my opinion ridiculously set in their views on movies. So when anything out of the ordinary comes along they dismiss it as bad or poorly made. When in reality it is a breath of fresh air in an ever stagnating Hollywood. It isn't often that something fresh comes along and while the story might not be the most original the style of this movie is. Some people say that the acting is terrible in this movie bu, I felt that it was very well done. For those of you who say it is corny and unrealistic I would love to introduce you to the real world. I an't count how many times I have seen people act exactly the way the characters/actors do in Dungeons and Dragons.

The plot in this movie was obviously streamline for time purposes but it doesn't suffer because of this. In fact it benefits greatly by keeping the action moving and the audience engaged. For once I actually felt the urgency of the task set before the heroes where as in other movies the horrible destruction of the world always seems to wait until the hero is done having sex with the girl and all the snappy jokes are delivered. If anything is unrealistic it is that type of story. Anyway I am rambling on so to finish up I love this movie and I feel that all those involved did a wonderfully spectacular job.

DRAGON WARS: THE WINGED MENACE

[DoctorSkyTower · 1/10 · 19 November 2001]

Am I correct when I finish watching this BORING movie I've just viewed a poorly-rendered version of T.P.M? With a bit of Return of the Jedi and other star wars stuff thrown in?

Whoever did the editing for this movie must've either been asleep or stoned off their face, because the plot was ripped to utter shreds! So many things happen and are not explained or explained poorly. Now a movie of this genre should be easy to understand. So why did this flick blow chunks?

WARNING! WINGED SPOILERS! WARNING!

1) The boring political confrontation between the Princess (who was a carbon copy of Queen Amidala), and the bad-guy Darth Sidious-look-alike Jeremy Irons (whose acting was dire). Took me half the movie to figure they were fighting over plastic-looking dragon-controlling stage props so they could go to war with some enemy I missed the name of.

2) The thief-hero Ridley and mage Marina disappear into a map portraying some place I also missed the name of, and then reappear. Two hours later: still hadn't figured out what they'd done in the map that conjured up all the answers so conveniently. My 'I'm Bored' meter started rising sharply by this point...

3) Our hero and heroine kiss. He tells her magic-users are superior and he won't have anything to do with them, then contradicts himself and kisses her. Pardon? Nothing more is tacked on to this boring cliche romance. Did I miss yet something else here? Hmm... Maybe not...Yawn.

4) SNAILS?? Excuse me? JAR JAR SNAILS? I thought we'd already endured the awful side kick syndrome, learned from it, and done away with it after the emergence of that floppy-eared, idiotic pigeon-English-speaking fool BUT NO! (or should I say NOOOOOOOOOO!!) Now Jar jar Snails squeals and screams like a girl, but at least he ain't C.G.I!

5) Profion's cheesy hench man. You take Darth Maul's make up off, and what do you get? Darth Maul's blue lips! A villain has not been more fake than listening to the drawn-out hissing of his ridiculously funny, cliche lines. My acting is MUCH better... and I CAN'T ACT!

6) What the heck were those blue, pulsating eye things wondering around with the guards? Why did this movie's creators include these creatures when they do nothing, not even bothering to appear during a 'climatic' battle scene. (must've run out of money to C.G.I them doing stuff other than float briefly by!)

THE ENDING. It is by far the WORST ending I've ever had to endure, right up there with the NEXT worst ending in movie history: Hollow Man. I rate this movie 1/10, the 1 because the end act is so lame and cliche ridden, it's a laugh!

Don't get caught in this dungeon

[michaelsibley416 · 7 September 2004]

"Dungeons & Dragons" is so terrible, I can't help myself from laughing at people who say they liked this film.

This is one of the worst mistakes ever made in Hollywood. I had an inkling of what the end result of this film would be; however, I wanted to give it a chance.

The first problem is the lack of plot to accompany the numerous action sequences. It seems to me that the action was supposed to be the main draw. I can only assume the writer forgot that there are people who actually like to see a film with BOTH action and story when they see a film. In addition, the cause of fighting the villain is so stupid; who cares.

The second problem I see is casting. Combine an unestablished actor with little film experience and zero talent with a very talented veteran, Jeremy Irons and you have a disaster for a film called "Dungeons & Dragons."

"Dungeons & Dragons" should have stayed locked in a dungeon in a far off place so nobody has to go the suffering I did when I saw this film. If you see this film, good luck.

Fantasy Flop.

[FiendishDramaturgy · 1/10 · 12 January 2005]

Knowing some of the "inside story" with TSR, I will say this...5 stars (*****) to the Corporate Martyrs who sacrificed for this movie to be made. Unfortunately for us fans of the game, it just impacts its failure all the more.

I have always loved the game; the role playing paper game, not the video game. I have even developed my own take of fantasy role playing games and developed my own systems. So it's a given that I was looking forward to this project with a great anticipation.

Whenever you anticipate an event that much, there is simply no way it can live up to your idea of what the event should entail. There is no where to go but down.

For that reason, I have waited years to write this review; thinking that perhaps I would be less disappointed in the finished product once I had had time to review it in a less biased light.

I'm completely over hating it from the original disappointment. Now, I just hate it, period.

I don't know what other gamers expected, except for those blokes who walked around whining because there should have been DICE in the movie. Unbelievable. I never expected anything like that, but what I ~did~ expect was a cohesive story, good quality performances, adequate direction, and AD&D-worthy effects.

I was sorely disappointed in all areas and on all levels.

Time did not heal the wound that is Dungeons & Dragons.

Save yourself a torturous 2 hours and avoid this stinker at all costs.

It rates a 0.1/10 from...

the Fiend :.

Pure garbage

[elladan · 1/10 · 21 December 2000]

This pathetic abortion of a movie was just screaming for a cameo appearance by Joel and the bots. The special effects were weak, the plot was a laughable sequence of the worst cliches, the acting was simply awful, and I've seen better scripts written by 12 year olds.

Suffice it to say absolutely nothing interesting, unusual, or unpredictable happens during the entire movie. The best part of the movie is when you're standing outside the theater and decide not to see it at all.

Don't rent it either. Don't even watch it when USA starts showing it at 3 am because they couldn't sell the time slot. It's not even well done garbage.

A true role-playing adventure!

[killerqueen-1 · 9/10 · 26 September 2006]

It has caught the feeling of the roleplayinggame totally. People who don't like this movie can't ever have played the game in their youth. It's like actually watching an adventure played by thirteen-year-olds, and its wonderful.

I think people take this movie for something other than it was meant to. I think it was meant to be a fun role-playing-inspired film. Nothing less, nothing more.

I love the fact that everything that happens is classic and that every character is so un-original that it almost hurts.

Someone wrote in their comment something about that the elf and the dwarf had nothing to do in the movie, and they're WRONG! How could you ever try to gather a party to save the world without the dwarf and the elf, I just ask. Everyone knows that they MUST be in the group.

Another person wrote that he can't help but laugh at people who like this movie, and thats so darn sad. Do he laugh to hide his grief over the sad fact that he is so stuffed with criticism that he just can't relax and treat the movie as its meant: with a grain of salt and a big smile, cause hey - epical fantasy humor is FUN! If you don't like the movie, buy the game, roll a D20 and create something better with your friends instead of whining like a baby.

Not perfect, but damn good

[ThreeElephants · 8/10 · 27 November 2006]

The actors ... falter. That's the only way I can explain it. In most of the scenes the acting is brilliant, but every so often we see a shot in which the acting is not up to par. Except for the actress who plays the Empress, who is consistently lousy.

And for some reason, there's one guy with blue lips. I don't know what that's about.

But beyond that, I can't think of anything wrong with the movie. The plot and the characters are engaging, the special effects are very realistic. If you know what to look for, you can tell that most of the shots of the town are 90 to 100% CG, but where the animation ends and real sets begin is less obvious.

You should watch this.

How "Dungeons and Dragons" Tried To Be The Next "Star Wars."

[Fanboy_Douchebag · 10/10 · 22 May 2003]

I love this movie. I really do. I saw it during its theatrical run and laughed so hard that I literally started crying at one point; so when it ended up on DVD, I had to own it. During the year-and-a-half that it has been in my DVD library, I've discovered an interesting fact: I...can't...stop...watching it.

Now, why do I enjoy this movie so much and publically p*** all over the far superior "Star Wars" prequels? Well, for one thing, I don't have any emotional stock in "D&D." It's a terrible movie with two-dimensional characters, bad writing, horrible direction, and so many cliches that if you tried making it into a drinking game you'd surely die of alcohol poisoning. It's never more than it appears to be: a potato chip movie. Sure, it'll rot the brain--but only if you take it seriously (which, I'm afraid, the creative forces behind it did, much to their undoing).

"Star Wars," however, DOES mean something to me...So when I see one of THOSE films and find it's riddled with two-dimensional characters, bad writing, horrible direction and a multitude of cliches, I have to wonder whether or not we even need "Spaceballs" anymore. Anyway, I expect more of Mr. Lucas...but NOT of Courtney Solomon.

Solomon and his screenwriters sought to create a trilogy here to cash in on the "Star Wars" phenomenon, and because the anticipation for the first installment of LOTR was growing, a fantasy setting seemed an obvious choice. However, the allusions to LOTR are slight (probably because it had yet to roll off the block); but it's a near-perfect copy of Episode I with a few OT moments thrown in. Obviously, after the success of "Phantom Menace," it seemed an easy tomb to rob. The only thing that surprises me is how few critics (or fanboys) have mentioned it.

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1)THE OPENING TEXT CRAWL

Anytime a fantasy/sci-fi movie opens with either a text or voice reading that "sets the stage," we're reminded of "Star Wars," which did it perfectly and without the pretentiousness that its imitators embraced. In "D&D," Bruce Payne supplies the narrative. It's "Star Wars" in every way, right down to the way the last sentence trails off ("But the evil mage Profion has other plans....).

2)THE YOUNG QUEEN

Now, I don't understand why I was the only one with a problem with the concept of Queen Amidala. First of all, in a monarchy, you don't ELECT a queen; and secondly, if you do, you vote for the candidate who ISN"T thirteen years old. Seriously, how do you LOSE an election like that...?

"D&D" aped this completely. She's young. She's idealistic. She's wooden. She wears god-awful dresses and gaudy head-pieces. Hell, if you want to get REALLY nit-picky about it, you could say that Solomon cast Thora Birch because of the strategically-placed moles on her face that suggest Amidala's "red dot" thing.

3)THE OLDER, TRUSTED ADVISOR WHO'S GONE BAD

Instead of Palpatine, we're treated to Profion, the worst role Jeremy Irons ever took (and his equally worst performance). Behind the scenes, Profion is plotting to overthrow the queen (referred to as "the empress" so as not to seem too blatant a rip-off), and is sowing seeds of discord within the council (senate) in order to overthrow her rule. His dirty work, however, is saved for his chief lieutenant...

4)THE DARK WARRIOR

Bruce Payne's character, Damodar, is equal parts Darth Vader and Darth Maul. He's a towering, sadistic, black-clad, slow-moving and unbelievably strong armour-clad warrior (Vader) who also happens to be bald-headed and painted with stupid-ass make-up (Maul, who didn't look stupid-ass at all). If this wasn't enough, listen for the thinly disguised echo of "The Imperial March" when he first appears at the magic school.

5)LUKE/HAN

In Ridley, we have a combination of the Luke and Han characters. He's a scoundrel who cares nothing for the "greater good," but in the end, is willing to turn aside from his love of money (he rejects a pile of easily obtainable gold) in favour of saving the kingdom from the evil Profion. Also we learn that he has latent magical abilities, stemming from his father (this was to be expanded upon in the sequels, when Damodar tells Ridley, "No--I am your father!").

6)JAR-JAR REDUX

Marlon Wayans. Good God, could the allusion be any more transparent. Let's see: he's a tall, gangly African-American stereotype spouting catch-phrases, bungling his way in and out of trouble, and generally getting on our *beep* nerves with his not-so-fun humour. Hell, he even has a hat that resembles a pair of goofy, Gungan-like ears. The only satisfaction is that he dies painfully.

7)THE SCOUNDREL AND THE GOOD GIRL

Like Leia and Han before them, Ridley and Marina come from two different worlds: he's an opportunistic creep and she's a member of the aristocrisy. At first they bitch at each other to work out the sexual tension; but in the end, fall in love, much to our great surprise.

8)THE MIND RAPE

Remember when Vader interrogated Leia, using the mind probe to extract the necessary information? In this movie, he uses a pair of penises that live in his ears.

9)LET'S SAVE THE GIRL FROM THE IMPENETRABLE FORTRESS!

Hey--it's the only way to steal back the much-sought-after "plans," right? And while we're there, let's have a main character die, allowing for our hero to scream "NOOOOO!" (while Milking A Giant Cow, no less).

10)CITIES IN TREES

At least the elf cities in LOTR looked elegant. The one here looks shockingly similar to the Ewok village.

11)THE SWORDFIGHT

When Ridley and Damodar have their duel, the clash of their blades creates a lightning effect, rendering the bad guy's sabre red and the good guy's sabre blue. Damodar is finally defeated after Ridley does a leap, sucker-slashes his foe in the midsection, who then falls over a steep drop. It all seemed vaguely familiar...

12)RESISTING THE DARK SIDE

Ridley is momentarily seduced by dark magic during the climax; but only by turning aside and embracing the light can he persevere. "No! I won't become...YOU!"

13)BORING POLITICS AND BAD CGI.

Come on: you know it's true.

14)SPLIT-SECOND ESCAPE CHOICES

When reaching a dead-end while pursued by baddies, our heroes take the smelliest possible escape route: through the sewers. To reach this destination, they must dive head-first down a chute where they land in a pool of cr@p (not unlike the Death Star trash compactor, or all of "Attack of the Clones").

15)OTHER BLATANT RIP-OFFS

Need I mention how Ridley keeps grinning and saying, "Trust me?" Or how he goes through the Thieves' Maze, a series of "riddles" straight out of all three "Indiana Jones" movies? Or about the scene where Marina, belly-down on the floor, is grasping for the scroll, which during the fight, is getting kicked around like a certain diamond in "The Temple of Doom?" Or how Ridley is stabbed in the shoulder and can be healed only by the King of the Elves? Or that scene where.....

You get the point. Watch this movie. Watch it RIGHT NOW. It might be a hodgepodge of rehashed ideas, but it's ten times more entertaining than these new "Star Wars" movies.

By the way: a sequel has been officially greenlit.

An abomination.

[kmberger · 1/10 · 20 November 2002]

Some have said that those who played the game or enjoy genre fantasy films might find something to like in 'Dungeons & Dragons'. They couldn't be more wrong. This is a useless, clueless film from start to finish that has no idea of what it wants to be. It combines elements of a bad script, terrible acting, and average special effects to create a gloriously bad achievement. It's a would-be franchise that shot itself in the foot right out of the box. And if this is any indication of what future installments would have looked like, to that I say, "Thank God."

Jeremy Irons plays the evil wizard Profion straight out of Overacting 101 - he's all sneers and shouts and waving hands. His lackey Damodar (Bruce Payne) is blue-lipped and black-armored (therefore evil) and exudes all the menace of an overripe eggplant. Thora Birch - wonderful in 'American Beauty' - looks like she was blackmailed into this role, as she's completely catatonic throughout the film, giving her Empress Savina (the wholesome representation of all things Good) zero energy and appeal.

How about those heroes? Marlon Wayans (Snails, the thief) is completely annoying, offering nothing to the proceedings; Justin Whalin (Ridley, another thief) - the nominal hero - is a goofball who'd be outclassed by the cast of Baywatch; and Zoe McLellan (Marina, the mage) is the only one who seems to even try to keep to a thematic element of fantasy, though she's in way over her head.

'Dungeons & Dragons' is a complete mess and a complete waste of your time. If you want a fantasy film that draws upon the roleplaying game, try the one that D&D was based on in the first place: 'Lord of the Rings'. Keep this thing as far away from your television as possible.