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Robert J. Emery
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Ashes is the story of a young Indo-American man who struggles in the inner city of New York to support himself and his mentally ill older brother. When a group of small time Indian ... See full summary »
A French foreign exchange student, named Genevieve, comes to a small town in Texas to attend a local high school where she shacks up with the school's popular head cheerleader, Starla, and her parents. But Starla soon learns that this French girl is not only smart, attractive, and naive, but quite conniving when Geneviere, with no social life of her own, begins to take over Starla's, starting with stealing the affections her parents, her friends and Starla's boyfriend. When Starla is forced to quit the cheerleading squad after getting some bad grads, Genevieve moves in to take her place. When Starla figures out that Genevieve deliberately set it up by giving her bad tutoring to fail all those classes, she begins an all-out personal war against Genevieve to take back her social life. But Genevieve is anticipating exactly that type of response from Starla and soon turns everyone, including Starla's friends and family, against her by playing the poor victim and making it appear that ...Written by
Actor Michael Weston originally had a starring role. See more »
While Starla is doing the morning announcements, the clock in the hallway reads "4:22" See more »
[in a jail cell; voice-over]
We're all capable of doing bad things. Lord knows I've done my share. Things I'm truly ashamed of. But should my life, so young and full of sweet promise, be tragically cut down before it ever had a chance to shine? If I ever get out of her, as God is my witness, somebody's gonna pay. Or as the great German philosopher Fred Nitsche once said: "that which does not kill us, is gonna wish it had," because we are about to Fed ex it's sorry ass back to skank ...
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No French people were harmed during the making of this film. See more »
The USA DVD version runs 88 minutes which is shorter than the original version. The TV network version, although edited with some scenes cut, has additional scenes and extended scenes which include a longer version of the opening 'Beef' beauty pa gent with the dance interrupted by Doreen protesting beef, as well as extended dressing room scenes between Starla, Ashley and Tanner. Also cut from the DVD is the part of Kimmy Sue introducing Tanner, the beauty finalist, first ahead of Ashley who mumbles her response to the questions. An extended scene of Starla talking to Geneieve in her bedroom about her desire to become a TV star. See more »
Closer to Perfect
Written by Charity Chapman
Published by Clayman Publishing
Performed by Charity Chapman See more »
Teen comedy without brains
Rating: 12 Stars: Piper Perabo, Jane McGregor Theme: Teen comedy Violence/Language/Nudity: Comedy violence and occasional strong language
Very few films these days have a title which deserve the applause this one does. Regardless of the quality of the movie, Slap Her.She's French is simply a brilliant, and completely unexplained, title. So after worshipping one of the funniest film titles of all time, is the movie any where near as good as the name promises. Well, no. But then the title is a lot to live up to, so its not to say that the film isn't any good at all. A French foreign exchange student comes to stay with a stereotypical hicksville Texan family and their beauty pageant winning daughter. The French girl, however, is not all that she seems. Essentially this film abuses the French and the Texans, so far its appealing to most Brits.
The story is pretty predictable, as are most of the jokes. The characters are all stereotypes, conforming to tried and tested formulae. Slap Her. sets itself up as an inferior version of Drop Dead Gorgeous. The narrative is slow to start and when it eventually does, has plot holes the size of the Lone Star State. Not all the jokes miss the mark though. For every couple of missed funnies, there is one laugh out loud moment. Some of the set pieces are neat and will appeal to the audience with a slightly more discerning tastes, but these moments are rare and unappreciated by the film's creators. You can't help but feel that had this been made by a British team the humour would have been that bit more subtle and consistent. The narrative itself is incredibly slow to start, something which could have been avoided had the director (Melanie Mayron) realised that we already knew everything she was telling us about her characters. A montage sequence would have been far more successful method of exposition.
The performances are varied. Perabo as the "obviously" French Genevieve is either wasted or just plain useless, we can only hope its the former. McGregor's Starla (even the name's obvious) is over the top but appealing. The supporting cast often fair better, but are hideously underdeveloped. The entire lesbian relationship sub plot of Starla's two best friends comes and goes without rhyme nor reason. Starla's mum (Julie White) and her alcoholic ice tea habit could have been a thread worth developing, but there is no reason for it being mentioned at all with the script the way it stands. Even Starla's consumption of an entire flask of her mum's favourite tipple fails to create any humour from her inevitable drunkenness. Starla's saviours are her brother (Jesse James) and school newspaper photographer Ed (Trent Ford). Neither of whom are used anywhere near as much as they should have been. These actors and their performances suggest that this movie could have been so much more than it is, had the actors been given the script that you get the impression could have existed.
Many of the movies problems stem from the sensation that there was originally a much larger and more complete script that followed through some of the story lines suggested in the final piece. It is almost as if the makers didn't want to offend anyone too much and therefore removed lots of the superior narrative. This all leads to an average movie that could have been so much more. Never quite reaching straight to video levels, this is never going to be a classic in the vein of Ten Things I Hate About You, which it easily could have been. As a Sunday night diversion Slap Her.She's French is acceptable. There are enough laughs to prevent you feeling cheated, and a slightly warm fuzzy feeling that you just can't help getting in your stomache. This is simply a teen comedy which missed the opportunity to be a classic of the genre, and you just can't help feeling that it really could have been a contender.
Mark: 5/10 Who to go with: Your girlfriend or younger sister
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